Good I'm glad to hear it!😊

Oh, I'm fine! I was just catching up on some sleep and obligatory RL socialization. Lol. I don't think I'm going anywhere from here.

Hope your ok .
Please stay.*hugs you*

I've just read the "mera" post.
Hope your ok.

Sure.😊

May I show you something in regards to what we talked about?

My liver is fine. :) It was back at 100% function after 6 weeks of my overdose. Alcohol wasn't my issue. It was the 20,000mg of paracetamol within 23 hours that almost finished me.

I'm not actually a big drinker anyway. Maybe about 4 times out of an entire year. November is just difficult month for me though, and I had a rough week.

Yes I gathered seeing as you sent the wrong message which said 'liquid courage'
Hope it doesn't affect your liver to much.
I'm not a drinker myself (can't stand the stuff)

I am, yes. Just tired and hung over. Lol.

Are you ok?

Mux**

Shouted myself.🤦‍♂️
I'm guessing you think I was Soco again.
Don't worry I get mix dip to.😉

I noticed you said that you at at work today and may not be able to communicate back and forthe as frequently - it' 4:09M on Friday where I am, and I was * supposed ** to be trying to get some sleep. So I should try that at some point.

Wrong person.😊

Hehe. Perhaps we don't have much of a language barrier then! Most of Australian slang/verbal usage is from the UK. Which might make some things seem a bit easier.

I noticed you said that you at at work today and may not be able to communicate back and forthe as frequently - it' 4:09M on Friday where I am, and I was * supposed ** to be trying to get some sleep. So I should try that at some point.

Again...thank you for letting me confide in you. Even though 99.9% of it was just liquid courage. :P

I'm also British.😊

Your welcome,Aria anytime.😊

Thank you for letting me vent You are probably only the third person from this site that I have ever confided in the subject... and it took me until only a few months ago to talk about in details to ONE of them.

I can't even see certain names in the media without thinking of them and remembering the dark thoughts/times.

Thank you for listening and for understanding how I feel. Truly. It means so so so much more to me than I can ever explain. Thank you.

I need to go now. I'll be back later.
Keep your chin up.😉

You did not ramble,your speaking from the heart.
That is a good thing.😊

Aww that is so cruel! And so bloody uncalled for.

I just say it like it is. You know I'm not here to judge.
I think we all make past mistakes.
If anything I have learnt in this life,it's that it's to short to keep grievances.
I'm hoping that this help site will benefit everyone.
Let the past go and start a fresh.

I'm sorry. I rambled again. :(

007/2008? Yup. That's about the time that I joined! Pae/Paeino was their screen name. I'd say more, but I stupidly once promised that there were some things that I would take to my grave about them...and my conscience is telling me to not break that promise.

It's...hard to explain without making myself look like a effing gullible idiot. But I guess it was more that I'm too nice...I wanted to believe they would eventually wake the hell up.

Hard to explain through shouts I guess.

But...there's an angry, hurt, traumatized part of me that hopes that they're in emotional AND physical pain just out of pure rage and feeling of betrayal, but then there's the part of me that still has a conscience and feels guilty and is hoping that they have found peace from what caused them to hurt others in the first place.

That is the honestly....the kindest thing that anyone from this site has said to me in 10 years. Lol.

You know, the last thing I remember from here was that someone has laughed at my nephew's name, saying that he was white trash right after he was born?

He died when he was 20 weeks old from an extremely rre genetic disease that he was born with. In fact, someone here since the re-launch of the site, helped me through viewing his funeral that was live-streamed. Though, she may not remember it was me.

My best friend and her (the person in question) were pretty damn shaken up after the service and the aforementioned persona and I, didn't speak much again...

Yeah I sort of recall that name..
I only joined in 2007/2008 so I basically kept myself to myself (other than being fruity at times) all in jest I may add.

Omg you poor buga(sorry it's my way of speaking)

You know I talk to so many people on and offline. I hear so many harrowing stories which sound unbelievable. In my heart I actually believe your telling the truth.
I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear about the kind of life you have had and still having.
If you was here now I would give you a big hug.
What's happened in the past as defined you as a much stronger person and for that I am glad.
Mental health is such a taboo subject but I value your input as I'm sure others will do to.😊

Awww, f*u*ck it. It's not like I care about their "feelings" anymore. They clearly didn't give a crap about mine. If you remember a usr here back in the day named "Pae", thats' who I'm talking about.

Like, they really tried to pretend to "hide" that they were Adam Sandler (BADLY), I was feeling so damn brainwashed and emotionally invested that I went along with it...but I felt like CRAP for doing so. There was stuff I could tell you about their true self that could almost shock/scare almost ANY member here from the old site.

Seriously. I sometimes look back and wonder if I was in a Hollywood psychopathic thriller it seemed so scripted. And half of it wasn't even MEANT to look that way.

slams head against wall Sorry, I mistook you for Soco from some reason - I recall her saying something about them being from Ohio. The a-hole I'm speaking of is from Ohio.

As for the prison part - it was actually just juvenile detention for 7 weeks when I was 17. Lol. I was arrested and locked up for "arson" when I tried to attempt suicide by setting myself alight. I wasn't officially convicted though. At the time, I was a ward of the state (legal term for "foster kid") and was homeless because I kept circulating through foster care placements. The state had nowhere else to put me after the hospital refused to take my suicide attempt seriously - so I was placed under arrest and put into juvie. That was honestly the last time I have EVER had a negative run-in with the law.

I haven't exactly had an "easy" life. But I've worked with what I've been given. Things are a little bit better now these days, apart from my mental illnesses. Which are being managed with medication and doctors. I'm doing much better than my parents did, anyway. Lol.

Flipping eck now I'm lost for words..

The reason I thought you had it hard,you said you've been in prison. I assumed you was male because of this.
And in my area😮 I hope not.

Sorry for the essay, and for the oddly bold text. The formatting on the new site's code is weird compared to what I'm used to on other forums, and I sadly have a tendency to write more than I should probably say.

My apologies. I'll try to keep my ramblings to a minimum. I get "wordy" when I'm passionate/frustrated.

Well, it's kind of difficult to explain - the person introduced me to this site, but they were um.... an a-hole as it turned out? That's the best way I can describe it without going into too much detail. (shouts can be read by everyone, and I am still paranoid the person in question may find me after I cut contact with them in 2009)

I loved the site, please don't get me wrong. But some psycho (Mera) caused a lot of issues, and because of the ABOVE a-hole (which shockingly was NOT Mera (although, it would not surprise me if they were her too) I was accused of being untruthful and a "fake" as well. I was untruthful about some things...I'll admit. and I have GROWN from that, and am even willing to come clean about those things. HOWEVER, 99% of what people knew about me was true, but because of me being sucked in by "Mera" or whatever the hell that psycho's name was, and the other person (who I will not name, because unfortunately for you...they are in your area as far as I know)'s lies (they tried to make people believe they were Adam Sandler (and that's not even HALF of the bull-s*it they told me in private!) I was accused of being the SAME person as either one of them, or both of them.

Long story short (as much as it can be shortened):

Their crap had other members of the site turn against me, because of THEIR mistakes/intentional a-holery - to the point that some of the "regulars" thought that they and I were the same person....even though we were (and still are) in two different countries!

I had hoped I made my profile pretty vague for security reasons :O What part of it made you think that I had had it hard!? Not that I'm angry/upset. It's been almost 10 years, and I am beginning to heal from my PTSD from last time, but I'm just curious. Was the snark too much? Lol. I didn't mean it to be. I truly love the people here...even the regulars who accuse me of untrue things (not that I ever had the guts to explain myself last time...I just assumed they wouldn't listen even if I tried), I guess in a way, I thought I was trying to be vague, but funny. Did I miss the mark?

No need to apologize, and you're NOT incorrect, I *AM female. Lol. I just may somehow come across as...not. You're not the first person to make that mistake, actually. Lol. One of the people I represent on my blog, still refers to me as "brother" after 7 years, and thinks that I'm non-white. Lol.

I also thought you was female,sorry.😊

Sorry did you say this site almost destroyed your life?
Or the person almost destroyed your life?
Either way, I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Life does have its ups and downs I know.
And after reading your profile I imagine you have had it pretty hard.

Your welcome.😊

I don't know what to say to that, actually.

My replies are actually based on a person who actually introduced me to this site...and it almost destroyed my life. Lol.

So, my more recent advice is from harsh personal experience. But...if it helps and it can prevent someone from going through hell like I did..then no matter how many memories it brings up, I am more than glad to help.

In which case; I hope I could help in some way, in any way at all. Thank you.

You give great replies.😊