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What causes are you concerned about today?

Is this a trick question?

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:) How are you all?

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Post closed, thank you for your help

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PepperJ's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
Iโ€™ve been stuck here for such a long time I donโ€™t think I will ever get out.

Having money is far less important if you have support. I'm sorry you don't have support.

As far as having nothing.... maybe try to find something positive that you have...

Since becoming a mom, I have often felt that same "what's the point...."I feel like I need to contribute to society as a whole... and I'm feeling more and more incompetent for that.

So, I've decided to "bloom where I'm planted" and to try to change my little corner of the world and be positive. Maybe you could do that, too? It's a mindset shift. Being happy for what you have and where you are versus trying to make a bang....

- written - voted for by BIG.AL.ONE, DocteurRalph, smiley
I'm so glad to see this site I thought it was gone forever !!!!

aeolian wrote:
The maturity of the helpers on help is astounding. Freak faceboik and its millenial vibe of selfies. This is real down to earth homies with real personalties

I would have to agree. We've all grown a little and learned a little.

I have looked and looked and looked over the years for a site where people could TALK. And where there might be fun innuendo/flirting, but NO PERVING. I was on a site where that stuff was minimal (perv stuff), but there was no substance to it....nobody actually DISCUSSED issues, lives, current events, hopes, dreams. There is no "family" feeling there, like there is here

So, yeah, as someone up there ^^^^^ said, I can gush and gush about this site :)Finally found a safe place to call home and where we can all get reacquainted.

And, I do have fb...but fb is sort of a love/hate relationship. In some instances, it's the only way I can keep up with some of my loved ones (sadly that it's not PERSONAL upkeeping of the relationship and it has deteriorated to online)...and on fb, everything seems to be overly optimistic and full of "fake success..." I mean...I KNOW those people who post about their perfect lives...and it's not at all as they make people believe ;)

One of my best friends moved to Hawaii and another to California. It's been 3-4 years now, and it broke my heart to have them move so far away. I have not developed or nurtured close female relationships since...and I miss that. You all on Help, though, is kinda like a bff ;)

- written - voted for by ๐•อคอญอฅฬ‡๐•–๐•ฅ๐•šใ€‚(Yeti.), Ameliorate, soco
Post resolved

Merry Christmas, Anon!

I have to say that sometimes I don't get back to people on fb. Sometimes I don't text people back in a timely manner. Sometimes I don't call people back as soon as I should.

It's not at all a reflection on how I feel about those people waiting to hear from me.

Rather, it's a reflection of what a hectic, crazy life I lead and sometimes I don't have time.

Better yet: sometimes I DO have time, but I would prefer to take a nap. Or nurse a headache. Or eat. Or play dinosaurs with my son....

- written - voted for by Araz, BIG.AL.ONE
Do you think stay at home moms are lazy?

I feel the same.... I brought in good money before kids and I was somewhat "accomplished." We would not have done it if I had not alteady purchased 2 homes prior to marriage. Obviously we lived in one and continued to have the other rented out for maybe a year. When I sold that home, I made a nice profit that took care of about a year of my income, so that made me feel better about my "contribution."
And....being a SAHM meant that there were no work conflicts when my 2nd was born and was in NICU for 8 wks and had serious health issues for her first 2 years. I COULD give my all to her and not worry about losing a job.
When my mom fell and broke her leg, since I wasn't working, I was free to go to her house and cook and clean for her.
When my Granny broke her hip and had surgery and then had bladder surgery, I was able to go to her house and cook and clean for her... and to drive her to phys therapy, etc
When my Grandpa started to get dementia, and my Grandma was overwhelmed, I was able to go and relieve her one day a week (this was very hard because at this time, I had 2 in diapers and one potty trained...but gpa was also in diapers and he would yell and scream, scaring my kids.... but thank God I was able to help her out)
When my friend's PTSD got so bad....I was able to be there
When my husb tore his bicep and had surgery....I was able to take care of everything without having to worry about a job...
Kids' tonsillectomies, doc appts, sporting events, activities, recitals, sick days, broken arms, dentist appts, etc.... didn't have to take "paid time off...."
I get up most mornings before everyone and make breakfast. Dinner is usually home made and healthy vs slapped together junk.
Many, many friends (and even people who were strangers) have had snags in their lives and jobs caused issues with life... I've been that friend to pick up their sick kids from school, etc
Also.. I have volunteered extensively and have my kids volunteer too. We do soup kitchens, I have tutored people in shelters to help them get their GEDs etc.

Being a SAHM makes me feel like I'm "not contributing" at times... and society sometimes sees SAHMs as useless... but we do have a role, if we do it right ๐Ÿ˜Ž

- written - voted for by Araz, Rockster160
Last post before I go back into hiding.

Hey Aeolian, welcome back. Don't go into hiding again :'(

What are you proud of?

As for me, kind of a "hum drum" life. I'm proud of being a mom and my kids make my life happy.

- written - voted for by verge
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once a black person said to me, you were born white, that's like winning the lottery, i thought about it and said to them, i didn't get the money.

smiley wrote:
He was being dismissive of your hardships. Some people can only see their own problems.

Historically in America, poor white folks have had more in common with poor black folks than with rich white folks, but nobody likes to talk about that. Better to keep us divided.

^^^Truth

- written
Let's talk about victim shaming.

Anonymous wrote:
Too common. I don't know one woman who hasn't suffered sexual abuse or harassment.

Every single woman I know has suffered abuse, not "just" harassment (but ALSO harassment). Abuse may not be (but could be) ****rape, but it is definite violation and/or pain. ie: rough fondling to try to get what "he" wants...

Every. single. One.

And, some have encountered violations more than once in their lives, depending on the types of lifestyles they led or the types of childhoods they led.

NOT to say that someone's lifestyle means it's okay to abuse her. Just saying that sometimes, in certain lifestyles, risk factors are higher.

I guess I take back my original statement. My 16 year old daughter has not been abused. But I am an extremely over protective parent...don't take that the wrong way...they (kids) still do all that they want to do...

Anyway, my daughter DID experience some things in public school. In 3rd grade, a boy put the bathroom pass on her desk and grabbed her arm and pulled her to the bathroom. Same boy a year later, along with a group of friends, continually pulled girls' pants down and put their hands up girls' shirts on the playground. There was one girl who was my daughter's friend. This girl was very well developed at an early age. This girl would receive notes in her desk/backpack, talking about the things that boys wanted to do to her. The girl would cry when she got the notes, which made my daughter very sad...and of course, all of that stuff had to then be explained to my daughter. And to my sons.

My kids were pulled out of school that year. For various reasons, but those incidents contributed to the decision.

- written
Last post before I go back into hiding.

Hey Aeolian, welcome back. Don't go into hiding again :'(

What are you proud of?

As for me, kind of a "hum drum" life. I'm proud of being a mom and my kids make my life happy.

- written
My grandfather is very sick in bed and I'm worried he doesn't have much longer to live.

I'm so sorry to hear this. You will treasure the memories you had with your Grandpa for the rest of your life.

One of the things that is kind of "quirky," but ended up being really neat years later was as follows:

I took one (3) of my Granny's shirts when she passed away. Seemed weird, but now, it's amazing to have.

I was very close to her, and she worked on a ranch bailing hay, fixing fences and feeding horses up to about 6 months before she passed. She had this old work shirt that she wore all the time.

After she passed,I was just wandering through her house and I opened her closet. I saw that shirt and memories of seeing her wearing it flashed in my head. I took it off the hanger, and then I saw THREE OTHER ones that were JUST LIKE IT. I took them, too. I also took her "ranch jacket," that was nothing more than a man's old thick and flannel shirt.

I hung the three shirts up in my closet on one hanger; and her jacket on another hanger. For a long time, they still had her scent. Now, I just look at them from time to time, and the memories flash.

Saying that because most people would not think of taking clothing, I don't think...but maybe you can get one of your Grandpa's old shirts (?) for sweet memories.

- written
I smoked once for the first time ten days ago and I am being drug tested on Sunday?

There's something out there called "The Stuff."

You mix it in water and drink it

- written
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