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39 replies, Replies 31 to 39

Do you think stay at home moms are lazy?

From seeing what my stepmom does for my little brother as a sahm, she works endlessly, I tried to get her to 'relax' with me at times, and she never had time to do that, except for maybe an hour a week, if that. I think the results of being a sahm are very rewarding if it's done right, and for those who can afford it. My mother couldn't - before she got divorced, both my parents worked and I was sent to my grandmother or a day-care centre, or stayed home alone when I was old enough. There are pros and cons: I missed time with my mother that I wanted, the bonding-time was limited; on the upside, I learnt responsibility(cooking and cleaning while balancing school and friends). Also, there was no authority around to enforce a shared workload, so it all fell on me (my siblings being the lazier ones - and I was and am a pretty lazy person in general). I don't really think it's a positive or negative thing for me personally, but it did shape me into the person I am today, somewhat obsessive about cleaning...

If I could choose, I'd have opted for a sahm, but I'm sure if she had been lazy, I'd choose differently.

I'm getting a degree now, so that I can work before (and after) I have kids, when the day comes, I'll probably be a sahm when it's crucial for their development, then I'll transition to working part-time when they're old enough. Honestly, I'd love to home-school, but I'm not sure I have the patience for it. I don't think of sahm as lazy, you can quickly tell the lazy from the hard-working, and I think it also depends on your surrounding community, they determine the general outlook on sahm vs. 'working' mothers.

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Wedding dresses...

soco wrote:
Go to Etsy. Search for WeddingDressFantasy in Teaneck, NJ. Owners name is Tova Marc. She does custom work.

Thank you for this suggestion, I was searching Etsy too but didn't come across this :)

PepperJ wrote:
Love that idea...never saw one of these dresses before. How neat. Hope you find one

Thank you, I love this style, I didn't think I'd like plaid in a dress, but some dresses look so amazing with it.

Big-Al-One wrote:
A hybrid dress is sometimes better than "authentic" because it is more personal and expresses who you are as an individual.

When is the wedding?

You're so right, but custom dresses are often very expensive, and I want something simple, elegant and inexpensive. Haven't set an exact date yet. My parents' and SO's are meeting for the first time in a few days (since they're visiting from Colorado and we're in IL). Once we get engaged officially, we will start planning, he ordered a ring for me a few days ago, I'm excited :)

DocteurRalph wrote:
Yeah when's the wedding? Is there a wedding or are you just wanting a wedding dress to go hang out at bars with? Just kidding as always, but for some reason I thought you just got married. No your sister got married? There were wedding pictures on FB that much I'm sure of. It's been a long time these things get scrambled in my old brain.

Lol, I will hang out in bars with it for sure ;) but there is a wedding being planned. The wedding photos you saw were my friends' and I was a bridesmaid in it. I hope my sister isn't married, since I didn't hear about it :/

soco wrote:
Manthy would like a June wedding. She is not officially engaged yet because he has not purchased a ring. To her that is unimportant. They are spiritually committed to one another and that is what matters most.
Regardless of when it occurs I support them both and wish only true bliss and happiness.

Thank you soco! With the ring on the way, I feel I can start with the planning, I've always been too impatient to wait. It's his birthday in a few days, and I get too excited to even keep his gift a secret from him. Although, I told him what it is, I stretched the truth a bit, so he will still be surprised ๐Ÿ˜‰

Prttytrisha wrote:
I LOVE that last one!!!

On Etsy, Outlanderweddings makes the sorts of 'Celtic' dresses with/without hoods for $150-$250 depending on the style, they also customise the colours. https://www.etsy.com/shop/Outlanderweddings/ite...

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Hey, I'm here, glad to see the place is back to some form of normal.

DocteurRalph wrote:
I thought you were ManthyT or something. I remember most everybody here, but I sure don't remember aria having a David Bowie avatar. Is that new?

I was, but i think I like just 'Manthy' more :)

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Hey, I'm here, glad to see the place is back to some form of normal.

Thank you Jalex :)

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Mera

That is awful, I'm truly sorry for your experience. It's good that you decided to leave when you did and seek help elsewhere. Although we have a good community of friendly people here, we are all human and fall prey to such confusion. And it seems like this 'person' sent everyone spiralling down some paranoid hole, turning friends against one another.

I'm glad you decided to return after all that :)

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Mera

Wow, I'm really glad I wasn't around for the whole mess :/

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Hey, I'm here, glad to see the place is back to some form of normal.

Pleasure to meet you too, Aria :)

Hey PepperJ! I spent my thanksgiving with my SO and parents, he's finally warming up to my folks.

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Hey, I'm here, glad to see the place is back to some form of normal.

2010 is when I became a help user so it seems we had just missed one another, Aria.

BigWilly, glad to see you around here :)

there's something about the format of this site that attracts a person, helptogo just seemed like a mess

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Hey, I'm here, glad to see the place is back to some form of normal.

I was on the original help site, and very sporadic on the helptogo site. I've gone by so many names now, but manthy is probably the one most know me by. South Africans don't celebrate it either, but living in the US, one does strange things...
I don't believe I've seen your name either, though.

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