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After nearly 20 years, 4 kids, and TONS of frustration on my part, my husband has said that we should divorce.

written () ago

I don't know if he's serious, but he's never said this sort of thing before. It doesn't make me feel crushed, but it definitely makes me sad that all we built could end just like that...


:) How are you all?

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Post closed, thank you for your help

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PepperJ's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
Iโ€™ve been stuck here for such a long time I donโ€™t think I will ever get out.

Having money is far less important if you have support. I'm sorry you don't have support.

As far as having nothing.... maybe try to find something positive that you have...

Since becoming a mom, I have often felt that same "what's the point...."I feel like I need to contribute to society as a whole... and I'm feeling more and more incompetent for that.

So, I've decided to "bloom where I'm planted" and to try to change my little corner of the world and be positive. Maybe you could do that, too? It's a mindset shift. Being happy for what you have and where you are versus trying to make a bang....

- written - voted for by Slash, DocteurRalph, smiley
I'm so glad to see this site I thought it was gone forever !!!!

aeolian wrote:
The maturity of the helpers on help is astounding. Freak faceboik and its millenial vibe of selfies. This is real down to earth homies with real personalties

I would have to agree. We've all grown a little and learned a little.

I have looked and looked and looked over the years for a site where people could TALK. And where there might be fun innuendo/flirting, but NO PERVING. I was on a site where that stuff was minimal (perv stuff), but there was no substance to it....nobody actually DISCUSSED issues, lives, current events, hopes, dreams. There is no "family" feeling there, like there is here

So, yeah, as someone up there ^^^^^ said, I can gush and gush about this site :)Finally found a safe place to call home and where we can all get reacquainted.

And, I do have fb...but fb is sort of a love/hate relationship. In some instances, it's the only way I can keep up with some of my loved ones (sadly that it's not PERSONAL upkeeping of the relationship and it has deteriorated to online)...and on fb, everything seems to be overly optimistic and full of "fake success..." I mean...I KNOW those people who post about their perfect lives...and it's not at all as they make people believe ;)

One of my best friends moved to Hawaii and another to California. It's been 3-4 years now, and it broke my heart to have them move so far away. I have not developed or nurtured close female relationships since...and I miss that. You all on Help, though, is kinda like a bff ;)

- written - voted for by ๐•อคอญอฅฬ‡๐•–๐•ฅ๐•šใ€‚(Yeti.), Ameliorate, soco
Post resolved

Merry Christmas, Anon!

I have to say that sometimes I don't get back to people on fb. Sometimes I don't text people back in a timely manner. Sometimes I don't call people back as soon as I should.

It's not at all a reflection on how I feel about those people waiting to hear from me.

Rather, it's a reflection of what a hectic, crazy life I lead and sometimes I don't have time.

Better yet: sometimes I DO have time, but I would prefer to take a nap. Or nurse a headache. Or eat. Or play dinosaurs with my son....

- written - voted for by Araz, Slash
Do you think stay at home moms are lazy?

I feel the same.... I brought in good money before kids and I was somewhat "accomplished." We would not have done it if I had not alteady purchased 2 homes prior to marriage. Obviously we lived in one and continued to have the other rented out for maybe a year. When I sold that home, I made a nice profit that took care of about a year of my income, so that made me feel better about my "contribution."
And....being a SAHM meant that there were no work conflicts when my 2nd was born and was in NICU for 8 wks and had serious health issues for her first 2 years. I COULD give my all to her and not worry about losing a job.
When my mom fell and broke her leg, since I wasn't working, I was free to go to her house and cook and clean for her.
When my Granny broke her hip and had surgery and then had bladder surgery, I was able to go to her house and cook and clean for her... and to drive her to phys therapy, etc
When my Grandpa started to get dementia, and my Grandma was overwhelmed, I was able to go and relieve her one day a week (this was very hard because at this time, I had 2 in diapers and one potty trained...but gpa was also in diapers and he would yell and scream, scaring my kids.... but thank God I was able to help her out)
When my friend's PTSD got so bad....I was able to be there
When my husb tore his bicep and had surgery....I was able to take care of everything without having to worry about a job...
Kids' tonsillectomies, doc appts, sporting events, activities, recitals, sick days, broken arms, dentist appts, etc.... didn't have to take "paid time off...."
I get up most mornings before everyone and make breakfast. Dinner is usually home made and healthy vs slapped together junk.
Many, many friends (and even people who were strangers) have had snags in their lives and jobs caused issues with life... I've been that friend to pick up their sick kids from school, etc
Also.. I have volunteered extensively and have my kids volunteer too. We do soup kitchens, I have tutored people in shelters to help them get their GEDs etc.

Being a SAHM makes me feel like I'm "not contributing" at times... and society sometimes sees SAHMs as useless... but we do have a role, if we do it right ๐Ÿ˜Ž

- written - voted for by Araz, Rockster160
What do you think of someone who admits they made a mistake?

I think you're right. It shows strength, character, power and confidence in self, to admit when you're wrong.

- written - voted for by beautycomesfromwithin
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I knew I'd go grey.

I liked mine too :)I could "see" them before they were there, and it made me happy.

I'm glad you will have smile lines instead of frown lines :)

- written
After nearly 20 years, 4 kids, and TONS of frustration on my part, my husband has said that we should divorce.

NaCtHoMaN wrote:
pepperj ur still a superwoman in my view ๐Ÿ˜˜

:)

- written
is it possible..

Do it! Once you have a mortgage, car payments, kids, sick/elderly parents...or are sick/elderly yourself, needing to stay connected to a certain job to just make sure you have insurance...you won't be able to.

Do it while you can.

Do it again in a while while you can.

Keep doing it until you can't

- written
ask me anything

NaCtHoMaN wrote:

PepperJ wrote:
@Yorick What makes you such a nice person?

what? im nice .. why thankyou. PepperJ. guess you could call it the wear and tear buffed the shine that i am.. errmm.. something like that.

@PepperJ do you like pepper jack cheese?

Not very much....

- written
ask me anything

@Yorick What makes you such a nice person?

- written
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