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Maybe I asked this before.

Nix wrote:

verge wrote:
That was me. I had a weird hang up about learning to drive, failed the test at least twice. I told people it was because I had a near accident (I did) and shouldn’t we all be more afraid of driving giant death machines around when one out of any three people in the USA are likely to get injured or killed in a motor vehicle accident?! But really I think it was the pressure. My parents really wanted me to learn and at the same time couldn’t be in the car with me without flipping out and stressing me out so much I would make a mistake. I eventually asked my sister if she could teach me and she did and I passed and have been driving for years, no accidents. Anyway, just being there and occasionally encouraging her to get in the drivers seat in a positive enthusiastic way (never a stressed and angry way) may eventually pay off.

Ive had a license for 6ish years now and still cant drive with my parents in the car. I feel like my dads hand hovers above the handbrake and it freaks me out.

When I passed my test that’s how I felt with my (ex) partner in the car, he was panicky telling me what to do. He was distracting for me. Yet later on im pleased he was there.

But I’m not very well and maybe you Lanos partner is not unwell.

I used to find spacial awareness abit hard. When a lorry was coming forwards on their side of the road I used to feel unsure whether I was too close to the middle line of the road or too close to the curb and getting the balance right was hard for me.

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Maybe I asked this before.

soco wrote:
If you truly truly believe you know what's best for her than start by boning up on psychology books. Read cover to cover. Than you two talk. Get her to open up as to the pin point reason or reasons she doesn't want to drive. It's a mental block that needs to be dealt with in the living room, not behind the wheel of a 6 ton weapon of death and destruction.

I think that’s good thinking.

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Maybe I asked this before.

I think it’s easier to not learn with your loved one whether partner or dad or mam ect. I think it’s better with an instructor. Cos they’re not allowed to get angry at u 😅 they have to be real patient. And if they aren’t then you find a different one.

With family, it’s easy for them to get frustrated and can make the person learning very flustered.

My first instructor wasn’t as good. But my second one when he retired, was really patient with me. He was sooo good.

I’ve had a few near misses, probably more due to my becoming unwell.. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but when in the car....my concentration was bad and if it weren’t for my partner telling me to slow down cos there was a reflector light bouncing back at us ahead of us in the dark... I didn’t understand what the light was... and he told me it was a bike and slow down. So I did. But my brain didn’t put the pieces together. I decided it wasn’t safe for me to drive again.

Im not sure if my story bares any relevance, but u asked about our stories too so...

One time I misinterpreted the speed a lorry was coming, it was speeding ridiculously in a 30 zone.. I thought I could beat it at the cross road and it just say missed us and if my partner hadn’t said GO GO GO!!!!! Then it would have killed my partner, trashed the car and I would have been a mess too. I felt ill...... my partner almost died. Like no. I’m not doing this again! But that lorry must have been going about 60 or more in a 30 zone and it was coming head on at 4 way cross roads so was hard to tell the speed it was going. It should have slowed down at the cross roads especially but it didn’t.

It’s not just the fear of us doing something wrong but the others too. I used to want to have a mother bike. But now I’ve changed my mind. So so dangerous.

People get way over confident over time and think they’re invincible le. My mam being one of them. I’m scared being in car with him. I don’t like being in car with risk takers.

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Maybe I asked this before.

I didn’t have a trauma, (I just saw bit of comment above. )But when I made a mistake I would hold on to it rather than let it go. Each mistake would chip away at confidence and build up and less to more and more mistakes making more unconfident..

The harder i tried not to make mistakes and do everything perfectly the more mistakes i wud make.

It’s the ability to relax and release the self criticism of the mistakes and to remember, it’s ok to make mistakes whilst you are learning. That’s what learning is all about. Make the mistakes whilst the person is with u to help u learn from the mistakes so u get more experience.

I think an instructor is better than someone not instructor. Cos we can pick up others bad habits. When people get the licence they get more confident until so confident enough to bend the rules and feel safe doing it.

Which puts others at risk sometimes. .......

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Maybe I asked this before.

I don’t drive anymore. I was a nervous driver but I had a really patient instructor and he used to try and tell me breath and relax cos the more tensed and anxious you are the more mistakes you make.


..I’m sorry but my brains conked out.. I was gonna say more ....

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Maybe I asked this before.

Do you not have driving instructors over there?

When one goes for a test is there no pedals and stuff on the other side of the car just incase?

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Maybe I asked this before.

Has she passed her theory? And hazard perception test?

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Maybe I asked this before.

Having instructor with their own car for her to learn in. So they would deal with possible damage, if any.

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Maybe I asked this before.

Driving instructor with their own pedals on their side. Are there instructors with a steer wheel on their side too? To take over if needed. A security blanket

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Professionals don’t believe I need help.

Speech and language therapist

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