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ShoutTrail: Aria and PepperJ

Just a simple "Hello", "Thanks", or chat! Back to PepperJ's profile...

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PepperJ
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Aw, I love rainbows too :)Thank you so much, but the credit goes to Big Al because he made it the spinning thingy avatar :)

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Aria
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Just wanted to give you a shout to say that your animated avatar is sincerely memorizing. I just want to get lost in it for hours. But then... I am possibly abnormally obsessed with rainbows, so that could just be me.

Either way, I love it. :)

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PepperJ
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Not nonsense at all. I feel for you, lady. You've been through the ringer. You're amazing to be where you are now

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Aria
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You're a twin mom???

Me too!

(I will warn, I'm about to divulge some...not so "happy" stuff).

When I was 15, I was going to meet up with a friend. I was attacked at knife-point. Skipping the obvious horrible details, I became pregnant. Turned out to be twins.

The eldest passed at birth, with the cord wrapped around her neck. The youngest, was killed in a car accident 11 months later - just a week and three days before her and her sister's first birthday.

At the time of her loss, I was pregnant again (I was almost 17) from a date ****rape - of someone that some of my own family members are still friends with (which is more hurtful that I can explain). At around 3 months, I was on the streets, homeless, and I had a fall. I lost the baby, which I then found out was a boy.

And then, there's the stuff I talked about in the post that led to my relapse.

To this day, at almost 32, I still haven't had consensual intercourse. I have trust issues because of it. It also turns out that I may have PCOS - my cycle has been irregular since I was a teen. I expected it to "normalize" naturally, but it never has. So in addition...I may be infertile.

Thank you though, for willing to understand my story and putting up with my barrage of nonsense.

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PepperJ
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n.a.u.g.h.t.y is un acceptable, as well ;)

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PepperJ
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p.r.e.g.n.a.n.t is apparently a naughty word :)

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PepperJ
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That was an amazing story and I'm very proud and happy that you have been getting better!

I don't know how I have not been an addict. When I was 5 years old, I coughed constantly due to asthma. It pissed my dad off, so my mom begged the doctor to do something.

From 5 through my late teens, she would give me pure codeine tablets. So that I would stop coughing.

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I have also had several miscarriages in my life. I've been pregnant 12 times and 4...possibly 5 of those times, I was pregnant with twins. I suppose I'm "prone" to twins, but my body can't carry them to term. I was 6 months pregnant once when twins died in utero.

That aside, I do have 4 wonderful children and my life is blessed, but I do know how painful miscarriage can be; I feel for you and my heart aches for you

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After all is said and done....YOU are doing VERY WELL and I'm happy that you have made it this far; rooting for you to continue doing well and getting better and better....

Another thing and FYI...I didn't have my first baby til I was 30; had my 4th at 41.

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Aria
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https://www.facebook.com/amy.vanoosten/posts/10...

That is the link to a post I did in September - the anniversary of my one year clean. Yes, it's on my Facebook and it's public. I decided a while back that I had nothing of myself to hide, so almost all of my posts are public on my profile now.

(And yes, you can feel free to send me a request if you like, but you don't have to. :) ) There is another post that talks a little about why I left Help the last time too - just before it was closed. Which explains why I didn't keep in touch via "helptogo" or other means.

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PepperJ
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Yes, for sure

Favidbowiepic
Aria
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May I show you something?

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PepperJ
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Yes, I think the longer you have good days, the less easy it is to slip into a bad one....

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Aria
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Indeed! I sometimes wonder on my bad days if I'll win the war, though. But thankfully, I'm having less bad days now than I used to.

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PepperJ
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Well, you are winning the battle, and that's what matters

Favidbowiepic
Aria
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Thank you! It's definitely been a battle uphill, but each day counts.

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PepperJ
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Ooooh, so scary.

Congrats on your year of clean though. Keep up the good fight :)

Favidbowiepic
Aria
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That does ring a bell, I think. But I don't think we spoke much.

And yes, I've been clean for just over a year now. I had an OD that almost turned fatal from liver failure.

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PepperJ
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No woorries
I was actually Pepperjelly, and that site was big... hard to remember everyone. And toward the end, I wasnt there much.

Im sorry to hear about your relapse. Are you better now?

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Aria
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Some days I feel 50. Lol.

Thank you! I must admit that my memory is not what it used to be, and I do not remember you. My life took a nasty turn in the last decade and I fell into a bad drug relapse. So some of my memories are gone.

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PepperJ
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Ah, sorry ๐Ÿ˜‚

But you are still young! Regardless, good to see you back!

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Aria
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I was about 22/23 when I first joined. not a teen. I turn 32 next year. Lol.

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PepperJ
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Hi there, I'm pretty sure I remember you from the days of yore... weren't you a teen in the old help days?

Hope all is well with you now and glad to see you back!

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