I'm encouraging chastity. She is on birth control, though.

I don't pry at all, but every day, a little bit more comes out.

I think she had a half way decent living situation recently. After literally being homeless, she lived with her dad's ex GF for a few months, paying $350/month rent to have a bunk bed in a tiny bedroom in a trailer with 2 other girls. Her only personal space was literally the top mattress of that bunk bed.

But, during her stay there, the woman did sort of "mother" her. And then kicked her out. Go figure.

Anyway, the bottom line is that she's a sweet heart and I love her. But I love my son more and I don't want this to be a bad thing for his future. (This girl is his GF, but he's not in love with her, if that makes sense. They were just sort of dating, rather casually, when the sh!t hit the fan and she had no place else to go)

I don't think I have your #

I do try to let my son make his own decisions somewhat. And that's why I'm mildly worried.

1. Teens have raging hormones
2. She's not the one and hasn't been the one for him. They've been good friends. But she wants to marry him So I'm worried about him being "smothered" and becoming unable to live his life separate from hers.

I did tell them that I'm not going to let them play house on my dime. So, she has the basement space and he has a room on the top floor. I have cameras. They are not allowed in each other's space, for a couple reasons:
1. They NEED this separate space
2. The whole "playing house" thing

Also, she's not allowed on the top level of the house between 8pm and 8am....that also gives husb and I time to be able to laze around in pj's and watch movies or whatever. I explained this to her (that WE also need OUR space) and she gets it.

I also talk to her about healthy relationships and mentioned to her that if things don't work out with her and B, they can be great friends...and that either way, she has gained 7 people who will back her unconditionally (the 6 of us and our one room mate who's been with us for over a year now)

But she is pretty aggressive in taking up B's time. If he wants to go to his room to nap, or play video games....she gives him half an hour and then texts or knocks on his door....yikes lol

She also inserts herself into his relationships with friends. That is going to have to be something that is changed.

Sorry to hear that about T. I thought for some reason, that he had a happy relationship. I suppose I was clueless.

The sad part is that it wasn't a great relationship and that you said he doesn't seem to be better off without her. Seems like in that case, he loved and needed her in his life, even though she was....whatever she was....

I hate it that she played on your heart strings, because the same is happening. I love this girl and feel like she's a kindred spirit...I was kicked out and homeless, living on the streets, in HS. I wish someone would have helped me. But now, I can help someone else and I'm glad for that, and I think that's making me feel closer to her than I should....NOT that she's not a great gal. Just that I should be more reserved. She's a real firecracker. She has anger issues and is a tough chick. I understand why/where that came from: she had to be tough. Anyway, she's always so high energy, so "mouthy" and so opinionated and, well...."fire crackery...."

When she was living at her boss' house (see other thread), she stayed a day at our house. Hitch hiked to get here :/

I watched her that day. She was so quiet, reserved and "down," that she actually seemed sick. She sat in the big oversized papasan chair in our fam room and just shook. I would watch her and she didn't realize I was watching her all the time. She ended up finally just falling asleep for several hours. I watched her sleep. She shivered, she was pale.

The next day, when we went to get her stuff and she "officially" moved in, after we pulled up into our driveway and I was still in our van and so was she...we were alone, I said, "You will never have to wonder where you are going to sleep or where you are going to eat again." She sobbed.

Later, my son and her went to play soccer. He came home and told me that she and he had talked about that before we went to get her stuff: that she was so stressed, just not knowing where she would live from day to day, that she felt sick.

Yep. She pulls on my heart strings......

He is not finished with HS yet. He will graduate in December.

Then, he is going to live at home and go to community college. I live right in the middle of several universities, several community colleges, and several tech/trade schools. He can live at home and do the college/trade training. He wants to live at home during this time, because he doesn't want to have to support himself while going to school/college. I'm fine with that.

@Araz She is in HS. She should have graduated in May or maybe Dec. But she pretty much failed her senior year and most of her junior year. So she is maybe a junior.

One of the rules of living here is that she has to be in school.

I tried to enroll her in an alternative school yesterday. It's a school that has two tracks: one provides a diploma and one provides a GED. IDK which she would be eligible for, because it's based on age combined with number of credits earned so far.

I found out at this alt school that she needs a referral from the "boundary HS." I asked which would be our "boundary HS." Even though we live in one town, we live so far to the outskirts, that our "boundary HS" is actually in another town.

Principal at alt school said to go in person to register her and to ask for a referral right then.

Today, we went to the boundary HS to enroll her. The registrar is out for summer break and the fill in didn't know anything.

So, I'm not sure where that leaves us. Will find out later what to do.

She needs to get a job of some sort. Not FT, just something to cover her needs for clothes, spending money. Future independence.

She has a job interview on Wednesday. She turned 18 a couple weeks ago, so can't be in foster care.

I notice that she is not eating stuff at my house. I think she feels self conscious about "free loading."

And she has no car; we live in a bit of an isolated neighborhood; no laundromats are nearby...and our laundry room is very close to the master bedroom.

One of my rules is that she not go past a certain point in the upstairs part of the house (containing 2 bedrooms; master bed; and laundry room) simply because I need space that is "mine" and she needs to stay clear of that area.

So, I told her that her laundry day would be Fri (my kids each have a day of the week) and that someone would do hers: wash, dry and give back for her to fold/put away.

She didn't get her stuff to us on Fri., (I honestly think she forgot), so today, she had no clothes. I washed her clothes. I folded them for her too, as a one time thing. and noticed how thin, few, and mended her clothes are :'(

@smiley

Right now, we're pretty dang broke. I have some debt from the trip we took and need to get that paid off. When I wrote down bills due in the checkbook register for July, I noticed that we have no extra money. For July, I'm going to have to budget $120/week for groceries for 7 people. It can be done. Tightening the belt to get some stuff paid off is a good thing.

My oldest broke his foot. He's been going to doc appointments a lot/physical therapy/etc. It's spendy and it's not helping. Today, we see a specialist in foot surgery. So lots more money to be spent in the near future, it seems....especially with specialist appointments and possible surgery.

We do have extra money in the account we use for our rentals, but we have to save it. We owe an attorney $1200; and two of our roofs need replaced. So the $2000.00 that is in there needs to stay and grow to pay for those things.

Having said that, though, one of our houses needs a little landscaping (easy stuff...making a path by cutting out grass and tamping the dirt down and putting borders in and laying down the little pebbles. Another needs to have the fence painted.) So in a few months, hopefully we will have a little more money, and I'm hiring her and my 3 older kids to do those things.

Also, while on our vaca., and when I was doing all the laundry, I noticed that my daughter's underwear and socks are awful. And my daughter has just a few good shirts/pants. So I handed my daughter $100 to get socks, underwear and 1-2 shirts/pants. I am going to hand this girl $20, I think, for the "basics."

She has a job interview tomorrow...

I do mystery shopping. I just did a shop that requires a reimbursed purchase of at least $10. So I bought her some new socks. She was appreciative...