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pinocchiothepuppet2
last online: 08/03, 5:00
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Feeling like I need large amounts of morphine right now...

It's been a while since I visited this site. I was pleased to see some folks are still here and say they're doing fine. So what are you doing that I'm not? lol

I'm more sick of life than I ever have been. How r u even coping?

Feeling like I wish I knew where to get large amounts of morphine actually..

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pinocchiothepuppet2 edited this post .

Feeling like I need large amounts of morphine right now...¬ ¬ It's been a while since I visited this site. I was pleased to see some folks are still here and say they're doing fine. So what are you doing that I'm not? lol¬ ¬ I'm more sick of life than I ever have been.¬ ¬ . How r u even coping?¬ ¬ Feeling like I wish I knew where to get large amounts of morphine actually..

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last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1675048002" title="Jan 30, 2023 3:06">Jan 30, 2023 3:06</time>
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(4 hours after post)
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I don't think taking a very strong and addictive drug will help. Probably would just make things worse.

I know why things are good for me. As i have gotten older my autonomy has increased. I like being able to do what I want and i have hobbies that make me happy. If not for those i would probably feel a lot more empty.

Help me with:

So i like beans.

75971 10152125729463961 180579742 n
(4 hours after post)
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I'm out in the mountains just outside of Osoyoos, in my RV with my 2 Mexican street rescue pups (Tato & Miel), living on less than 1/2 of the poverty line on PWD (disability).. & reasonably happy, even tho my dad just died. IMHO opinion, opiates are NOT a good way to deal with problems unless it's for severe pain & even THAT should be temporary or as a last resort. Living the life of a rubbertramp for the last 36 yrs I've met many who have gone the route of hard drugs & it's pretty ugly.

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(4 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:
I don't think taking a very strong and addictive drug will help. Probably would just make things worse.

I know why things are good for me. As i have gotten older my autonomy has increased. I like being able to do what I want and i have hobbies that make me happy. If not for those i would probably feel a lot more empty.

I dunno think about it, if you take enough of it there would be no need for any help anymore at all lol..

So how did you get there?
I have a hobby or two too at least, though success nor contentment with life is a prerequisite to enjoy them. In other words they're not casual trips cross country on the private jet to sample coffee at the most famous coffee shop in the nation for the heck of it, no - much closer to the opposite extreme from that in fact. But how did you reach a point where you felt you could do a lot more of what you wanted?

Sadly I've gotten older too. Perhaps even more sadly, I've noticed increased resistance to any goals I may have ever had, rather than any increase in autonomy. At this point I have actually less than what I started with both materialistically and well, anything else too. Seems as if a collective effort to sabotage such efforts. So much so, that if I were the conspiracy theory type, I'd really wonder by this point who is screwing with me.

So I wonder what's so different about you than me?

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(4 hours after post)
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BigWilly! wrote:
I'm out in the mountains just outside of Osoyoos, in my RV with my 2 Mexican street rescue pups (Tato & Miel), living on less than 1/2 of the poverty line on PWD (disability).. & reasonably happy, even tho my dad just died. IMHO opinion, opiates are NOT a good way to deal with problems unless it's for severe pain & even THAT should be temporary or as a last resort. Living the life of a rubbertramp for the last 36 yrs I've met many who have gone the route of hard drugs & it's pretty ugly.

I had to Google Osoyoos because I'm stupid I guess, and I didn't know wth a rubber tramp is either. I do now though thanks to you and Google!

How is that by the way? I've wondered before what it'd be like to be able to just put your house in drive and drive away whenever you feel like it. It has to feel a little more free?

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(22 hours after post)
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pinocchiothepuppet2 wrote:


I had to Google Osoyoos because I'm stupid I guess, and I didn't know wth a rubber tramp is either. I do now though thanks to you and Google!

How is that by the way? I've wondered before what it'd be like to be able to just put your house in drive and drive away whenever you feel like it. It has to feel a little more free?

I've been living this lifestyle for abt 30 yrs & find it much better than being in the rat race & throwing away my money on rent. There's a LOT less stress to deal with & have million dollar views for the price of gas to get there. Over the years, especially during/after covid, I've seen more & more people hitting the road & living like I do. The freedom IS there &, unlike living in a stix n brix, if I don't like my neighbors it's a simple matter to fire up the pig n go somewhere else.

20181121 142229
(5 days after post)
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Hi, I wonder, would you say you might be suffering from depression? Or is it just a general unhappiness? Are there people who love you in your life/who you love?

pinocchiothepuppet2 wrote:
Seems as if a collective effort to sabotage such efforts.

What do you mean by this?

My only motivation to keep going was my daughter. And we have been through a LOT! Now she's all grown up, and does not need me any more (well, most of the time), I do struggle to find joy in life overall.

I do have hobbies that make me very happy temporarily while I'm doing them. I have friends that make me happy. I like my job, if only it paid more.. But overall, since my daughter stopped needing me, I feel kind of empty. I am not depressed, perhaps sad, but I still keep going.

I have done lots of work on myself over the years, psychological, spiritual, emotional, physical etc, you name it, I likely have done it. The God thing kept me going for quite some time until it went all disastrously wrong and now I am longing for that closeness with the Creator, but can't find it again..

I do hope you will find that positive motivation to keep going and finding true joy. Drugs may be a temporary solution; I have never tried, but have friends who have, and they have spent years and years in treatment/meetings to help them stay away from drugs, and sadly have lots of health issues as a consequence. So, you might like to think of a solution in a long run?

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(1 week after post)
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Cregyn wrote:

pinocchiothepuppet2 wrote:
Seems as if a collective effort to sabotage such efforts.

What do you mean by this?

It means I can't trust anyone. No matter what I do, there's always some c*nt blocking me.

20181121 142229
(3 weeks after post)
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pinocchiothepuppet2 wrote:

Cregyn wrote:

pinocchiothepuppet2 wrote:
Seems as if a collective effort to sabotage such efforts.

What do you mean by this?

It means I can't trust anyone. No matter what I do, there's always some c*nt blocking me.

Sorry for late reply. I think I understand your frustration. I know quite a few people who you would call 'unlucky', and there does not seem to be anything that they can do to break this 'curse'. Most of them suffered quite severe trauma in their childhood..

My theory is that if this trauma was somehow resolved, then the 'curse' would be broken. However, that is easier said than done.. I myself don't know what exactly needs to be done, but I do have hope and keep trying. And I have hope for you, too. x

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