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43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I had a bad panic attack with my therapist and now I don’t feel safe.

She is trying exposure therapy with me. She wanted me to pretend a chair was my rapist and I freaked out. I started screaming and was crying and curling into a ball. Since then I feel terrified. All the progress I made pushing down the memories have surface and I hate everything. I’m supposed to see her again in a week and I don’t want to talk anymore. I want to shut out the world

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Since writing this post music=life may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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feel, world, talk, anymore, shut
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last online: 11/12, 21:32
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Anonymous
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(34 minutes after post)
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Since when did screaming, crying and curling up into a little ball solve anything?

No one is supposed to forget the bad things that have happened to them - you remember those things in order to make you wiser and stronger.
When your therapist asked you to pretend the chair was your rapist, you do realize it's only a chair and the environment around you is a controlled setting....? How can you not feel safe?

There comes a point when we can actually become victims of ourselves. But, if you don't want to talk about it and shut out the world, you actually have that option - and none of it requires one bit of strength, wisdom or maturity from you.

My opinion? Go back to your therapist and give her a break - pretend the chair is your rapist and get the point she is trying to make. Keep rational. If the excircise doesn't seem to work, then tell her but be prepared to tell her why - don't just serve her up a tangled ball of emotions.

All in all, I'm sorry to hear that you were a victim, but you're not powerless.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
Original Poster
music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
Verified User (6 years, 7 months)
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(9 hours after post)
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I have tried several times to talk about this on here and the only advice ive gotten is "brush it off", "suck it up", "rub some dirt in it". I AM DONE. I thought of all places here people may understand but this is ridiculous.

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