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Males perspective

When a guy tells you that he is attracted to you and you tell him that you needed time to think about it because the age gap is 13yrs. I told him that I'm willing to get to know him but he doesn't reply to me anymore. Was he just using me or he was hurt?

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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anymore, told, hurt, reply, yrs
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Inbound1896536404
Gone
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females seldom understand the full brunt of rejection.
You may have recieved a taste of your own medicine.

Yorick
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he probably moved on - thats my guess.. first u told him you needed time to think.

.. how long was it before you said you were willing to get to know him?

Electric
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👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
I somewhat agree with my brothers, above.

Females seldom understand the full brunt (a guy goes through) when they reject him.

First you told him you needed time to think (about it).

BUT that thought was based on a principal of age (and seemingly nothing of more considerable value)....
He's already older and he knows it. He has entered a period of his life where his chances of finding love become less and less.

EDIT wrote:
"I'll think about it."
The worse possible thing to say to anyone - here's why -
As children, we all grew up with parents who told us they would "think about it," when we asked certain things that would fuel our excitement.
In the end, "I'll think about," meant "NO." And after nursing on the tit of disappointment for so long, we tend to adopt the same strategy instead of making things bluntly clear.

So now, you've presented him with the ultimate no win situation. In order to say, "I'll think about it," he has to deal with the shameful situation of hearing a younger lady pull a parenting tactic when the irony is he's older than you....That's Part One.....

The final chapter comes in when, from that position of assumed authority, you measured the very issue of his age back to him.

"I'm willing to get to know you, but let me think about it because of our age difference."
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
That's what you might have said, but here's the subliminal undertone he's getting -
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

"No. You're too old for love."

And telling him that you're "willing to get to know him," is (in one sense), like saying, "we can still be friends," which is a customary and classic kick in the nuts most every guy is familiar with regardless of age.

Inbound1896536404
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Think about this.
Suppose a women asked a guy out ,and the guy said to her, "let me go home and think about it, and Ill get back to you."
Well, I would think that would be quite insulting to the gal, and she would move on.
The other thing is its possible that when this guy was younger, he was a babe magnet. So now hes older and this triggered something in him.
I really think its over before it even started.
So we all either die or lose our ***sex appeal as we age.
Hope this makes sense.

Inbound1896536404
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Oh well. The censors are working great.

Electric
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aeolians.revenge wrote:
Oh well. The censors are working great.

ALERT! ALERT! Thought criminal on the premises!😋

Inbound1896536404
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You know off topic a bit. Your remark triggered me .
One of the ingredient in all vaccines, is thimisol. Thats mercury.
Mercury is famous for rapid cognitive decline. Nice. Lol
They really dont want us thinking.
They want us so dumbed down,
Ill leave it at that.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
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Neither. He made a judgement call. Now you wish to make a judgement call at either end of the spectrum. You said perhaps. Leave it at that. If you had a change of mind go back and tell him that. Guys hate, hate, hate, games.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
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I agree neither.

But instead of trying to get into the guy's head, I would suggest to you that your mental health will be a lot better if you realize that in some situations, like this one, understanding the other person's motivations may well be impossible.

Not all guys are the same, and, at least in this context, there could be a hundred different reasons why he might have behaved the way he did.

Just take a step back, breath, and move on. I'm sure you didn't hurt his feelings. You were being reasonable. Have faith in yourself. You did nothing wrong. You needed time. You weren't sure how to react. There will be other dudes out there who will be respectful of that. Love yourself.

Help me with:

Advice Post

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1714458374" title="Apr 30, 2024 6:26">Apr 30, 2024 6:26</time>
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soco wrote:
Guys hate, hate, hate, games.

I would put out that some guys really are about the games. Some men love drama as much as some women. I have known such types.


Women gots to be careful of them too.l

Help me with:

Advice Post

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:
I agree neither.

But instead of trying to get into the guy's head, I would suggest to you that your mental health will be a lot better if you realize that in some situations, like this one, understanding the other person's motivations may well be impossible.

Not all guys are the same, and, at least in this context, there could be a hundred different reasons why he might have behaved the way he did.

Just take a step back, breath, and move on. I'm sure you didn't hurt his feelings. You were being reasonable. Have faith in yourself. You did nothing wrong. You needed time. You weren't sure how to react. There will be other dudes out there who will be respectful of that. Love yourself.

Thank you so much for your comment!

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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aeolians.revenge wrote:
females seldom understand the full brunt of rejection.
You may have recieved a taste of your own medicine.

Thank you! It was my reaction to him because it came out so randomly which caught me off guard. Medicine part most likely but I was also thinking the baggage he has with him. A 12 Yr old child. Too young to be a step mum. He also asked me for money as well.

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Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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BA1 wrote:
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
I somewhat agree with my brothers, above.

Females seldom understand the full brunt (a guy goes through) when they reject him.

I see what you mean
Thanks for commenting and your comment made me reflect on things

First you told him you needed time to think (about it).

BUT that thought was based on a principal of age (and seemingly nothing of more considerable value)....
He's already older and he knows it. He has entered a period of his life where his chances of finding love become less and less.

EDIT wrote:
"I'll think about it."
The worse possible thing to say to anyone - here's why -
As children, we all grew up with parents who told us they would "think about it," when we asked certain things that would fuel our excitement.
In the end, "I'll think about," meant "NO." And after nursing on the tit of disappointment for so long, we tend to adopt the same strategy instead of making things bluntly clear.

So now, you've presented him with the ultimate no win situation. In order to say, "I'll think about it," he has to deal with the shameful situation of hearing a younger lady pull a parenting tactic when the irony is he's older than you....That's Part One.....

The final chapter comes in when, from that position of assumed authority, you measured the very issue of his age back to him.

"I'm willing to get to know you, but let me think about it because of our age difference."
👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆👆
That's what you might have said, but here's the subliminal undertone he's getting -
👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

"No. You're too old for love."

And telling him that you're "willing to get to know him," is (in one sense), like saying, "we can still be friends," which is a customary and classic kick in the nuts most every guy is familiar with regardless of age.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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NacthoMan wrote:
he probably moved on - thats my guess.. first u told him you needed time to think.

.. how long was it before you said you were willing to get to know him?

I told him two weeks after he expressed his interest towards me

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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soco wrote:
Neither. He made a judgement call. Now you wish to make a judgement call at either end of the spectrum. You said perhaps. Leave it at that. If you had a change of mind go back and tell him that. Guys hate, hate, hate, games.

I told him but he didn't do anything. This was a few months ago. I don't think about him that much but I wanted to hear the male's perspective. I wish him all the best though.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:

soco wrote:
Guys hate, hate, hate, games.

I would put out that some guys really are about the games. Some men love drama as much as some women. I have known such types.


Women gots to be careful of them too.l

Yeah I was a bit weary in the beginning because I felt he was using me financially before he expressed his interest towards me

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(23 hours after post)
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Thank you all for your input! I really needed that. I hope you are all keeping safe during the cov-19 crisis

Electric
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last online: 01/25, 20:20
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Please bear in mind that I (or anyone here) can only reply based upon the information you present.

Anonymous Poster wrote:
Yeah I was a bit weary in the beginning because I felt he was using me financially before he expressed his interest towards me.

Had I known about this earlier, I would have considered it as a thought shaping circumstance.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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BA1 wrote:
Please bear in mind that I (or anyone here) can only reply based upon the information you present.

Anonymous Poster wrote:
Yeah I was a bit weary in the beginning because I felt he was using me financially before he expressed his interest towards me.

Had I known about this earlier, I would have considered it as a thought shaping circumstance.

No worries.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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Thank you all for helping me. I really do appreciate it and I hope you all are keeping safe. Thank you kindly.

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