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Wil
last online: 06/03, 2:59
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I'm just a little bit sad.

I've been friends with this woman who is heaven-sent. We have compatibility to the nines, and we have intimacy. But what we don't have is passion.

That's a great foundation for a friendship, except I want a relationship with her. I want to spend all my time with her, support her. I don't want to see her involved with another guy.

I know that passion can grow or spring up unexpectedly, but its not healthy for me to be waiting for the uncertain, so I need to put her behind me.

I can't change anything about this scenario, but maybe if you all were willing to share similar experiences and suggesting ways I could think about it differently, that would be a help.

Thank you

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Since writing this post Wil may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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ways, experiences, passion, differently, suggesting
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Wil edited this post .

I'm just a little bit sad.¬ ¬ I've been friends with this woman who is heaven-sent. We have compatibility to the nines, and we have intimacy. But what we don't have is passion.¬ ¬ That's a great foundation for a friendship, except I want a relationship with her. I want to spend all my time with her, support her. I don't want to see her involved with another guy.¬ ¬ I know that passion can grow or spring up unexpectedly, but its not healthy for me to be waiting for the uncertaintyuncertain, so I need to put her behind me.¬ ¬ I can't change anything about this scenario, but maybe if you all were willing to share similar experiences and suggesting ways I could think about it differently, that would be a help.¬ ¬ Thank you

Anonymous
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(33 minutes after post)
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I am actually in a very similar situation. My recent wife and I have great compatibility, great teamwork, and we are awesome partners in every way. However, we aren't deeply intimate or passionate towards each other.
There are obvious issues there, but ultimately, you need to do what makes you happy. Can she make you happy, despite the lack of passion? If so, why not give it a go? Are you a deeply passionate person and you need that type of connection? You may want to find somebody else.

We've been together for 7 years now. I don't really have the need for passion, she does a bit, but it's not something that's deeply necessary for her. We're still close, we're still happy. Our relationship is more of a "team" than a cute, lovey-dovey couple that's always holding hands making people uncomfortable with their PDA. Not saying there is anything wrong with that, it's just a different type of relationship.

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Wil
last online: 06/03, 2:59
Verified User (6 years, 4 months)
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(53 minutes after post)
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Anonymous wrote:
I am actually in a very similar situation... it's just a different type of relationship.

I think that's great that you're okay with that. I think people can run around forever chasing a perfect fairytale ending, or they can recognise the people in life that make them happy and count them as a blessing.

We've talked about it together and she doesn't want to try force anything. She's open to it if it natural evolves from our friendship but in her mind if it's not there, there's no sense trying. I'm on a different page in that respect.

I'm just sad because I've never met anyone I've had so much in common with and it seems cruel that fate would give us all the necessary ingredients for a fulfilling relationship, but deprive us that one crucial ingredient that could kick it off.

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous
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(56 minutes after post)
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Of course. I wish you the best of luck!
Try not to get hung up on it- I actually agree with her. If one thing leads to another, great! If it doesn't, then that's okay, too. Like you said- recognize that this person makes you happy and count her as a blessing in your life as a great friend, regardless of anything else that comes of it.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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(2 hours after post)
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Tell her. Girls like honesty especially with guys.

Happy earth
smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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(4 hours after post)
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Surprise her with a romantic date?

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(13 hours after post)
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You mention that you have all the desirable elements in the relationship except 'passion.' I'm going to take the liberty and assume she is the one lacking the passion.
-------

Wil wrote:
She's open to it if it naturally evolves from our friendship but in her mind if it's not there, there's no sense trying. I'm on a different page in that respect.

You're screwed and it's time to go - ASAP. She has subscribed to a view that is mentally lazy. Relationships need work because they don't just magically adjust themselves. But, a person who bases their relationships soly on "feelings" isn't going to make you a priority due to the fact they're "not feeling you."
Which is fine....however, they're too greedy to end the relationship with you - basically they have no honor to value what they "feel."
No. They like the benefit you bring to the table but at the same time can't wait to "someday" meet a person they feel passionate about. So, no matter what YOU bring to the table and the quality, it will never be good enough.
Meanwhile, you're a second-rate person who loses the first place trophy as you run a winning race against....no one....
Stop letting her use you.
Get out and find someone who IS passionate about you.

A
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