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780 replies, Replies 401 to 410

I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

DocteurRalph wrote:
The best place in the world is Nashville,Tennessee. Y'all come down now, y'hear?

Sherlock wrote:
My son is there!

I never even considered the middle of America. Oops ๐Ÿ˜… thatโ€™s most of the US Iโ€™m missing out on!

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Advice needed.

BTW I just read a fantastic comment on Reddit in response to a similar post:

Life is ****shit. But itโ€™s yours.

I tried to kill myself once. It didnโ€™t take. Since then Iโ€™ve lost more jobs than I can count, too many family members have passed, my partner had a stroke & is now blind and my son is a compulsive liar who hates me. But ****fuck it, I live on. Why? Because Iโ€™ll be damned if I let the bullshit in my life get the better of me.

I grew up wanting to become the best in the world at something. Then as I got older I decided that Iโ€™d settle for just leaving a mark - any mark - on society. Now itโ€™s just surviving till the next day.

The urge to end things will be strong. And itโ€™s probably not gonna go away. But you need to find your center. Your mantra. What is worth living for? There is always something. Even if itโ€™s something as negative as to spite the universe itself. Or something as stupid as Cadbury Creme Eggs. Iโ€™d kill for one of those.

When I go - and it will be on my *******fucking terms - Iโ€™m gonna stride up to whatever deity has sought fit to turn my life into a melodrama and kick them square in the crotch before I rip their head off. That image alone has kept me going through many a tough time.

And while my partner and son need taking care of - and Iโ€™m the only one able to do so at present - I will still look to the thought above and smile. Iโ€™m not going until Iโ€™m ready. Donโ€™t you go until youโ€™re ready. because you donโ€™t sound ready. You sound emotional, and down, and like the weight of everything has fallen into your shoulders. Thatโ€™s not you being ready to accept your fate. Thatโ€™s taking the easy way out to shed the weight from your shoulders.

Take a deep breath, scream your lungs out, punch a punching bag until the sand falls out, do whatever you need to do to calm your mind and ask yourself where you wish you had been rather than where you are. Visualise asking your pre-teen self. Tell them what you feel and hear what your mind has to say about it.

Just donโ€™t let the universe get the better of you. Thereโ€™s a whole lotta ******fucked up ****shit out there, and youโ€™re not getting through it without getting a little dirty. But you can get through it. Nothing worth getting is easy to get - a fun king stupid saying but the most truthful of all that Iโ€™ve come across - and life is well worth it.

And look, weโ€™ve all done horrible things, or things we regret. Thatโ€™s life. We ****fuck up, it is in our nature. What defines us is how we recover from that. Donโ€™t regret the things youโ€™ve done. You did them. You learned from it. You made you more... you. Offing yourself just proves you havenโ€™t learned anything. Donโ€™t make that mistake, learn from whatever ****shit youโ€™re in now and transform. Use this moment as a starting block for a new era in your life.

The world is out there. I should know, itโ€™s been mocking me for years. But it can be faced, and even defeated. You can conquer your own demons and give the universe the finger. You just have to know where to start. For some itโ€™s believing in yourself. For others itโ€™s knowing they believe in you. Find what you need inside to keep going and strive for it. I canโ€™t guarantee youโ€™ll be happy right away, but youโ€™ll be showing the universe what you can do.

And when you do, punch it in the gut for me.

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Advice needed.

DragonLady wrote:
Change the self-defeating voice in your head to one that never, ever, ever abandons or judges you.

You choose the way you speak to yourself, and when you change that, everything else changes, too.

Instead of "oh, what a loser I am" make it "okay, that didn't work; I'll try again". It might take some time and practice, but you can do it.

LOTS of time and practice. My therapist used to tell me this too.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

Lano wrote:
Something that many have told me is make sure you can handle the climate whereever you move.

I can handle any weather - in VA, we experience every single season. Itโ€™s also ridiculously humid.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

Sherlock wrote:
Gas is outrageously expensive in Southern California--between $4 and $5 per gallon. A cracker box house can cost a million. The cost of living is astronomical. People are very rude in LA.

Of course, in SoCal you have good weather pretty much year-round, and it's supposed to be the "hippest" place in the nation.

I wouldn't move there because of their ridiculous gun laws.

Ha, I just have to show Andy this post lol, he would never move to CA then. I donโ€™t even know how many guns he owns. A lot of them.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

verge wrote:
I have travelled a lot in CA and think that it's hard to find anything cheap. The cheaper places in South California are deserty and a constant fire hazard. Northern CA is beautiful, super expensive, and also a fire hazard. You won't find cheaper than you're paying now up there probably. Out of everywhere I've been I got the feeling that the south was the most easy going and it's definitely cheaper if you're not right near DC. Anywhere that's not a big city is easier though, why not just move further from DC?

Yeah, I would lean towards that - Andy really wants to do west coast but I donโ€™t want to move that far away from my family. Iโ€™m open to it, but not in love with it. Even southern VA is affordable, honestly.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

Yorick wrote:
haha, well i wasn't living there independently if that's what you were wondering. I lived in the SF bay area on a military base when i was a child. I still remember how the weather was.. cool rainy green winters and warm and dry summers. As for other parts of California i was always told San Diego,CA weather was almost constantly 70 degrees..might need verification on that.

as for cost of living over there these days.. i got curious again.. so i looked up

https://www.extraspace.com/blog/moving/city-gui...

by comparison.. nova/dc/md area is a rip off.

DMV is definitely a rip off lol.

SF weather sounds amazing.

Side note: I asked my husband if he would be willing to re-enlist so we could move through deployment and he very emphatically said no. I canโ€™t write what he said verbatim here haha.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

Slash wrote:
There is nothing on the West coast that is "laid back" or "inexpensive," when compared to the East coast - you just get a different version of the same thing, however....
I will say this; I have just very recently moved from a very expensive State to a State in the deep south. I gotta say, living IS cheaper, traffic is low and if it were anymore laid back, it'd be a cemetery.

I always assumed the west coast was laid back compared to the Washington DC area. Too much television, I guess lol.

I want things to slow down, but not THAT slow. I think I would get bored ๐Ÿ˜ The days go by so fast for me here, though. I never get a chance to enjoy anything and Iโ€™m constantly working, or studying to better myself. Itโ€™s... great. I would like to find some sort of medium, although itโ€™s also fair to say that starts internally and isnโ€™t just 100% environmental factors like where you live.

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

smiley wrote:
West Virginia is beautiful, and a lovely place to visit, and cost of living is low, but the entire state suffers from poor economy, lack of good jobs, rampant drug and alcohol addictions and tragedies associated with that, and environmental abuses. Don't go live there unless you are prepared to accept these troubles, preferably including keeping a stockpile of clean water.

Definitely sounds like I would be better off just visiting, then!

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I was born and raised in the same state my entire life.

Yorick wrote:
i have lived in upstate NY, and California at other times in my life

What was it like living in CA and how did you manage to go from one coast to the other without becoming homeless? ๐Ÿ˜‚

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