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How do you help someone who's fiance cancels the wedding a week before the day?

I'm trying to help someone but I don't know what to do any suggestions or if anyone has been through this before

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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day, suggestions, week, wedding, cancels
Replies (18)
Electric
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last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(17 minutes after post)
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It really helps to know who did the cancelling - him or her?
For now, all you can do is stand and be ready to support them in their time of need.

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Anonymous
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(43 minutes after post)
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It was the guy who cancelled the wedding

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Anonymous
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(44 minutes after post)
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Thanks for the advice much appreciated

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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They're probably feeling both embarrassed and heartbroken. What would you want in that situation? Maybe to get drunk and have a safe rebound fling. Safe being the keyword.

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Anonymous
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(3 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:
They're probably feeling both embarrassed and heartbroken. What would you want in that situation? Maybe to get drunk and have a safe rebound fling. Safe being the keyword.

.

I'm giving them space but everyone is different and I just wanted more suggestions on how to support someone in that situation

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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Anonymous wrote:

Lano wrote:
They're probably feeling both embarrassed and heartbroken. What would you want in that situation? Maybe to get drunk and have a safe rebound fling. Safe being the keyword.

I'm giving them space but everyone is different and I just wanted more suggestions on how to support someone in that situation

I was half joking....half.

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Anonymous
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(3 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Lano wrote:
They're probably feeling both embarrassed and heartbroken. What would you want in that situation? Maybe to get drunk and have a safe rebound fling. Safe being the keyword.

Loool 😂 oh ok. Thanks

I'm giving them space but everyone is different and I just wanted more suggestions on how to support someone in that situation

I was half joking....half.

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Anonymous
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(3 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Lano wrote:
They're probably feeling both embarrassed and heartbroken. What would you want in that situation? Maybe to get drunk and have a safe rebound fling. Safe being the keyword.

I'm giving them space but everyone is different and I just wanted more suggestions on how to support someone in that situation

I was half joking....half.

Looooool 😂 oh ok thanks

Electric
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last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(11 hours after post)
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Traditionally, it's the woman who overturns a wedding.

Being as how it was the groom in this case, I'm sure he risks demonization but that depends on the curcumstances.

Do they (still) live together? Did they live together to begin with?

There must be an 'official' report - why did he cancel the wedding?

Answers to question such as these provide elements to help navigate effective action as a friend to the couple.

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Anonymous
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(12 hours after post)
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BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
Traditionally, it's the woman who overturns a wedding.

Being as how it was the groom in this case, I'm sure he risks demonization but that depends on the curcumstances.

Do they (still) live together? Did they live together to begin with?

There must be an 'official' report - why did he cancel the wedding?

Answers to question such as these provide elements to help navigate effective action as a friend to the couple.

They do not live together. They were planning to after they get married. The woman is not ready to tell mev what happened because she is too hurt at the moment. I feel like I'm not supporting her enough.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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(15 hours after post)
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Its harder to support if you dont know what happened.

Im bad at supporting people cus when do the "what would i want" check, its usually to deal with things on my own, cus thats my lizardy self and instincts.

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Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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(19 hours after post)
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cry with her, drink gin with her, call him a **** ***** ***** *** with her, and watch break up movies with her. Sometimes being there and not talking is the best remedy

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SmartAZ
last online: 10/30, 23:08
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Mind your own business. He or she will tell you if help is needed. Otherwise, stay out of it.

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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There is no one to blame here. What it basically boils down to is the s%@t was about to get real and someone wasn't ready. The decision to call off the wedding is a blessing, not a curse. Is there some pain? Of course. But trying to drink or call the other person names does absolutely zero to make that pain go away. Nothing. If possible they both should be willing to keep lines of communication open though that might take time. Right now both are feeling the loss of being in love and that feeling of love being severely stepped on. Like Nix said, just be there for them. No words you can say will help. Just your willingness to listen and be close is enough. Let the person grieve though. Be supportive without placing blame.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Anonymous
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(2 days after post)
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Lano wrote:
Its harder to support if you dont know what happened.

Im bad at supporting people cus when do the "what would i want" check, its usually to deal with things on my own, cus thats my lizardy self and instincts.

Thank you for your response.

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Anonymous
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(2 days after post)
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Nix wrote:
cry with her, drink gin with her, call him a **** ***** ***** *** with her, and watch break up movies with her. Sometimes being there and not talking is the best remedy

Thank you. At the moment, she does not want to meet with anyone yet but thanks for the reply.

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Anonymous
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(2 days after post)
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SmartAZ wrote:
Mind your own business. He or she will tell you if help is needed. Otherwise, stay out of it.

OK thank you for your response. The comment sounds a bit harsh but I can see where you are coming from

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Anonymous
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(2 days after post)
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soco wrote:
There is no one to blame here. What it basically boils down to is the s%@t was about to get real and someone wasn't ready. The decision to call off the wedding is a blessing, not a curse. Is there some pain? Of course. But trying to drink or call the other person names does absolutely zero to make that pain go away. Nothing. If possible they both should be willing to keep lines of communication open though that might take time. Right now both are feeling the loss of being in love and that feeling of love being severely stepped on. Like Nix said, just be there for them. No words you can say will help. Just your willingness to listen and be close is enough. Let the person grieve though. Be supportive without placing blame.

Many thanks for this very helpful. 🙂

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