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I have become obsessed with 2 people and now can't get them out of my head.

One of them I have worked with for a few years and never thought about in 'that' way.

The other I met years ago and have recently just crossed paths again due to mutual friends.

Both of these 2 are married with kids so nothing can come of it, and I am long term single by choice, likely eternally so.

Why have I just now developed these feelings?
Why can't I get these 2 out of my head?
When I saw the one at work today it was like being 12 again with a crush.
Since I've worked with them for so long and felt nothing why am I now so obsessed?

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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years, long, head, worked, obsessed
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Rockster160
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Despite what we may try, humans are very dependent on each other. It's likely your body craving attention. Sometimes these things can take years to bubble up, and they'll come in waves. Sometimes the feelings will be stronger, and they may fade again with time, only to come back again a little while later.

May be a good time to meet up with some old friends just for catching up- doesn't need to be them, and they don't need to be close friends. It's good to just connect with people now and then. 🙂

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Evansent
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Sounds like your lonely and I don't mean that in a bad way. I think you need to put yourself out there more,be more sociable with the opposite ***sex.

Electric
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Obsession at the adult level is not very healthy.

The obsession worsens depending on the demograph at the human level ie married
ie married with kids
ie being married, obsessed with another married person or being married obsessed with another married person with kids
ie being married with kids obsessed with another married person, or being married with kids obsessed with another person married with kids.

Now, mix the fact of a workforce involved with that.

Being single really isn't going help unless you turn your view(s) to another single person.

Be careful.

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Rockster160 wrote:
Despite what we may try, humans are very dependent on each other. It's likely your body craving attention. Sometimes these things can take years to bubble up, and they'll come in waves. Sometimes the feelings will be stronger, and they may fade again with time, only to come back again a little while later.

May be a good time to meet up with some old friends just for catching up- doesn't need to be them, and they don't need to be close friends. It's good to just connect with people now and then. 🙂

I really don't want a significant other in my life, I am meant to be alone, I am incapable of being with anyone, be that lover, friend or family.
I also have no interest in casual ***sex, so that fully rules out any involvement with the opposite ***sex.
It's seldom I ever even look at anyone and feel any attraction, the only exception really being maybe 2 or 3 celebrities so nothing of any real meaning.

Evansent wrote:
Sounds like your lonely and I don't mean that in a bad way. I think you need to put yourself out there more,be more sociable with the opposite ***sex.

I don't think that I am lonely.
I'm alone, but to be lonely means to want to not be alone.

I have had people interested in me, some of them have seemed like good people, but I've turned them down as it's just not right for me.

Everyone at work has a list of people that work there they fancy, and this one I've suddenly become massively attracted to appears on nobody's list, whereas some of the ones that have shown interest in me appear on a few people's lists.

I don't want to date, don't want a relationship and don't want casual ***sex.
So I don't understand why I have suddenly started having these feelings and thoughts.

I was so excited this morning waiting for that person to arrive, even though we would only be together for 5 mins before we went off in different directions, and was disappointed I didn't see them as we left work.

I don't like feeling like this.

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Big-Al-One wrote:
Obsession at the adult level is not very healthy.

The obsession worsens depending on the demograph at the human level ie married
ie married with kids
ie being married, obsessed with another married person or being married obsessed with another married person with kids
ie being married with kids obsessed with another married person, or being married with kids obsessed with another person married

They are both married with kids.
I am single.
The one at work hasn't lead me on at all, the other possibly flirted a bit, but nothing inappropriate for an unavailable person.

I wouldn't want to play the role of someone that breaks up a family.
The amount of that that goes on is part of the reason I am permanently alone.

I could almost have my pick of available people, but I'm not interested in any of them.

Since I don't want anyone I could have, why do I have such strong feelings for these two???

Electric
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Anonymous wrote:
Since I don't want anyone I could have, why do I have such strong feelings for these two???

You could be misintrepting your feelings. It simply could be that something inside you is awake to the character of these two people. Perhaps a sign that you can desire these qualities in other (more) available people.

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Anonymous
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Big-Al-One wrote:
Obsession at the adult level is not very healthy


Now, mix the fact of a workforce involved with that.

Being single really isn't going help unless you turn your view(s) to another single person.

Be careful.

I know and understand this, and because of the professional relationship we have to maintain, even if they were single it wouldn't be a good idea to start something.

I don't want to turn these feelings towards someone that's single as I don't want to be with someone.

Electric
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Well...we all operate on a biological clock. Sometimes, nature picks us up and takes us for an emotional ride, willingly or not.
Spring fever has a way of showing up early.
But if you're determined to remain single, all you can do is hold on until the intensity of the ride lessens.

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Anonymous
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Big-Al-One wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Since I don't want anyone I could have, why do I have such strong feelings for these two???

You could be misintrepting your feelings. It simply could be that something inside you is awake to the character of these two people. Perhaps a sign that you can desire these qualities in other (more) available people.

The one at work isn't considered attractive amongst other colleagues, isn't particularly funny and doesn't have a great persona (not a bad person, just doesn't hold the typical attractive qualities people go for)

The other person is a lot older than me, looks it, and acts it.

They probably would be considered attractive by people 20 yrs older than me, and they are interesting, but we are fromcompletely different worlds and social class, and live hours apart so even if they were single it couldn't work.

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Big-Al-One wrote:
Well...we all operate on a biological clock. Sometimes, nature picks us up and takes us for an emotional ride, willingly or not.
Spring fever has a way of showing up early.
But if you're determined to remain single, all you can do is hold on until the intensity of the ride lessens.

I am incapable of being with anyone, I can't form and hold relationships of any type.

My biological clock time for reproducing is pretty much up, but I have never had any parental urges even before my time was coming to an end, I couldn't do a parental relationship either.

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Anonymous wrote:

Big-Al-One wrote:
Well...we all operate on a biological clock. Sometimes, nature picks us up and takes us for an emotional ride, willingly or not.
Spring fever has a way of showing up early.
But if you're determined to remain single, all you can do is hold on until the intensity of the ride lessens.

I am incapable of being with anyone, I can't form and hold relationships of any type.

My biological clock time for reproducing is pretty much up, but I have never had any parental urges even before my time was coming to an end, I couldn't do a parental relationship either.

And it's not that I'm just determined to remain single, like I'm fighting urges, I just feel no desire to need or want someone in my life.
I am normally not feeling any sort of desire or attraction to anyone.

I did even briefly question my sexuality, but I'm not attracted to anyone of the same ***sex either.

This is why this is so confusing for me, I have no interest in anyone in any way, then suddenly am hugely attracted to two people that I can't have and one of which have known for years and not been interested in.

Electric
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Anonymous wrote:
The one at work isn't considered attractive -
The other person is a lot older than me, looks it, and acts it -
but we are fromcompletely different worlds -

But that will never stop your personal appreciation for "types" as these, and there's nothing wrong with that. I kind of find it strange there is a "rating system" amongst your colleges at work. I've never been involved in a labor situation that included that kind of collective thinking - so it's strange to me.
I've seen some hot babes at work in times past - but would never discuss it with anyone.

Anonymous wrote:
- then suddenly am hugely attracted to two people that I can't have -

A passing fancy. Something to ride out.

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Big-Al-One wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The one at work isn't considered attractive -
The other person is a lot older than me, looks it, and acts it -
but we are fromcompletely different worlds -

But that will never stop your personal appreciation for "types" as these, and there's nothing wrong with that. I kind of find it strange there is a "rating system" amongst your colleges at work. I've never been involved in a labor situation that included that kind of collective thinking - so it's strange to me.
I've seen some hot babes at work in times past - but would never discuss it with anyone.

Anonymous wrote:
- then suddenly am hugely attracted to two people that I can't have -

A passing fancy. Something to ride out.

We have a lot of spare time on our hands at work.
We have too much time to discuss these matters.
Everyone has put a lot of thought into their ****fuck, marry, kill lists, and they're all public knowledge.

I hope these feelings pass quickly if that's all it is, as I'm not used to feeling attraction or urges of any kind.

A
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