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Should I have an extramarital affair?

Well I've totally wrecked things now. I've arranged to meet with the object of my infatuation. What the hell have I done to myself?

I need some unattractive friends. ๐Ÿ˜ All my friends are so beautiful and gentle-hearted, I can't help but love them.

Pretty sure if I cross over into "cheating" I'll be homeless with my kids and cats.

Edit: it's just lunch with a friend, but ....

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How do you make friends as an adult?

soco wrote:
Places of worship still work. Find one you like and attend regularly. Get involved in outreach projects. There are single men and women everywhere unless its a couples only type gathering. To reach a guys heart, start with his tummy. Give him something great to eat!

Not looking for that kind of love, just folks to hang with, talk about life the universe and everything, go for hikes or walks, drink tea, and maybe learn some new ways of seeing the world.

I do political and environmental causes, not religion. I have my beliefs, but other folks whose beliefs are similar are from a different universe. (For starters I'm white, poor, and Muslim and it gets weirder from there.)

I have acquaintances. How do I make the jump from acquaintance to friend? I always invite people to meet for coffee or tea, and for the past fifteen years only one person has ever accepted that invitation. Do I need to be more interesting, or maybe I simply need a different invitation?

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How do you make friends as an adult?

Padre_J_Roulston wrote:
Smiley, the only way I have found to make friends as an adult, is to join a group or a workplace, and one of the existing members adopts you... so to speak. If there is some other way, I'd be interested to know what it is. :)

If I find an answer, I'll let you know. I'm usually the one left out of workplace social gatherings. I've never "fit in" with other engineers. I do have some wonderful internet friends, and folks I've kept contact with over the years.

When I used to go to church I had some nice friends, but they dropped me like a hot potato when I decided their religion wasn't right for me. They seemed nice anyway. They sat with me in the hospital while I was giving birth to my second son and my then-husband went bowling.

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How do you make friends as an adult?

I walk in my neighborhood every evening. I frequent the public library. I'm in two community organizations. I put my garden in my front yard and occasionally passersby ask about it. I'm nice but not particularly friendly. I smile and say hello, and they reply back, but I have no idea what is supposed to happen next.

Had a conversation with a neighbor about bees the other day. Might join a local beekeeping group.

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Should I have an extramarital affair?

It's a bit of a catch-22 isn't it? Men don't want emotional intimacy unless there is physical intimacy and women don't want physical intimacy unless there is emotional intimacy. I guess someone just has to suck it up and do what they don't want to do. I guess that's always me. Ugh.

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Should I go to trade school?

Padre_J_Roulston wrote:
If you want to make the parts then you would need to be a machinist. But manufacturing is quite a bit more complex, than attaching/removing parts.

Well that's why I thought of it, but it's a long-term "more idea than plan". I'm just tired of doing what I have been and looking for a new challenge. I want to ultimately be able to build my own machines for automation, but I've got to use it where I can along the way.

I tried to fill the online application for community college and it told me my name was wrong. I called for help and their records specialist is out of town for a week, so I guess it's on hold for now.

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Should I go to trade school?

I thought of it because I bought a 96 Toyota station wagon. It's nearly impossible to find replacement parts because the car is so uncommon anymore. If I could build replacement parts myself, this could be the last car I ever have to own.

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Should I have an extramarital affair?

Anonymous wrote:
Why do you feel like you need to pretend to be attracted to him?

I mean, ain't I s'posed to be attracted to my spouse? But I won't be attracted unless there's emotional connection.

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Should I have an extramarital affair?

I recognize that's it's just infatuation, but the problem is that I would even consider it. This is not how I am. I'm isolated, unappreciated, overworked, and bored. But that's no excuse to put myself in a position to develop a mutual infatuation with a friend who is in a similar situation. Fortunately for both of us, we live far apart and have little opportunity to meet anyway.

The other day my husband washed the dishes once. That was new. Being part of the household rather than acting like a guest is something. But we used to be friends and now we never talk, and when I try to make conversion he gives short irritated sounding answers as if it's a nuisance to listen and reply. How the heck am I supposed to bring up the subject of attraction when we can't even talk about the day? And how in the world am I supposed to pretend to be attracted to someone who is basically a stranger?

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Should I go to trade school?

I looked at the cost of community college. A whole degree might be more than I can afford right now, but a class or two is feasible. But first I'll check what my local library has. That's a brilliant idea, and I love wandering through the library.

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