"I've said it before and I'll say it again; demons I get. People are crazy."

I was born over 30 years ago to a woman who was legally wed to the man who sired me. I liked breathing so I decided to stick around. Nothing of much importance has happened to me since.

Where did you grow up?

In houses and flats, mostly. Though there were a few months that I spent in jail and in homeless shelters.

Where do you live now?

In a house that's falling apart and that I am anxiously waiting to relocate from.

What is the highest level of education you have attained?

Life. Life is a good educator and I am always learning from it.

What subjects did/do you enjoy most at school?

Recess and lunch, or any time I could get away with reading a novel.

What's your favorite sport or sports?

Survival. That's a very challenging sport, and one I am most fond of.

What kind of jobs have you held? Industries too!

Non Applicable at this point in time. But I'm working on someone giving me a chance to wash dishes for minimum wage.

What hobbies are you into?

Writing, reading, listening to music, meeting my nerd heroes at national conventions, and feeding my fandom addiction via Netflix and other streaming services.

What causes are you concerned about today?

Addiction, pitiful mental health support, universal health care, poverty, and the utter failure that is the NBN.

If you claim a political party affiliation, which is it?

Always a dangerous question this one; and I'm always one for playing it safer. Inquire within if it remains such a burning question and you'll die without knowing.

Which religion (if any) do you follow?

See above.

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Will Helpbot please report to the front desk?

written () ago

You have a phone call.

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Aria's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
Anyone got thoughts on the following:

Nope. None at all.

It seems that my opinions apparently differ a lot from the majority of the people here now; so I'm just plain scared to even contribute lest I start a nasty debate that will end up with me realizing I should have just kept my mouth shut in the first place.

I've matured enough over the years to learn how to learn from my mistakes.

- written - voted for by Araz, Yorick, DragonLady
Help me with..

If after the above advice doesn't old is your charger/USB cord? After a while, they tend to burn out and need replacing. I've only had two iPhones over the last 10 years and I can't even recall how many lightning cables I've gone through...maybe about 8 something around there? It tends to give a connection error when connecting to the computer, refuses to charge, and the computer doesn't recognize it. It may be something as simple as just replacing the cable.

- written - voted for by DragonLady, DocteurRalph

I agree with what @music=life said where it's hard to try and find something to say in a desire to help, because you've written this extremely raw - and perhaps that's a good thing. To get it out somehow. It whatever way in order to try and sort out the chaos in your head. It is something I can relate to as well. Words are my emotions that are given ammunition; for lack of a better way to explain it.

I do wish to say a few things though. I don't know if some sort of filtering or any sort of given perspective will be appreciated, but I needed to feel like I could maybe say something - anything that properly conveys my hope to try and help ease a little of your pain? I know sometimes it has helped me in the past.

The price you pay for drugs is a small pink simian who enjoys interlocking his twenty digits around your spine in a slowly tightening grip. But at least you are dealing with a pain fierce enough for you to understand, to endure. The subtle art of poetry carries a more subtle pain.

This screamed out at me. It says everything. On September 13th, I'll be 2 years clean after a near fatal overdose. The price I paid was that I felt like the monkey on my back was forced onto my mother - and that is a currency I refuse to pay ever again. My demons should be mine alone, and I refuse to force someone I love as much as my mother, to carry any of them.

For over half of my already lived life, I believed that I hated my mother just as much as I hate myself - sometimes, there were times when I thought I hated her even more that that; especially in the times I was actively hurting. There was a lot of unspoken pain, resentment, confusion that was left over from many years that we both found ourselves in a place where we thought nothing could fix the caverns in our relationship.

It has only been in the last five years where we have grown -together- and we have been able to begin to heal some wounds that were festering for far too long. The fear and helplessness in my mother's eyes the morning she rushed me to the hospital is one I will never forget; and while it may have been the epiphany I needed to finally see that I truly love my mother, I wish it had been another way. I should not have needed to hurt her so badly, before I realized that I actually gave a ****shit, and I was finally convinced that she did.

My mother is now, my best friend. Something I thought I would never say, or have.

That went in a whole other direction than I originally intended here, but it doesn't sound as simple or effortless as "I get it." I truly do.

My use was used to numb. To become emotionless, or at least not be aware or care of the emotions because they would rip holes of pain through me. I felt I had no other way to stop my soul from screaming. Even if it was just turning it's volume down for a short time, and letting the record play without hearing it. It didn't go away, or stop. It was just temporarily covered up.

I'm sick of writing about dope, about drugs in every form. I'm sick of recording the ups of indulgence, and sick of releasing dispatches of misery via abstinence.

I *get it

I'm exhausted, and there's times when I think it's even so beyond that, that there isn't even a word for it. I get so angry that it's even something that is a part of my life. In fact, it was only just the other day I had the second-worst day in two years. The only way it would have been in first place, would be if I had given in. Miraculously, I didn't. Or maybe the new Australian law is to be given the most credit. I think it is more likely to be the reason, rather than any kind of miracle.

I guess what I'm trying to really say here, is to possibly give words of comfort, and though I know it's so cliche, and I know that when we feel at our utter most low-point, we don't even believe the words, but; you are not alone.

Away from the self-deprecating humor, and underneath it all, no matter how much ****shit we might throw at each other in some form of weird performance dance, I care about you, and I just needed you to know that. I always have cared for you since I first met you. I've admired, and respected you. I am so so sorry that you are hurting, and like @music=life also said, do not forget that is is okay to throw a pity party. It's okay to be angry, or self-loathing or whatever you need to feel right now. And yes, we sometimes do need to feel some of that pain before we can begin to heal. It's just important to remember too, that as much as it can be believed that "I need to do this alone" sometimes. Sometimes, we really can't.

- written - voted for by verge, DocteurRalph
Okay Jebus, just for you, I came back.

Yup, I did. You might remember me as Grace. We communicated through FB for a little while, but I did a couple of sweep-outs over the years and lost contact with a few people through there.

- written - voted for by ProffVampy, Nyxotic
Time dilation is a lie.

I am apparently awfully late for this reply (I too, have been away for what apparently is now a million years) but this made me giggle. Although, personally, I am a few Jack Daniels in...and my math really sucks to the point of understanding physics.

This is honestly, my only understanding of physics...and I still don't understand it.

[Original Link]

It's a good thing I'm only in love with a scientist (who isn't a Timelord), and not one myself.

Edit: This was meant to quote @DocteurRalph but apparently something went wonky and it didn't register...

Still, it stands.

- written - voted for by DocteurRalph
Last 5 Replies - All 246 Replies ยป
Please do not PM, IM or Email me with support questions.

Uh...I think you may be lost? This is a website that offers peer support and general advice. It's not affliated with a's just a social site.

- written
Time dilation is a lie.

I am apparently awfully late for this reply (I too, have been away for what apparently is now a million years) but this made me giggle. Although, personally, I am a few Jack Daniels in...and my math really sucks to the point of understanding physics.

This is honestly, my only understanding of physics...and I still don't understand it.

[Original Link]

It's a good thing I'm only in love with a scientist (who isn't a Timelord), and not one myself.

Edit: This was meant to quote @DocteurRalph but apparently something went wonky and it didn't register...

Still, it stands.

- written
Religion is sick.

My Jewishness is from my father's side. In fact, my paternal grandfather was a holocaust survivor from Holland during WW2. After serving in Indonesia, he came home and joined the resistance groups. I am still following up on research that some of our family members may have died at Sobibor.

My mother's side of the family (this is a source of some amusement for me these days) is German. My maternal great-grandfather served in the German army. He was captured and spent 3 years in a Russian POW camp. My g-grandfather sadly, did not like Jews much...and he passed before my mother and my father met.

My maternal grandfather, however, did not hold the same the animosity towards Jewish people (he was only 8 when the war ended, and was 15 when he moved to Australia) and he and I remained close. My opa (my Dutch grandfather) did not speak English even after immigrating, so I spoke with him through my father translating. But my opi (German grandfather) did speak English, and had some years in raising me. My great uncle (opi's younest brother) has sadly expressed some pretty shameless views on how he views certain minority groups - and I have been advised to be careful what I say around times of my mother's side of family reunions because he's apparently...not the only one to have such antisemitic views.

It hits kinda close when you're made to "hush" about where you paternal side is really from among your own family... But it makes for some dark humor when I think of the fact that my Nazi-supporting great-grandfather would be somewhat horrified to know that his granddaughter married a Jew...

In addition, my maternal grandparents, one of their daughters and my cousin (my aunt's youngest child) became Jehovah's Witnessess in 1991. I was about 5 at the time. Not only has my cousin told me to my face, "well, we (JW's) were targeted in WW2 as well!" but my own aunt only about two years ago during a visit and a casual conversation went "I don't hate anyone...except Jews, but they killed Jesus", then LOOKED directly at me, said "sorry but it's true." and I'm just made to sit there on the floor in front of my mother and my grandparents and just...take it.

I was kind of shocked that when I tried to speak out and correct the LONG-incorrect blame (it was the Romans...not us. We didn't have the power. We were under Roman occupation.) but I was more surprised when my grandmother came to my defense/back-up. And this is the same grandparent that expressed sadness over the fact that I didn't believe in "The Trilogy" so I wasn't going to "be with them in the New System."

But I think I'd digressed a bit - which is stupid of me, because I don't even know if this reply will ever be seen by you at this point. This site is getting more and more like a ghost town...and you quite possibly have left it, or have even forgotten this post if you are a regular member (you posted anonymously, so it is hard to tell if you're still someone around here).

But amusement was that, from your initial post, I could tell that your attitudes toward religion or faith as a whole seemed to be mostly toward those of maybe a Christian-influenced society, or just proselytizing-based faith as a whole.

As a side-note; the incredibly insulting "Jews For Jesus" or "Messianic Jews" fall under those categories too. Because they are sadly, NOT supported by Judaism. They are considered Christians who seek to convert Jews, or mislead people in what Judaism actually is.

But to sum up, and in semi-direct mention of your penultimate sentence, Jews are considered a minority in most places of the western world. Just due to the fact that Christianity is the majority and more widely accepted stance of mainstream religion. We even detest the use of the term "Judeo-Christian" because we do not wish to be associated with their justification of constant hate and judgment of how other people live.

But of course, we also run into the conspiracy theories that have followed us for over 2000+ years. I'm supposed to apparently be hiding horns in my hair, or control/own a bank (I wish) and tell the governments what to do. And then there's the more modern idea that Jew = Pro-Israel, which is a whole other seperate issue. I do very much encourage the ridiculous idea that we have a secret space laser though... it's cathartic and entertaining to think we have a coping/revenge mechanism to fall back on. Lol.

A few Chanukahs ago, I had someone scream at me from their car as I was sitting outside with my Chanukiah lit in the window facing the street (as is tradition; to celebrate and show that we embrace that we are given the freedom to observe our faith that was once attempted to be silenced) "****Fuck Israel". I'm in Australia...I've never stepped foot into Israel, and I've been a pacifist since my pre-school days.

So yes, I do do wish there was more people in the world who would behave and treat others in such a way that it wouldn't harm others. There's actually a Jewish concept of it, called "Tikkun Olam" which means to "repair/heal the world" in the idea of fairness, equality, and social justice. It's there to be non-judgemental, based on individuality and embracing the good in all people and things.

A while back, I had a conversation with someone in Indonesia who was saying that many ideas of Hinduism and Buddihism could also relate to Judaism. I don't know much about the former myself but from what I do know; it might not be that far-fetched of a comparison.

Anyway...whether this reaches you again or not - I thought perhaps in some small way, writing this out and adding my reply to this post might achieve something in someway. Even if it is just further insight to someone else who might come across it. Personally, I have always been someone for insightful topics like this...even if sometimes I might shy from them due to my anxieties and general fear of reactionary hostility.

- written
Religion is sick.

I'm going to half to split this reply into two parts, apparently...because I've been having a couple of drinks tonight, and I apparently talk/type too much. Lol.

But to start...

Anonymous wrote:
If your faith allows for your to believe as you wish without affecting anyone else that's great!

I do for some reason have the idea somehow, and not counting it as fact, perhaps you can even clear it up for me: I know nothing of the Torah, I just assume every faith has it's 'sacred texts' but I have the impression that a lot of the Torah is similar in context and views of the Old Testament teachings I'm familiar with does it not?

If that's true, you've managed to do a lot of interpretation for the better. If taken literally I don't believe you would have come to the same conclusions you have personally.

...Anyone who can do that, I believe would be considered a minority in any country. We certainly need more who can do what you do.

I do not know if you're still around here - I know that your reply and question to me was over a year ago now - but I've been away from the site a bit and only just recently read this reply while going back through my notices. So sorry about that!

To try and answer your question though (if you see it, if if it still matters) The Torah is what most would refer to as "The Old Testament", yes. But...only the first five books. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers and Deuteronomy.

However; to begin to explain a bit further, it's not referred to as "the old testament" by Jews because that would imply it has been replaced. And in Judaism, anything beyond the Tanakh (the Torah + the books following up to Malachi) does not exist/matter to us. That's a bit more complication to expand on at this time, though.

But, that in many Jewish views, there were many mistranslations of the Tanakh when non-Jews began to transcribe them. This occured mostly due to the scribes who were paid/ordered to make the translations being ordered to change words or could not properly directly translate from the original contexts. Think of it like the earliest version of the game "Telephone" to put it simply. And most of the translations were ordered/done so as to include it into the new texts that would eventually be put together with "The New Testament". Those translations, were demanded by non-Jews or would-be Christians.

That being said; the texts of the orginal Tanakh were never meant to apply to a person who was not Jewish. So Christians who refer to scriptures within them (specifically, they love to bring up Leviticus) and use it for justifications of telling what others should/should not do are doing so incorrectly. In Judaism, Hashem (our informal word for G-d) is only really concerned what we do, and those who aren't put it in the easiest way, are getting off pretty easy.

It's the same sort of thing behind the whole concept/terminology of "The Chosen People." It's misunderstood that it makes us sound like we feel we are more important, or in more favour. But I have an analogy to explain it a bit better.

To put it into a bit of a wider perspective (and to explain a bit more before I get into the analogy part); There are 613 commandments that we as Jews, are expected to follow. Also, to keep in mind, we do not believe in Hell in the same sense as Christianity (eternal torture, fire and brimstone, etc). "Hell" or (more directly)"Sheol" is a transliteration for "grave". Christianity in fact, is the one who has the concept of original sin...we do not. We also, do not view Satan as a fallen angel, but as an angel who has a specific role is doing what is asked/ordered of him. In Judaism, only humans were granted freewill...angels were not. So it would be impossible for one to be able to betray and turn against Hashem.

That being said, there is not a definitive (or common agreement) of an afterlife. It's mostly understood in Judaism that we have just one life. And no one, not even Jews, are above anyone else in this life. If there is something else after this, it is not based on faith, or even the level of it...but how we live here and now. So no, a person doesn't have to be Jewish, or even religious. For those who do hold the idea of an afterlife, it is considered that we are judged by our actions, and our hearts.

So, to put that in the analogy; there is a house with 613 windows (613 representing the full total of commandments/laws in the Torah and Tanakh as a whole). Jews ("The Chosen People") are expected to wash all 613 of those windows. At the completion...we get paid $1000 and taken out for ice cream. Non-Jews, are expected to wash 7/10 of those windows. And at completion, get $1000 and taken out for ice cream.

The 7/10 comparison is based on what's considered the "Ten Commandments" or what's considered the "7 Noahide laws"). But regardless of what you'd call's still the same basic principle.

Non-Jews (in my way of putting it) get the easy stuff. "Chosen" just basically means more is asked of us. Like, for instance, we're the ones who are forbidden to do any form of work on Shabbos (but many of us ask for assistance or "employ" a non-Jew to do small tasks for us, such as lighting a flame to heat a home, for example).

Judaism as a whole is considered what's called a "closed religion". Based on several factors. One, being that at its core, it is an ethnoreligion and is passsed down through generations. Two, that faith is strictly very personal, and therefore proselytizing is strictly forbidden (besides, a person being non-Jewish is not seen as someone "bad" or "not worthy"). And three, traditions or laws that Jews follow are only ever expected and asked of Jews to observe. Such as eating kosher, blowing the shofar on Rosh Hashana, or any laws we break, or hurt we cause ourselves, or others (Jews or non-Jews) that we are to atone for on Yom Kippur.

Like I tried to sort of bring across in previous replies - Judaism is pretty liberal in most contexts. It believes in "live and let live" and to put more of a modern spin on it, "what YOU do, is your own business. Just please, don't hurt anyone while doing it."

A lot of the modern, western world has been shaped by Christianity, and I pressume that your experiences have that influence behind them. Including your frustrations and your anger. And you are indeed entitled to them! I completely understand them. That is why my initial reaction was to laugh. Because; I get it. I get the frustration and where you are coming from.

- written
Hello, HelpQA~~I was a member of the original years ago and a member of the QA as well.

Hey! I think I remember you a bit. Or at least the name rings a bell.

Yeah, it's very quiet around here these days. But some of the older members are still floating around, as you can probably see!

- written
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