I dunno....
Judging by the way some people get out of bed, I sometimes feel they should issue licenses just to operate a pair shoes.

Driving instructor with their own pedals on their side. Are there instructors with a steer wheel on their side too? To take over if needed. A security blanket

Having instructor with their own car for her to learn in. So they would deal with possible damage, if any.

Has she passed her theory? And hazard perception test?

Do you not have driving instructors over there?

When one goes for a test is there no pedals and stuff on the other side of the car just incase?

Yep, thats me to some extent. My sister in law to a mega extent.

i do drive but only really to places i know, and i really have to force myself. even though when im driving its really not that bad, unless idk where im going, then i panic.

my SIL doesnt drive at all, she started learning on quiet roads in sweden and i think she had an incident that freaked her out and she stopped. since being in UK she has said she wants to learn to drive, even though the roads are mega busy.

i think for her she just recognised that she and my brother both need learn to drive, they currently live in the city but are thinking of moving to the burbs so they would need to drive for work.

and its the same for me, i just recognise that i have to get over it otherwise i wont be able to travel the country for work on competitions.

dont pressure her. ask if she would like to go somewhere quiet for a test drive, i used a park car park after hours which was fab. and maybe remind her that a driving instructor wont press her to do anything she is not ready for. the first lesson is usually a back street getting used to gears (if its not auto) and the instructor will have control

no steering wheel that i know of, but they are able to grab the drivers wheel if needed

Yes, your girlfriend needs help.
The help she needs is above your pay grade, Lano.

Forcing her to get behind the wheel and take control is not the answer. It will likely just terrify her more.
There are perfectly sane people walking on this planet that don't drive. They survive their life just fine. Don't force your girlfriend into something she just doesn't wish to do.
If it bothers you that much, I suggest getting a new girlfriend. One that is capable to living up to your expectations.

I don’t drive anymore. I was a nervous driver but I had a really patient instructor and he used to try and tell me breath and relax cos the more tensed and anxious you are the more mistakes you make.

..I’m sorry but my brains conked out.. I was gonna say more ....

I didn’t have a trauma, (I just saw bit of comment above. )But when I made a mistake I would hold on to it rather than let it go. Each mistake would chip away at confidence and build up and less to more and more mistakes making more unconfident..

The harder i tried not to make mistakes and do everything perfectly the more mistakes i wud make.

It’s the ability to relax and release the self criticism of the mistakes and to remember, it’s ok to make mistakes whilst you are learning. That’s what learning is all about. Make the mistakes whilst the person is with u to help u learn from the mistakes so u get more experience.

I think an instructor is better than someone not instructor. Cos we can pick up others bad habits. When people get the licence they get more confident until so confident enough to bend the rules and feel safe doing it.

Which puts others at risk sometimes. .......

That was me. I had a weird hang up about learning to drive, failed the test at least twice. I told people it was because I had a near accident (I did) and shouldn’t we all be more afraid of driving giant death machines around when one out of any three people in the USA are likely to get injured or killed in a motor vehicle accident?! But really I think it was the pressure. My parents really wanted me to learn and at the same time couldn’t be in the car with me without flipping out and stressing me out so much I would make a mistake. I eventually asked my sister if she could teach me and she did and I passed and have been driving for years, no accidents. Anyway, just being there and occasionally encouraging her to get in the drivers seat in a positive enthusiastic way (never a stressed and angry way) may eventually pay off.

Ive had a license for 6ish years now and still cant drive with my parents in the car. I feel like my dads hand hovers above the handbrake and it freaks me out.

Yes, that is my daughter. And mostly it is my fault. She had an instructor and got on with it at a veeery slow pace, but then me made her drive my car under my supervision and the first time she JUST stall the car on a junction and began crying instead of drivning and that was it. After that she never ever wanted to drive.. It's been two years since the incident. Really would like her to learn to drive as well. Hope you will find a solution for your girlfriend.

If you truly truly believe you know what's best for her than start by boning up on psychology books. Read cover to cover. Than you two talk. Get her to open up as to the pin point reason or reasons she doesn't want to drive. It's a mental block that needs to be dealt with in the living room, not behind the wheel of a 6 ton weapon of death and destruction.

im not kidding with this.. but riding a bike with training wheels would be a good start.

I think it’s easier to not learn with your loved one whether partner or dad or mam ect. I think it’s better with an instructor. Cos they’re not allowed to get angry at u 😅 they have to be real patient. And if they aren’t then you find a different one.

With family, it’s easy for them to get frustrated and can make the person learning very flustered.

My first instructor wasn’t as good. But my second one when he retired, was really patient with me. He was sooo good.

I’ve had a few near misses, probably more due to my becoming unwell.. I didn’t understand what was happening at the time, but when in the car....my concentration was bad and if it weren’t for my partner telling me to slow down cos there was a reflector light bouncing back at us ahead of us in the dark... I didn’t understand what the light was... and he told me it was a bike and slow down. So I did. But my brain didn’t put the pieces together. I decided it wasn’t safe for me to drive again.

Im not sure if my story bares any relevance, but u asked about our stories too so...

One time I misinterpreted the speed a lorry was coming, it was speeding ridiculously in a 30 zone.. I thought I could beat it at the cross road and it just say missed us and if my partner hadn’t said GO GO GO!!!!! Then it would have killed my partner, trashed the car and I would have been a mess too. I felt ill...... my partner almost died. Like no. I’m not doing this again! But that lorry must have been going about 60 or more in a 30 zone and it was coming head on at 4 way cross roads so was hard to tell the speed it was going. It should have slowed down at the cross roads especially but it didn’t.

It’s not just the fear of us doing something wrong but the others too. I used to want to have a mother bike. But now I’ve changed my mind. So so dangerous.

People get way over confident over time and think they’re invincible le. My mam being one of them. I’m scared being in car with him. I don’t like being in car with risk takers.

I think that’s good thinking.

When I passed my test that’s how I felt with my (ex) partner in the car, he was panicky telling me what to do. He was distracting for me. Yet later on im pleased he was there.

But I’m not very well and maybe you Lanos partner is not unwell.

I used to find spacial awareness abit hard. When a lorry was coming forwards on their side of the road I used to feel unsure whether I was too close to the middle line of the road or too close to the curb and getting the balance right was hard for me.

Lano, this might sound silly to ask, but have you tried to sit down with her with a cup of tea together nice and calmly and to just ask her how she feels about driving and asking her what makes her feel so uncomfortable.

Just allowing her to talk about it.

Without any pressure.

Tell her your happy to listen to her concerns and how much you love her.

And to say, how do you feel about driving? Do you think it would be good for you? How do think it would make your life better? Do you think it would give more freedom for you? Do you think it would make you happier to have that freedom? And listening to her responses, and trying to understand. perhaps holding off saying how you feel about it, just incase it makes her close up to talking about it or possibly leading to a bit of a misunderstanding.

Saying I love you and I want you to be happy and to help you achieve whatever you want to achieve in life. Then, perhaps saying, I think it would be really good for you too (AFTER you have listened to her point of view)

And asking her, would you like my support with this? (Just incase she doesn’t. She might think it would be good for her, but she might not want to do it.) is there anything I can do to support you? Is there anything I can do to help you?

And telling her, I do not want to make you feel pressured in any way. Even if you are not ready (if she says she would like to learn but isn’t resdy) I am here for when you are. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable in anyway.

If you become unsure at any time of how to respond to her answers, then try hard not to allow it to show through any frustration (I know u love her, we can all get frustrated at loved ones by accident though) and say, I’m not sure right now but I’d like time to think about it cos I really want to be there for you. Is that ok? And give her a big reassuring cuddle and a smile ☺️

Oh I'm this person for sure. I actually failed my driver's ed class in high school because I had a panic attack while driving the car. My best friend is gonna help me though. I'm studying the manual and she's gonna take me to take the written to get my permit and then she's actually gonna help me learn how to drive. I'm not really as scared about it as I used to be. I think it's maybe just growth and my meds tbh and a friend who understands me and knows how to work around my quirks.

I used to be a driving instructor and my mom owns a driving school. I personally hated teaching adult students for the very reason that they were always so afraid like your girlfriend. Teens, even when they’re afraid, get past it.

My mom does great with adults, though. And the students she has taken behind the wheel have passed every time. She can even license adults now (DMV certified). It’s a pricey program though ($300-$400 I think).

I would do some research and find an instructor in the area that teaches adults. To quote Nelson Mandela, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

Driving is very dangerous. If someone is scared to drive honor that. I wouldnt challenge it. There are way too many drivers and there are other ways to get around. I use A bike to travel.