Where are you, Yeti?

Hope all is okay

I'm pessimistic, I suppose. But I have TONS of hope. My life theory is to plan for the worst and hope for/strive for the best.

Sounds like you live in an area that is pretty safe from natural disasters.

Yeah, I try to tell them about the strain of the sports. My daughter's ankles and feet are always injured. My oldest son damaged his foot/ankle pretty badly in soccer. I told him that he will feel those injuries later. I skied ve ry frequently from the time I was 9 or 10 until I was 32. I would come off the slopes with my knees aching...and ignore it. In my late 30's, I had my first knee surgery. 2nd one is upcoming...

Youngest wants to be a banker to make a lot of money so that he can have a big house so that I can come live with him when I'm old <3. He'll change his mind in his teen years :)

It was tragic to work that job. I think about many of the cases to this day. And there are a few victims/children who I "follow" in a sense that I know people who know them and feel compelled to ask about them often.

Math and programming are great things to be talented in :) The most important place to make a difference IS your own small circle.

Victims stay with their abusers often. They CAUSED some of the fighting...of course in training, we learned that a woman (typical vic) would nudge the violence out of their SO so that they could get it over with. IDK. Also, in the judicial system, I saw the SYSTEM fail. Many victims were underserved. Many were catered to. And, the worst of all is that I saw many GUILTY PEOPLE who were acquitted and who walked free. And I saw at least one person who was imprisoned and who was not...as guilty as charged. Maybe not innocent of everything, but not guilty of most of the most serious charges. The system is sort of broken.

Another "victim" had an affair. When her husb came home, she gloated about it and laughed in his face, etc. He slapped her. He went to jail. Not really fair, imo. What's a man (or woman) to do in that moment? I don't condone violence, but...he spent years in prison for that.

I don't like commemmorating my bdays either :)

But...the alternative to getting older...is NOT. And one of the girls who was in my cohort for my master's degree just passed away a few days ago. She was only 36. So, even though I don't wanna be the "old woman" I'm becoming, I'm glad I'm alive :)

I've once looked up the list of recessions, and found it peculiar that those in the last ~70yrs have been relatively short and resulted in minor ***gdp declines (percentage wise), compared to the 19th century. It's a bit disconcerting. My father's always anticipating some sort of cataclysmic economic event, which is mayhap a tad overly pessimistic.

I find it preferable, not having to take such dangers into account; always preparing for the worst case scenario as is. We're in the subtropical zone and separated from the oceans on all sides, and there's only the mostly inactive great rift valley engendering unnoticeable earthquakes periodically. The latest "disaster" was 4yrs ago, when it snowed in the mountainous region more heavily than the past 50yrs or so, and a large city was closed off for the weekend with makeshift shelters due to inadequate snow plows, a flock of curious visitors without snow tires whose vehicles became stranded along the narrow roads, and various lack of preparation. I alone showed up for work that day (mother deemed it unwise), outside of the city's residents, and left in the middle to catch the first bus available after ~2-3hrs wait since none going in my direction showed up. City was closed ~2hrs later.

Nurse, huh. That'd be good, methinks. My aunt with her ~20yrs experience is quite knowledgeable with regard to medical practices, whereas I can't say I've met any exceedingly helpful doctors. Hopefully they're aware of how physically strained sports such as these tend to end abruptly with a permanent injury, and take their alternative route seriously simultaneously.
Happy birthday to her, then. Did she celebrate a "sweet 16" or somesuch?

I never really had a clue of it either. What does he enjoy doing, and excel at?

Hum, I wonder what he's planning to buy with all that money.

Quite the tragic tales. I don't think it's conceited to deem this work as one of your most meaningful. These kids don't have a role model for the most part, nor support, so gravity would take its natural course without a strong aspiration.
I've never been very talented at aught but math & programming, nor the least bit charismatic, so to be a lodestar for anyone would be the fantasy of a fool. Nevertheless, I try to make a small difference for my circle, where possible.
7 years is really something, to observe all this darkness on a daily basis.

Not sure I follow; By this, you mean the victims' conduct was betimes unlawful or immoral?

Per tradition, baked a cake and decorated it. Put a favourite symbol on it, was a tad messy. Otherwise, I don't much like commemorating it. 27, although for a while had the notion it was 28. Am the most absent minded mathematician I know.

Yeah, I'm hoping to beat the stagnation and/or loss with real estate. I think it will be okay...but nobody has a crystal ball. I also have investments in various other avenues, but not a lot...

Natural disasters rarely affect this area of the nation. There was a tornado five miles from us that leveled a neighborhood in 2009. But that was relatively rare, I think. We have hail damage here, and that's about the extent of it. I have had broken windows from hail damage, and roofs don't last their touted "30 years..." but insurance HELPS pay for a roof replacement if incurred from hail damage.

I think many insurance companies leave people out in the cold during some storms. I've heard such stories, anyway.

I have a son who is 17. He wants to be a nurse. Or a professional soccer player. But he broke his foot in a game a week ago, so he's out for the rest of the season...

My daughter just turned 16 on 9/30. She wants to dance professionally and/or travel the world

My next son is 13. He doesn't know what he wants to be yet.

My 6 year old son wants to be a "banker, so he can get millions of dollars."

I've heard that about the certain types of wealthy bankers who control it all....

When I worked as a vic advocate and a diversion officer, I saw the sad instance of families who were involved in bad situations....and it was their kids who were usually in the diversion program. Not always, but most families who had violence in the home had kids on diversion.

One boy I had...he was maybe 14. His dad had been in prison for beating mom since he was a baby. His dad was just about to be released from prison. The kid would come to my office and cry; did not want dad to come home. After dad came home, some of the local cops came and reported to me that they picked the kid up walking the streets at night and when they took him home, he couldn't get in the house because the door was barred with furniture. When they went in through the garage, a whole slew of undesirables were doing crack, having ***sex, etc. Less than 6 months after dad got out of prison, the boy was found dead on the side of the road on the way out of town. He'd drunk himself into alcohol poisoning/aspiration of vomit/etc. Alone. Soooo sad

Another kid I had was driving drunk and went off the road and killed herself.

List goes on and on and on....

I saw some really bad stuff when I had that job. People in horrible conditions.

Many of the youth WANTED redemption, as did their parents. Some of them were able to achieve that; some weren't. Biggest determining factor was parents being involved. Or sometimes, it really seemed like I could connect to the kids and help them get going in life. I might just think highly of myself, but of all the things I've done in my life, I think that the most noble, for lack of a better word, was the ability I had to influence some of those kids into better lives.

I would get kids' grades. When they were doing at least average in school, I would call mom or dad in with kid for a meeting and would make it a requirement that they spend a day together as part of their contract. I explained that grades were very important, but that the relationships that they built were more important. Many parents did not want to do it.

And, a very interesting fact: I had cookies and/or snacks for the kids when they would check in with me. 99% of the girls would NOT eat. Delving further, I discovered that ALL of these girls had body image issues. I worked with kids between ages 10-17, and that is a sad, sad thing. I did the job for 7 years, and out of all the kids I saw, ONE GIRL did not have body image issues.

As far as the victim advocate part of the job...I'm sort of mixed about that one. I think it's a very complex thing and hard to get into. But it might not be all bad to have victims lean on parents and family for support in lieu of the court system. The vic part of the job is a really, really complicated situation and very few of the cases were black and white. There were so many gray areas....ugh.

Did you do anything special for your bday? How old are you now? I hope your day was special :)

Thanks.

Well, it beats stagnation or losing money over time, as might incur other investments without careful micromanagement.

I guess that doesn't sound so bad. What about natural disasters - tornadoes, typhoons and the less notorious ones - got that sort of thing covered adequately, does the coverage tend to fall into purgatory?

How old are your kids? Have you got a sense of the sort of occupational preferences they have by now?

I just threw a number when I said decade; no idea how long it is in practice, but it's probably the same as elsewhere.
Imagine a place serving as a haven for the entire world's prosecuted bankers, and you've got an idea of what it's like here. :)
('fcourse I jest, but policy does tend to be mandated either based on religion or copied from the usa / uk, ostensibly.)

Guess that's one reason we had / have helpcom, to vent anent these ill defined little vexations.

Victim advocate, huh. Don't think we have those around here - victims are at the mercy of the court & constabulary (or lack thereof), supported by their own family, friends, psychologists & lawyers, and must find determination within.
As for juvenile diversion, what did you make of it? I presume you were mostly in contact with the youths who sought reformation / redemption, but were you affected by seeing & listening to the troubled lives they lead?

First off...Happy Birthday!

I'm hoping that my old age income is secured in the same way. We have 4 rental properties; and the house we are in now will also be one, as we move to another house. The difference is...our houses get MORE pricey with each move. But...the market is also steadily climbing upward, so with each house, renters pay the mortgage/taxes/insurance...we gain equity in something that is increasing in value, so...hopefully it works out in the end

Yep, the houses here are built of wood. With a concrete foundation. In my hometown, the old houses built in the early to mid 1900's had "mudsill" foundations. It was wood and dirt and straw placed directly on the ground and then the house was built on top of that. Many of those old houses are leaning and the floors "roll" when you walk on them.

But houses built after about 1960 seem to be pretty sturdy, with good foundations.

I have not had a lot of expense with the repair of wooden homes. I think it may be because I live in a dry climate. I do hear about the moister climates like Florida, having a lot more "rot."

I also do not think that there will be a pension system in the near future. The houses that we have now will hopefully make life easier for our kids. Because wages sure don't keep up with the cost of things in this area....

It does seem like it's a bit "hoaxy" for the housing where you are. But having a housing debt for a decade is nothing. Here, our houses have 30 year mortgages, typically...

I can teach any level; so it's not the teaching that is bothersome with the kids. I suppose it's as you say: there's always some friction when in constant contact...It's not really that bad, though. For the most part, they are great kids.

I worked with the victims during the trials that were going on. As a victim advocate.
In my job before kids, I was a Victim Advocate; and also a Juvenile Diversion Officer, which is sort of like a probation officer for kids, but it's IN LIEU OF court. If they completed the Juvenile Diversion requirements that I came up with, they would be able to avoid the court process and having a court record, etc. If they failed the JD program, I would refer the case to the District Attorney (whose office I worked in) and they would be charged with their crimes, officially

Father oft stated that his income is secured through this dwelling, renting out and moving to a cheaper country. Personally I haven't much faith in the pension system, kinda dubious it'll still be there in 40yrs.
There's always some amount of friction when in constant contact with someone. Are you particularly agitated by having to explain in their level of understanding, or behaviour?

As it happens, father mentioned the other day houses in the usa are usually built of wood, in contrast to the block standard here, so deterioration is a serious factor. Have you experienced such major renovation - is it a costly or troublesome process?

Admittedly, haven't heard of that bombing, but from a few numbers it seems to have been quite severe. PTSD therapy?

It's ~127 months (100 - 187) to acquire a dwelling. Vehicles oft leased through the workplace (at employee's expense).
Amongst the bourgeoisie, some seem to embrace a hedonistic lifestyle; couples are eligible for a governmental raffle of significant discount in new projects (which seems like a big hoax to me, as most winners have been waiting ~6yrs and those who got anything, complained of quality cutbacks matching the discount); enslave themselves to debt for a decade or two; emigrate; hop betwixt rentals; stay with the family.

That all aside, how do young people make it and have a place of their own with those sorts of real estate prices? Do the wages match the cost of living?

My own patience with the kids and the fact that I am not doing anything to secure my old age income by staying at home being a private tutor to my kids....

I think houses and real estate are going to go up in price here, but surely not that high. I would be happy if my house (built in 2017, 3500 square feet, 6 bedrooms) goes up to $600k sometime before it needs major renovations. (I will sell if it does go up that high rather quickly)

I have a BA in psychology; an AA in criminology; an AA in nursing (basically just an "aide" position); and an MA in education.

I worked with the victims of the Oklahoma Bombing of the Murrah Building in 1995; not long term.

Or "temporally wholesome".

How come? Are you concerned it might be inadequate, or with your own skill / forbearance, or summat?

Yep, that's the 2 room median. For 5-6 rooms with <200 square meters, it's more like $1.5 - 2m. Only place where you might find a large patch of land (to rent for 99yrs) and more reasonable prices is the desert half.

I've been told before how part time doesn't really reduce the expenditure in practice (though half considered it as manipulative statements). Optimally, I'd prefer ~8hrs a day and the weekend off, akin to the european ways, and <1hr travel time each way.
What did you study & work in?

Yes, full time job for several years. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep on doing it.

$500k is horrible for an apartment! I don't pay that much for a house with 3500 square feet and 6 bedrooms!

I got my master's degree 14 years after my bachelor's. And it took me 7 years to get my bachelor's since I just went PT and worked FT....

Well seasoned :) That's a good way to put it, I suppose... :)

Ah, isn't that basically a full time job for several years?

That's quite the investment in realestate. Around here, without some sponsorship program or another, the smallest apartments start around $500k. Father's owned one for a long time; it has involved quite a bit of work, repairs every few months (he's highly opposed to handyman expenditure unless required) and years when residents leave. But yeah, says it's a worthwhile investment in the long run.

Aw, you're not old, just well seasoned. And you have the kids keeping you busy, better than some boss who appreciates naught more than the bottom line.

I figured, since I wasn't studying for a master's degree specifically, that a larger gap would raise eyebrows, without any reliable upside. 'fcourse, my parents have been saying that since day 1 (or earlier), but I'm hopelessly rigid with certain plans of action.

Yes, I teach them....

No, buying a house isn't counterproductive. It will be a rental or we will sell when we move abroad. We currently own five houses.
Housing prices are going up, up, up. Yep, would still have a mortgage, but would hire a property manager while we are gone and would deal with incoming and outgoing money online.

I'm sorry it's hard to find employment. I think I'm going to run into that issue, too, when I'm ready to work. Nobody wants to hire an older woman...

Hopefully you are able to get a job soon

Why only completed studies to some extent?

Homeschooling? Do you teach them?
Eh, wouldn't buying a house be counterproductive for that purpose - mortgage & such commitments?

Completed studies to some extent, actively seeking employment. It's proving more difficult than it should be.

Things are good. Just seems to be a busy life lately....

Doing a lot of homeschool stuff for the kids; buying a house....even thinking about moving abroad in a couple years (or maybe 3...)lol

How have you been?

Hope all is good for you

Hello, miss jelly.

You've been away quite some time. How are things?