i mean it depends...if youre a very hands on parent and the other parents is largely out of the house working etc then no as taking care of children is alot of work! If the kids are at nursery all day or you have some kind of caretaker for them then i dont know if lazy is the right word but other things could be done with your time. i now people who have 4 kids and still work and others who have 1 and stay at home. think at the end of the day it just depends on your parenting style and what suits you best!

Hmmm... I could talk a lot about this. I am on my phone, though, so will have to wait til I get to the computer.

Ultimately, if a sahm gives all that she is able to BEING a good one and SERVING her family, she wont be lazy...rather, the work will never end. Though it's a different type of work. And the point of being a sahm is FOR your kids and by extension...your husb. It's not really so that YOU can live "a life of leisure...." which some stay at home moms think staying home means....as do others in this society

Sahm = Stay @ Home Mom.

Agreed with Pepper. I know stay at home moms with 4 kids that are extremely lazy. See their kids as automatic chore-doers that follow their every command.

Then others with only 1 child who are very busy, and take care of everybody.

It depends on you. Does having a computer job make you lazy? No. It has nothing to do with your job. (Taking care of kids at home counts as a job) it all depends on you.

I worked 3-4 jobs before kids; worked with the victims of the Oklahoma Bombing; went to school to get certificates/learn languages/etc....AFTER I got my BA. I was ALWAYS striving for "better." Before marriage, I had already purchased 2 houses.
Gave all that up and have been a (mostly) SAHM for 16 years. I have worked during those years off and on and have volunteered extensively in the community.
I also got my master's degree, started work on a Ph.D., and have been home educating our 4 kids

More later, when I'm at a keyboard....

But ultimately to do "SAHM" right... you do it for OTHERS. (Your loved ones)... and YOU are selfless....

Ironically, the lazy ones are the ones who complain any time they have to do something outside of the norm. (Like taking your kids to the Dentist, a park, a school play, etc) While the busy ones are the first ones to volunteer to prepare food for an event. It really depends on how you handle your time and where your priorities are.

If you see being a stay at home parent (un-gendering the post- sorry) as a way to get out of work, then you'll probably be a lazy parent. If you see it as a change in job, and an opportunity to teach your kids and raise them rather than them being raised by somebody else- then you'll probably do a pretty good job!

I have conflicting feelings on this...

I may start ruffling some feathers here but could it depend on race? One of the typical SAHM pictures you see in the news are obese black women. Stereotypically, most people equate obesity to laziness. I also think it depends on the mindset of the mother. If she is selfless you will see her out shopping with kids in tow. The selfISH mom will send her kids alone to the store, while she sits at home on the couch.

My apologies to anyone that I may have offended. That was not my intention.

I feel the same.... I brought in good money before kids and I was somewhat "accomplished." We would not have done it if I had not alteady purchased 2 homes prior to marriage. Obviously we lived in one and continued to have the other rented out for maybe a year. When I sold that home, I made a nice profit that took care of about a year of my income, so that made me feel better about my "contribution."
And....being a SAHM meant that there were no work conflicts when my 2nd was born and was in NICU for 8 wks and had serious health issues for her first 2 years. I COULD give my all to her and not worry about losing a job.
When my mom fell and broke her leg, since I wasn't working, I was free to go to her house and cook and clean for her.
When my Granny broke her hip and had surgery and then had bladder surgery, I was able to go to her house and cook and clean for her... and to drive her to phys therapy, etc
When my Grandpa started to get dementia, and my Grandma was overwhelmed, I was able to go and relieve her one day a week (this was very hard because at this time, I had 2 in diapers and one potty trained...but gpa was also in diapers and he would yell and scream, scaring my kids.... but thank God I was able to help her out)
When my friend's PTSD got so bad....I was able to be there
When my husb tore his bicep and had surgery....I was able to take care of everything without having to worry about a job...
Kids' tonsillectomies, doc appts, sporting events, activities, recitals, sick days, broken arms, dentist appts, etc.... didn't have to take "paid time off...."
I get up most mornings before everyone and make breakfast. Dinner is usually home made and healthy vs slapped together junk.
Many, many friends (and even people who were strangers) have had snags in their lives and jobs caused issues with life... I've been that friend to pick up their sick kids from school, etc
Also.. I have volunteered extensively and have my kids volunteer too. We do soup kitchens, I have tutored people in shelters to help them get their GEDs etc.

Being a SAHM makes me feel like I'm "not contributing" at times... and society sometimes sees SAHMs as useless... but we do have a role, if we do it right 😎

A home is more demanding than one may expect.
People on the go cover the basics with regard to what's on the surface, but it's much deeper than it appears.
It's not just a full-time job - it's an all-time job with the highest production rate, bar none.
BTW....it's okay to be a "Mom," instead of a "Pa-rent."

Haven't read any replies so not sure if this has been covered yet but I know my mum for one once she had maternity leave found it really hard to get back into work again when she was ready to go back. She's completely changed her whole career because of it so staying at home is not always necessarily out of choice.

From seeing what my stepmom does for my little brother as a sahm, she works endlessly, I tried to get her to 'relax' with me at times, and she never had time to do that, except for maybe an hour a week, if that. I think the results of being a sahm are very rewarding if it's done right, and for those who can afford it. My mother couldn't - before she got divorced, both my parents worked and I was sent to my grandmother or a day-care centre, or stayed home alone when I was old enough. There are pros and cons: I missed time with my mother that I wanted, the bonding-time was limited; on the upside, I learnt responsibility(cooking and cleaning while balancing school and friends). Also, there was no authority around to enforce a shared workload, so it all fell on me (my siblings being the lazier ones - and I was and am a pretty lazy person in general). I don't really think it's a positive or negative thing for me personally, but it did shape me into the person I am today, somewhat obsessive about cleaning...

If I could choose, I'd have opted for a sahm, but I'm sure if she had been lazy, I'd choose differently.

I'm getting a degree now, so that I can work before (and after) I have kids, when the day comes, I'll probably be a sahm when it's crucial for their development, then I'll transition to working part-time when they're old enough. Honestly, I'd love to home-school, but I'm not sure I have the patience for it. I don't think of sahm as lazy, you can quickly tell the lazy from the hard-working, and I think it also depends on your surrounding community, they determine the general outlook on sahm vs. 'working' mothers.

This depends much on what she does while she's at home to be honest.

I mean if you make sure the kids are being raised, clean the house, keep things running. Do administrative stuff "the works" it's far from "being lazy".

However, i have seen and been with people that do absolutely nothing... just, nothing. And yes, in that case it is laziness.

It mostly depends on the attitude of said stay at home mom i believe. It's difficult to draw a conclusion based on very little knowledge of the situation.

So my answer is both conflicting and useless to you. Huzzah!
-Legion.

I agree with the general it depends

I couldn't be a stay at home mum and be mentally healthy. I need to work for my brain.. I don't know how people can do it

A stay at home mom/dad shoulders a huge responsibility, as well as a ********shitload of work, guiding children through those important formative years. Pretty soon the kids will be going to school anyway and the opportunity to work outside of the house will arise again.

I think it would drive me crazy being at home with a baby all the time. But then again i dont want kids and have a dim view of mums in general (but thats my issues lol).

I think if your active in the community and not sat at home watching jerry springer people will know your not lazy.

But then again, does it matter what people think? its about your self purpose, what do you want?and what makes you happy? thats what matters.

My wife had 5 children in 6 years. Her job staying at home was a lot harder than mine for a very long time. We had two in diapers at once and I couldn't afford the disposable kind for two kids so we had to revert back to cloth diapers... yeah try that for a while.

She doesn't do much now but there are 7 grandkids and so it's still not all hanging out on the beach drinking Pina Coladas.

And my mom was a stay at home mom too but then again almost all women were in the 50's. She was definitely not lazy, and no one in their right mind would think she was. She sang in the church choir, belonged to all these different women's groups, and did lunch with every other doctor and lawyer's wife in town. I kind of thought her job was to keep the family name at the top of our small town society's food chain, I think she thought so too. She did it very well.

So in summation you can be a stay at home mom and not be lazy, but if you only have one child and all you do is hang out at the house people are probably going to think you are. In fact you probably will be... Jerry Jerry Jerry!!! lol

Society kind of expects women to work now, and so people that don't know you will assume you are lazy if you stay at home. Who cares what they think? You can be a stay at home mom and home school your children, remodel your house and spend hours a day gardening and doing charity work. It's up to you whether you are lazy or not, and people who do know you will be able to judge accordingly. Stay at home and have a whole lot going on, nobody will think you're lazy. Be my mom... she was a superhero ha ha ha.

And still found time to rescue little Timmy from the runaway train and rescue pets from burning houses!
When did she ever find the time for lunches...?

Nixx, I NEVER wanted kids. Thought little kids were gross and demanding and wanted no part of that. I loved the sponaneity of my life and the fact that I felt as if I was on the road to success. I loved taking off on an overnight trip without having to worry about all the things to be considered with kids (alone or with a bf.... regular meals didn't matter, snacks didn't matter, diapers...naps.... hotels.... I could sleep in my car if I had to; can't do that with kids)
When I accidentally got preg., I thought I would go back to work and that my kids would be A PART OF my life.
After he was born, I realized that my kids were NOT to be a part of my life.... they ARE my life. And the man who gave them to me, provides for us, and is an exemplary role model and father, as well.
Now... everything I do, I do for THEM. Even when I volunteer... it's to make this little corner of the world a better place for THEM to live in

Had my first at age 30. 4th at nearly 41. Would have had a houseful of kids, but started late and had many miscarriages

Love this❤

In all of the history of the world, and in the story of all of mankind.... very few are financially secure as they would like to be before starting a family.
And even if you ARE financially secure, a lifetime is quite a stretch.... for SO MUCH to happen... financial security can become financial ruin and vice versa.

"And still found time to rescue little Timmy from the runaway train and rescue pets from burning houses"! soco

I might have to change my nickname to littletimmy... It's actually my name and with no littlenick we need a little something something around here.

And hey what about PepperJelly riding in for the rescue? I'll feed your white horse while you talk to Araz. lol

I'm so sorry Docteur Ralph. I just pulled that name out of my *. Here... I'll let you put it back in.

BS I just woke up after a long sleep and remember exactly who you are now.

I know keeping up a household is a lot of work. Cooking meals everyday, cleaning constantly, keeping everyone else's live organized. That is a full time job with no pay! Jesus. I can barely take care of myself as an adult.

I think stay at home moms could potentially be lazy if they aren't actually taking care of their families, but for the most part they are super hard working.

I've known a few moms who stay at home and take cute pictures of themselves all day long, and that's all they seem to do. I can see how that could be seen as lazy. I also know a single mother of one who works full time and has a social life and takes care of her mother, sister and nephew.