I used to feel like my life had been a big lie. I used to feel that people had lied that they had loved me all my life when really they didn't. (I later understood that i was wrong)
I felt so deeply hurt. I wished to move away from family and tell no one where I was going.
I had said this to my mam too I think.
Later my grandma called me and told her this. She said but u will tell me though won't u? I said no. She cried.. I can't remember how I reacted to her with my words but I do remember that it switched my emotions back on and I cried so much then. Because I knew I was hurting someone who I loved.
It made me feel unsure of what i was doing.
- writtenA very long time I away I used to feel... similar to u.
In the fact that I also wanted to isolate myself away from all the world including my family.
When I remember about how I used to feel... it sort of gives me possible insight as to how you might feel.
I think you might feel almost numb. Either feeling anger and resentment or nothing at all.
I think you have cried many tears from hurt u have endured. U feel u have tried everything. Nothing has ever worked.and maybe u feel crying doesn't help. It doesn't fix anything and instead to protect yourself maybe you have surrounded yourself with a mental shield to stop anyone entering into what you feel and your experiences.
Perhaps u may also feel that if u shared your experiences that u may think others wud not understand or may even judge u and hurt u more.
I learn that feeling angry and pretending that we are not hurting inside can sort of protect us temporarily.
I think u have a lot of buried emotions. Perhaps you may even feel apathetic or derealization.
And to let those emotions out would be very hard for you.
You must have been through an awful time.
I'm sorry for whatever hardships you have been through to make u feel this way
- writtenI'm not saying that everyone who has made you feel this way has lacked capacity. But I was merely throwing out possibilities because you haven't shared your own experiences with us yet.
So I mentioned this as a generalised possiblity.
- writtenAnonymous wrote:
Jetmoo wrote:
Peoples mental health or cognition can also alter how we interpret others and express ourselves.Someone with poor cognition may be unaware of how they are being perceived.
Someone with a mental illness may be confused between what is real and what is not.
Someone with lack of capacity can’t always be responsible for their own behaviour.
But also, we do not always know what others are going through. We don’t always know what is going through people’s heads. Not unless they tell us. And only if they’re telling the truth. And only if they have not forgotten pieces of information or told it in the right order. People can be very misunderstood.
I am not in any way condoning the behaviour of how you have been treated or what you have seen, as I don’t know. But sharing food for thought. - trying to help.
LOL if you're chalking my experiences up to just running into a slower than average being I must tell you, if this were the case, almost everyone I've ever met slipped through the cracks and somehow skipped the hospital. Or got away from their guardian. These people need to be on motherfucking child safety wrist bracelets and leashes and never ever allowed to go outside alone again.
Psychology's standards have gotten lower because these people shouldn't be let out of their hospital rooms.
But sadly, they are allowed to walk around this place presuming they are not retarded treating other people in very retarded ways and acting like it's ok. But the fact is if there were enough people who weren't retarded walking around out there, we would have enough people pointing out their ******fucked up behavior and send them back to the hospital. Now we see it happen and most people just relate.
This is a ******fucked up people.I could isolate myself in a room, insist on bothering no one, and still someone would come to ****fuck up my life. All of you are *******fucking sick.
I am convinced by this point that those around me are acting *******fucking retarded on purpose though. I'm not fooled. It just makes me hate you more.
So thanks for trying to explain it. I'm not sure there is a real way to make me understand why everyone's doctors let these crazy retarded people walk around while allowing them to believe they're healthy.
All jokes aside though most other human beings are selfish assholes.
And our culture is set up to encourage being a selfish asshole.
Because it was created by selfish assholes.
Philosophy aside though, it's just sick.
I don't really like the word retard...
And for people who have mental health problems who are being unsupported or have lack of support, it's not their faults.
I know someone who has been trying to get the child mental health support but there is no funding for beds in mental hospital.
But to me it all comes back to the government since they decide where the money goes. And I dint believe the government is run in a way that would support mental health in society.
- written"I believe I know how to leave other people alone enough to not accidentally hurt them. Don't you?? o.O"
I'd like to think so. I never like hurting people. If I am aware I am hurting people then I'd feel terribly bad about it. And say sorry.
What gets me is when people do not say sorry. I do not understand why. It sometimes seems like they don't want to admit that they're imperfect.
But no one is perfect. But having the decency to aplogise for hurting someone is.. (brain fog)... respectable?
I respect someone who admits their flaws or mistakes or what can be perceived as such.
- writtenSome humans are liars that is true. But I think if we are all honest with ourselves I think we could all think of times where we have been dishonest at least one time or another.
Although those who are in powerful positions I believe should be held more accountable for their dishonesty.
Not sure what to do with that one though.
It would mean those with less power would have to unite and stand up for what they believe in. But people are often too busy arguing with each other to realise that together they could achieve a lot more.
- writtenAnonymous wrote:
Jetmoo wrote:
I CAN tell you that no one in this world is perfect and none of us ever will be, including yourself. Even those who wish to do their best at being kind people, it is very hard and impossible to achieve all the time.There will always be someone out there who makes us feel hurt.
Sometimes that hurt is intended. Sometimes it is not.
Some do not understand how their actions affect others.
People are individuals and have their own minds and ways of thinking. We have all had our own unique experiences that shape us into the people we are today and the choices we make in life and how we treat others.There can be many reasons for why someone behaves in a hurtful way.
For example, people believe that we should treat others how we want to be treated. But this is not always true. Not everyone wants to be treated how we do. Someone with autism may not want a hug.
Someone who has never been bullied and always been popular may not know how it feels to be bullied, so might find it funny.
Someone who is deaf may not appreciate a comedy on tv mocking a deaf person for comedy.
Some people’s life experiences alter how we perceive the world around us.
Please tell us yours.
I can get a joke. I don't think they're funny anymore. But I understand the difference between a joke and a real insult. It's not jokes that offend me.
It's just usually the piece of ****shit telling the joke. Not because of the joke.
And sure sometimes it's an offensive joke, but I realize it's a joke and not a testament to someone's true feelings about a matter.Do you know most humans are bullshit artist liars more than jokers anyway though?
This is very serious though. I'm seriously taking steps to figure out how to get away from most everyone else. I can't stand any of you. I don't have friends and not sure I ever did. I'm tolerating my family. None of my posts here are about blame really either, cause I don't know what's up. It could be me. It's probably me. You all think you're normal and okay but I see offensive bullshit that makes me hate you all.That's probably me. But it's still a truth.
People think talking about ****shit helps it doesn't. Solutions to the problems would help solve the problems. No amount of talking here or anywhere else provides solutions though. We're in a world we have to buy those.
I totally understand with the solutions part. Sometimes we are not seeking empathy and understanding but solutions to our problems.
I don't think "normal" exists. I think we are all unique in our own way.
I think that it would be hard for me to judge most people as I don't know everyone. And I don't know everyone well. I wouldn't be able to understand them as people and be able to make that judgement.
But one thing I heard goes a bit like this.-
people are mostly good.
That's not what I'm hearing.
Gunshots ate louder than love.
Much negativity is shown on media and often not the good things.
So who knows what the real reality is?
Those in control of the media are biased. And authorities can even be dishonest.
- writtenSome of the words I can't make out but goodness me that voice and emotion. Severe M.E has stolen her voice and she has not sung in years.
I wish I could make out the words that I can't make out
- writtenHere is one of her songs that she sung before she became severely unwell. Her voice is so so powerful and so beautiful it makes me cry.
And to think that soon this girl is likely to die. Yet saying good bye isn't exactly the right thing to do.
I can relate to this song so much when my M.E has been most severe.
There is a lot of stigma on mental illness. This is the voice of a girl with one before her M.E got much worse. Worse than mine.
Listen to this.. and tell me that this is not beautiful.
How can I just pretend that she isn't there suffering? How can I over look her. Yet what can I do?
- writtenMetaphorical, sounds interesting but I can’t figure it out.
Poems, open to interpretation 😊
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