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Is this a trick question?

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Okay...posting this again.

written () ago

If the original was censored or something, and I end up with two, sorry....


What happened to my post?

written () ago


My oldest turned 18 recently.

written () ago

He lives at home; will graduate from HS in December. He has a girlfriend (since March). She has been in some really crappy situations/has been abandoned and abused. So now she's living with us.


After nearly 20 years, 4 kids, and TONS of frustration on my part, my husband has said that we should divorce.

written () ago

I don't know if he's serious, but he's never said this sort of thing before. It doesn't make me feel crushed, but it definitely makes me sad that all we built could end just like that...


:) How are you all?

written () ago


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PepperJ's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
Iโ€™ve been stuck here for such a long time I donโ€™t think I will ever get out.

Having money is far less important if you have support. I'm sorry you don't have support.

As far as having nothing.... maybe try to find something positive that you have...

Since becoming a mom, I have often felt that same "what's the point...."I feel like I need to contribute to society as a whole... and I'm feeling more and more incompetent for that.

So, I've decided to "bloom where I'm planted" and to try to change my little corner of the world and be positive. Maybe you could do that, too? It's a mindset shift. Being happy for what you have and where you are versus trying to make a bang....

- written - voted for by BA1, DocteurRalph, smiley
I'm so glad to see this site I thought it was gone forever !!!!

aeolian wrote:
The maturity of the helpers on help is astounding. Freak faceboik and its millenial vibe of selfies. This is real down to earth homies with real personalties

I would have to agree. We've all grown a little and learned a little.

I have looked and looked and looked over the years for a site where people could TALK. And where there might be fun innuendo/flirting, but NO PERVING. I was on a site where that stuff was minimal (perv stuff), but there was no substance to it....nobody actually DISCUSSED issues, lives, current events, hopes, dreams. There is no "family" feeling there, like there is here

So, yeah, as someone up there ^^^^^ said, I can gush and gush about this site :)Finally found a safe place to call home and where we can all get reacquainted.

And, I do have fb...but fb is sort of a love/hate relationship. In some instances, it's the only way I can keep up with some of my loved ones (sadly that it's not PERSONAL upkeeping of the relationship and it has deteriorated to online)...and on fb, everything seems to be overly optimistic and full of "fake success..." I mean...I KNOW those people who post about their perfect lives...and it's not at all as they make people believe ;)

One of my best friends moved to Hawaii and another to California. It's been 3-4 years now, and it broke my heart to have them move so far away. I have not developed or nurtured close female relationships since...and I miss that. You all on Help, though, is kinda like a bff ;)

- written - voted for by ๐•อคอญอฅฬ‡๐•–๐•ฅ๐•šใ€‚(Yeti.), Ameliorate, soco
if god were real i'd murder him.

Why are you so angry at a God who you believe to not be real. Seems like you are angry with your own imagination (of God)

- written - voted for by BA1, Gone
Post resolved

Merry Christmas, Anon!

I have to say that sometimes I don't get back to people on fb. Sometimes I don't text people back in a timely manner. Sometimes I don't call people back as soon as I should.

It's not at all a reflection on how I feel about those people waiting to hear from me.

Rather, it's a reflection of what a hectic, crazy life I lead and sometimes I don't have time.

Better yet: sometimes I DO have time, but I would prefer to take a nap. Or nurse a headache. Or eat. Or play dinosaurs with my son....

- written - voted for by Araz, BA1
Do you think stay at home moms are lazy?

I feel the same.... I brought in good money before kids and I was somewhat "accomplished." We would not have done it if I had not alteady purchased 2 homes prior to marriage. Obviously we lived in one and continued to have the other rented out for maybe a year. When I sold that home, I made a nice profit that took care of about a year of my income, so that made me feel better about my "contribution."
And....being a SAHM meant that there were no work conflicts when my 2nd was born and was in NICU for 8 wks and had serious health issues for her first 2 years. I COULD give my all to her and not worry about losing a job.
When my mom fell and broke her leg, since I wasn't working, I was free to go to her house and cook and clean for her.
When my Granny broke her hip and had surgery and then had bladder surgery, I was able to go to her house and cook and clean for her... and to drive her to phys therapy, etc
When my Grandpa started to get dementia, and my Grandma was overwhelmed, I was able to go and relieve her one day a week (this was very hard because at this time, I had 2 in diapers and one potty trained...but gpa was also in diapers and he would yell and scream, scaring my kids.... but thank God I was able to help her out)
When my friend's PTSD got so bad....I was able to be there
When my husb tore his bicep and had surgery....I was able to take care of everything without having to worry about a job...
Kids' tonsillectomies, doc appts, sporting events, activities, recitals, sick days, broken arms, dentist appts, etc.... didn't have to take "paid time off...."
I get up most mornings before everyone and make breakfast. Dinner is usually home made and healthy vs slapped together junk.
Many, many friends (and even people who were strangers) have had snags in their lives and jobs caused issues with life... I've been that friend to pick up their sick kids from school, etc
Also.. I have volunteered extensively and have my kids volunteer too. We do soup kitchens, I have tutored people in shelters to help them get their GEDs etc.

Being a SAHM makes me feel like I'm "not contributing" at times... and society sometimes sees SAHMs as useless... but we do have a role, if we do it right ๐Ÿ˜Ž

- written - voted for by Araz, Rockster160
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Purely sociological, honest question:

Lano wrote:

BananaLlama wrote:

I think there is a unconscious attraction to women with wide hips for that reason.

On a similar note I fear that with all the c sections, women with wide hips will become less and less.

Well, perhaps wide hippers won't be less, just narrow hippers will be more. I would think that the elimination of a need for a certain characteristic won't make that characteristic disappear, it will just make the absence of that characteristic more prevalent since nothing is stopping it from being eliminated.

Hips widen DURING pregnancy, if they are going to widen at all

My Grandma is a skinny little doll woman. Her hips are tiny. She is 4'8" and has always weighed less than 90 pounds. All of her babies were born fast (3)/no C-section

My mom is a little bigger. But her hips are not particularly wide... All of her babies were born fast (3)/no C-section

I am a little bigger than my mom. My hips expanded slightly during my first pregnancy. I could feel it...ligaments stretching, etc. But my hips are not particularly wide, either. I had all of my babies in less than 2 hours; no C-section. I had 4

- written
can someone fact check this for me?
can someone fact check this for me?

((((heavy sigh....))))

I have
SO
MUCH
to say about this
Bottom line: you're right

He did NOT "take control" of the fed reserve, he merged it with the Treasury. I think it happened in March (?) He was able to do this because we've been a nation at war since 9/11. Pres Bush declared war on terror. That never ended. A president during wartime has different privileges than a president during peace time. He could have and still can declare martial law, as well. Since all 50 states signed off in a "state of emergency," and in that case, he has every right, as a war time president, to declare martial law.

- written
Purely sociological, honest question:

[‌quote BA1]I would consider you 1 in a million (or more).[‌quote BA1]

Haha...thanks

I think about a couple of the guys I dated in the past....and I just SMH. Because not only were they not "winners" on the outside, but the inside was pretty much "loser material," too. I was just dumb.

Current husb is not included in this description. Though he's not the type I'm mostly attracted to, he's not bad ;)

First husb was a 6'6" 280# gay guy with rotten teeth (he chewed tobaccy) And a beer gut (he drank beer and pissed in the closet on the regular when drunk)

- written
i would like every long time member of this site to go un-anonymous an re introduce themselves for the year 2020 should bring new beginnings.

jjlove01 wrote:

PepperJ wrote:
I joined old help when I was having marital issues and suffering from depression/PTSD (which was my contribution to the marital issues)

I swear that I didn't google this site. It just showed up one day in an email...I clicked and ended up on the site. It was "DIVINE INTERVENTION" lol :)Since then, my marriage improved. My emotional state improved. I got older and my little bitty kids that were sort of hard to deal with (with the emotional issues) got older.

During the time period of the old help, I also went back to school and used help extensively while I studied. I'd have the site up and banter every now and then with the members. Many of them knew me well and knew that when I needed a "brain break" I would banter (there was a chat room). I'm still friends with many of those folks. I've met some in real life

It seems like those who I bantered with and myself were among the few adults early on. I loved being able to read about the accounts of teen angst, while sympathizing with their plights. I'm certain that seeing what some teens on here were going through helped me to be a better and more aware parent.

I haven't come to this new site often; I don't really need help that much anymore...sometimes I just vent on here because I can't yell and cuss and scream in real life. Or whine and moan. So I do it here from time to time.

My real name is Jill. I had the nickname of Jelly bean or Jilly bean throughout my life.

One of the members on this site told me once that I was not really a jellybean...I was more "spicy" and started calling me Pepperjelly. It stuck to the point that my husband now calls me "Pep"

I'm a mom of four. With an extra (we took one in). I'm pretty conservative. I stay home (sort of)... and home school my kids. I have a master's degree and two bachelor's degrees...and had the loans to prove it...but it was a waste because I never really "used" those degrees outside the home :(

My oldest just turned 18 (son); my daughter is 17; my 2nd son is 14 and my last son is 7. The girl we took in just turned 18. I have wrapped myself up in "mommyhood" to a point where it's unhealthy for me, probably. My kids say that they appreciate me and that they think it was never "unhealthy" for them. They are great/say their lives are great/say that they want to be our friends for life/are good people who respect us. I'm amazed that after my past I was able to guide children the way I did. It's my proudest accomplishment.

My husband is a cop and that worries me more and more as he ages. I suppose I'm going to have to get a "real" job one of these days.

That's quite a life story :)

Hey, I remember you! ๐Ÿคญ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜˜

Hahahaha

Yep :) ;)

- written
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