Me: I'm bored as hell, maybe I can think about something interesting.

My Brain: brings up something absolutely cringe worthy embarrassing I did 15 years ago.

Me: Ok ok damn brain STFU, I won't involve you anymore damn.

The cradle rocks above an abyss, and common sense tells us that our existence is but a brief crack of light between two eternities of darkness.

Vladimir Nabokov

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all barriers within yourself that you have built against it” ~ Rumi

Toxic relationships come in all forms and can be detrimental in so many ways, but they also offer the greatest opportunity for growth and learning. It’s within the mindset of growth that we can begin to navigate and resolve relationship toxicity issues in order to release and move on. This can be a very difficult thing to accomplish since the toxicity is much like a drop of ink that spoils the entire well, leaving a cellular toxicity, much like an allergic reaction, to this kind of abusive relationship. The poisoning of the well leaves us feeling “tainted” and eventually leaves behind a continuous cycle of grief in the emotions of denial, bargaining, anger, and pain – a cycle that can never lead to the Acceptance we seek in the form of Unconditional Love.

In the big picture, no one has “permission” to bring toxicity into our energy field unless we allow it. However, sometimes the toxicity sets in on a cellular level when this kind of relationship is born in childhood, before we have earliest memories or have even learned to communicate in some cases. It can become a challenge, learning to separate one’s own “energy” from the energy of the poisonous relationship, so it’s important to have insight into how to let go and/or navigate the relationship in a new and different way.

If one has never experienced Unconditional Love on an energetic level then one can become easily fooled into thinking they have found “love”, but oftentimes find it to be quite the opposite leaving behind a feeling of guilt or shame or fear, coupled with a feeling of being “unlovable”. This becomes especially apparent when one has suffered from some sort of abuse in childhood and never experienced the emotion of Unconditional Love. How can one know if we’ve truly found something we’ve never experienced?

Our relationships are a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves – our own Self Worth – and when we vacillate between toxicity and “love” we truly find ourselves in an unhealthy situation. The toxicity shows up in the form of hostility, aggression, conflicts, quarrels, judgement, and criticism among other things. The Clarity that we tend to find in these type of relationships typically comes in the form of the negativity it brings rather than a Positive, Loving outcome. Like a junkie seeking heroin, we find ourselves in an addictive situation alternating between the high when things are going well and the low when the ****shit hits the fan.

Many times we finds ourselves trying to “fix” and/or communicate with the other person, all while defending oneself against the “judgement” the relationship brings on – both judgement from the other person and judgement of Self for being in that situation in the first place. Usually both parties who participate in these relationships bring a great deal of emotional deflection and projection, meaning that they project their emotions onto the other person when these emotions are actually coming from Self. This pattern is ironic as they typically also deflect or are in denial of the very emotions they are projecting onto the other person. It’s a truly ruthless cycle to break.

These relationships are indeed a great distraction from focusing on Self and finding the painfully missing piece one lacks withIN. One has to be willing to seek awareness of and identify with their own patterns, in order to Heal and become Whole. We have to remember that there are other addictions besides “substances”, and just because it’s familiar doesn’t mean it’s good for us.
It Starts Within

Forgiveness is key in any relationship that has had turmoil or is “ending”. However, just because we have found the Art of Forgiveness doesn’t necessarily mean we can continue to indulge in the relationship without being vulnerable, much like mixing oil and vinegar. First, we have to recognize that which we are bringing to the table and learn to separate it from what the other person is bringing. Next, we have to realize that we are ALL worthy of Unconditional Love, and if the relationship is energetically toxic we may have no other choice but to walk away with Love and Gratitude in our Hearts.

The key is a deep understanding that sometimes we don’t get to have the relationships we were always hoping for with certain people in our Lives, but we experience them for a reason.

In order to manifest Unconditional Love into our Lives we have to be willing to receive it, no matter what form it takes. Frequently, when we cannot make a relationship work the way we want, we tend to think of the relationship and ourselves as having “failed” at Love. This is just a matter of perspective and can be shifted if we Allow ourselves to release all conditions and expectations in the relationship, while looking at the relationship as an opportunity to remove the blocks that keep us from finding Unconditional Love, specifically in the form we are looking for.

Everything we seek to find can be found withIN so it’s important to create boundaries, both energetically and otherwise. Remember, no ONE can hurt you emotionally without your permission so it’s essential to separate oneself with Intention. This can be done by declaring to Self that this person no longer has your permission to speak or act a certain way since they do not have your best interests at Heart; this declaration should also be done on a Spiritual level and/or in meditation etc.

Intending a separation of energy is crucial because the way the toxicity presents itself is usually a very chronic process whereas our Awareness of the situation becomes clouded slowly. This is confusing because although the relationship tends to start off as seemingly Happy it progressively becomes unmanageable, leaving one wondering when and where things went “wrong”. This is precisely the reason why continuing to indulge one’s SELF in the negativity cannot possibly bring the Loving relationship that you seek.

In the Art of Bushido a true “warrior” is asked to find Gratitude when a weakness is exposed, as it gives them an Opportunity to reinforce their armor, if you will. A toxic relationship is where we find the same kind of opportunity for Gratitude and Growth. But we must remove our own energy from the energy of the poisonous interaction, and change it, in order to release the ties that bind.

as Ernest Hemingway wrote during a Gnostic mood in A Farewell to Arms:

The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.

In the Divine Invasion, Phillip K. Dick encapsulates the plight of humanity and the Aeon Sophia when describing the defeat of the fallen angel, Belial, who “lay broken everywhere, vast and lovely and destroyed. In pieces, like damaged light.”

If you want to understand the bible's knowledge better, you have to look at it in context of the original story.
When you read the bible. Read it as YOU ARE GOD.
That is the most important part to understand.
Jesus is the positive in you. (I am him and he is me)
Satan is the negative in you.

Every day Jesus and Satan battle. You make decisions all day long, either positive or negative.
These decisions create your eternity. Time does not exist. Everything is external. Time is just a concept.

If you continuously make positive decisions, you will be surrounded by positivity and love. A life full of Love, happiness and positivity is Heaven.

If you continuously make negative decisions, you will be surrounded by negativity and hate. A life full of hate, anger and negativity is Hell.

It is your decision which one you want to live in.

Some people enjoy living in Hell. That is their personal choice.

I personally choose positive and enjoy living in heaven.

This is everything.
Thats the whole story wrapped up in a few paragraphs.
Thats all the wars we fight. Thats all our problems. Thats all the decisions we make, just deciding what Eternity we want to live in.

Your eternity will be judged by GOD. (You)

You are God. You are the judge if you are living the life you want or not.
Only God can judge me. (Only you can judge you).

I am not a Christian. I am not Religious.
I am God.
And so are you.

It’s the little ****shit in life that seems to get us. Like Morpheus said in The Matrix: “It’s like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.” And these events don’t seem at all like an accident.

The car won’t start.
You seem to catch every bloody red light.
You need five departments at work to sign off on your order for print cartridges.
The customer service representative of your cable company is oblivious after you spend an hour trying to connect.

Between bureaucracy and a faulty system, you can feel your soul dimming, your mind numbing, and your heroic side perishing. You become forgetful and anxious, a Stockholm Syndrome victim to a passive aggressive kismet.

Think of the works of Franz Kafka. Think of Terri Gilliam’s Brazil. Think of the next time you have a good idea at work. Think of negotiating with the IRS, experiencing Microsoft updates (software!), or family holiday parties where being comfortable numb is truly the closest you feel to Heaven.

It’s not truly Heaven, but that’s the game the Archons play. Anyone can get used to fire after a billion years in Hell. Anyone can get comfortable with extinction in a Richard Dawkins paradigm. But even Buddha can't handle the local DMV.

Tesseracts

i had a dream i lived in some multiverse universe where i was a repairman and slipped in and out of different universes and dimensions almost like the internet on this planet except i could take my body with me when i jumped from one plane to another, it was very dmt like and extraordinary. i went from planes of existence where life was silicon based to ones similar to our carbon based life forms, imagine an internet where you are the browser. there was one dimension where all the life forms were these cube like structures and when they moved around, fractals appeared and reappeared all around them in some neon like shapes, the cube beings were alive and when they reproduced, whole new universes came into being. some of the dimensions had these odd like alien beings built out of crystals and they spoke in hieroglyphs similar to ancient Egyptian. i had access to them all because i was the repairman.

now afterwards when i woke up i did some research into this because i was astounded at my dream, half of it is very hard to describe. but my sleuthing made me more convinced what i experienced was not just a dream but some out of body astral travel experience.

The underlying structure of most things in the universe appears to be cube or grid like. This appears to be how the universe creates order on a primordial abstract level. The fractal cube process and the unfolding of it, is how the universe expands. The process of fractal squares provides the framework for how the golden spiral or vortex is created. The process of cube outward unfolding/expansion is a masculine process, where as the female is that of inward curved contraction. The life code blueprint of biological beings, DNA follows the golden spiral geometry in a 3-dimensional helical like fashion.

GoldenRatio

Fractal cubes are a hallmark of psychedelic trips and are often seen in incredible complexity by those taking Ayahuasca, DMT, LSD and magic mushrooms. Often they appear alive like with vitality and are in continuous motion. Cubes or as Seth refers to them as “consciousness units” are the smallest indivisible units of the universe. Everything is constructed from these primordial cubes which he refers to also as “mental enclosures”. Each cube signifies a unit of consciousness and is often symbolically represented as an eye signifying awareness and sentience. The cubes then stack together to form shapes much like building blocks or legos are used to construct increasingly more complex things.

The cubes represent the primary substrate of the universe the stuff the material universe such as atoms and molecules are made up of. Physical reality thus is an emergent property of these cubes or consciousness units. The material universe then can be considered a secondary phenomenon. The primary gestalt exists in a hyperdimensional counterspace, where the secondary is what we perceive in “space”.

The important thing to understand is that cubes can also exist within other cubes as Russian dolls exist one within the other. The layers of onion is another good way to think about it. However, each layer then can also represent a whole other reality or level of complexity.

The cubes form a matrix like tapestry and greater tapestries can be considered planes. People who have gone astral travelling often report each plane or dimension looking grid like in the following way.

In psychdeilc visionary art such as that of Alex Grey the fractal squares represent entire universes and form the substrate or tapestry of grander shapes in a self-mirroring like fashion. This ties in with the quantum mechanics concept of infinite parallel universes.

In the brain neurons are layered in a grid-like fashion with neuron pathways traversing at 90 degrees relative to one another and not diagonally as what was commonly thought. The grid matrix structure underlies the entire geometry of the universe.

———–

The following are excerpts from the Early Sessions of the Seth Material that expand on the concept of cubes providing the framework for fundamental reality.

“As far as fifth dimension is concerned, I have said it is space. I will have to try to build up the image of structure to help you understand, but then I must rip out the structure because there is none there.

Consider then a network of wires somewhat like, although different from, Jane’s conception of idea construction – a maze of interlocking wires endlessly constructed, so that looking through them there would seem to be no beginning or end. Your plane could be likened to a small position between four very spindly and thin wires, and my plane could be likened to the small position in the neighboring wires on the other side. Yet not only are we on different sides of the same wires, but we are at the same time either above or below, according to your viewpoint, and if you consider the wires as forming cubes – this is for you, Joseph, with your love of images – then the cubes could also fit one within the other without disturbing the inhabitants of either cube one iota; and these cubes are also within cubes, which are themselves within cubes, and I am speaking now of only the small particle of space taken up by your plane and mine.

Again now think merely in terms of your plane, bounded by its small spindly set of wires, and my plane on the other side. These as I have said have also boundless solidarity and depth, yet in usual circumstances to one side the other is transparent. You cannot see through, but the two planes move through each other constantly.

I hope you see what I have done here. I have initiated the idea of motion, for true transparency is not the ability to see through but to move through. This is what I mean by fifth dimension. Now, remove the structure of the wires and cubes. Things behave as though the wires and cubes were there, but these were only constructions necessary even to those on my plane in order to make things consistent with the senses we happen to have at a particular time. I have more senses, so to speak, in operating use that is, then you have, because not only am I aware of my own plane but of yours and other parallel planes, even though I myself have not existed in some of those parallel universes.

———-

cubes abstract“If you will perhaps consider again our wires and mazes, I have said if you’ll excuse the brief reminder, that these imaginary wires are composed of solidified vitality. They are the living stuff of the universe even as they form its boundaries and seem to divide it into labyrinthian ways, like the inside of a honeycomb.

The planes within the tiny wires, that is the planes formed by the connections and interconnections of our imaginary wires, come into the sphere of each different plane and take on the form inherent in the plane itself. Therefore these wires, if we may use a small analogy, will grow thick or thin, or change color completely, like some chameleon-like animal constantly camouflaging its true appearance by taking on the outward manifestations of each neighboring forest territory. Then too, the inhabitants of any particular plane are chameleonlike, animallike. Solidified vitality wires do not look like boundaries or divisions. They appear exactly of the same type as the other materializations on that particular plane.”

———

This is quite an undertaking in itself. The other numberless existence quadrants…, …will not concern you for quite some time. Needless to say I wanted you to know that there is much more than even this, complexities that are truly astounding, intelligences that operate in what I suppose you would call a gestalt fashion, building blocks of vitalities of truly unbelievable maturity, awareness and comprehension. These are the near ultimate.

The framework is so woven that each particle is dependent upon every other. The strength of one adds strength to all. The weakness of one weakens the whole. The energy of one recreates the whole. The striving of one increases the potentiality of everything that is, and this places great responsibility upon every consciousness.

I would even advise a double reading of the above sentence for it is a keystone and a vital one. Rising to challenges is a basis for existence in every aspect of existence. It is the developer of all abilities and at the risk of being trite, it is the responsibility of even the most minute particle of consciousness to use its own abilities, and all of its abilities to the utmost. Upon the degree to which this is done rests the power and coherence of everything that is.”

————

MC Escher Stairs“You cannot have so-called objective experiments when you are surrounded by and dealing with, and intertwined with, the elements of the camouflage universe. You are, or scientists are, working within what may be described as one small cube within literally millions of somewhat similar though different cubes, the cubes aII representing various camouflage universes.

If they were ever lucky enough to pierce through their own cube, which is doubtful, they would merely discover the cube nearest to them, without ever Imagining that there were literally numberless such cubes. A small portion of the spacious present appears in your cube but you see it in camouflage terms of continuity, in camouflage waves of past, present and future.

Like rats in mazes, with luck you could theoretically travel from one cube or maze to another, though practically this is impossible. But even if your experiments gave you knowledge of many of these camouflage cube universes, you would learn little of the basic uncamouflaged inner universe, where all such divisions disappear.”

———

“The consciousness always comes first, representing individualized, extremely potent bits of energy that compose the basic or inner universe. They materialize upon your plane, forming their blocks of construction. The creation that causes the whole to be more than the sum of its parts is merely the inner identities, the bulk of this consciousness not able to fully materialize upon the physical plane. In other words, no consciousness fully materializes upon the physical plane.

———

“Nothing but the various stages of consciousness separates dimensions.

Other systems exist within the same space occupied by your own, but you cannot perceive them.

You can conceive of a fourth-dimensional cube, for example, but you cannot conceive of a fourth-dimensional thinking process. You cannot conceive of a fourth-dimensional psychological structure. You cannot think in fourth-dimensional terms. You cannot use fourth-dimensional imagination.

No thought has been given to the personality structure as it exists in a fourth-dimensional reality, or in a fifth-dimensional reality, and yet a fourth or fifth-dimensional personality structure contains the most important hints of all.

In each dimension, the inner self begins to handle further aspects of reality. The primary personality must therefore deal with a much larger number of perceptions while still maintaining its identity. It manipulates in a larger number of dimensions until it is able to handle many, not just one, of its own egos at any given “time” while still maintaining its own inner stability and individuality. It takes on more roles and the psychological structure becomes more complicated as the inner self becomes sure enough of itself to admit ever more stimuli while still retaining it own core.

‘This materials is as important as any I have given you, and we shall be concerned for a while with personality structures as they exist within other dimensions