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Marriage is like drowning: kind of nice, once you stop struggling.

written () ago

You don't buy beer, you only rent it.

written () ago

GRITS: Cream of Wheat with a quality control problem.

written () ago

What's your unfavorite food?

I finally got my head together.

written () ago

Now my body's falling apart!

It ain't easy being a doctor.

written () ago

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SmartAZ's Top (5) Replies by other users' votes
If I gave you

If I were to say yes you would try to hold me to my promise, and that would refute your promise to ask nothing in return.

- written - voted for by DragonLady
Is this weird?

Yes, that's weird. That is 12% weirder than Dracula making a deposit at the blood bank.

- written - voted for by DragonLady
Best place to donate clothing?

Salvation Army gets so many clothes that most are passed on to flea market dealers, and any that are in lousy condition go into the trash. If you want to be sure you actually help someone, ask a church where the need is. A homeless shelter is a good place to check. If you really really want to help, give a box of sox. I'm told that homeless people go through sox real fast. If you check around, you can get imperfect sox by the case for very low prices.

- written - voted for by smiley
How to stop stress?

Drug stores carry a vitamin called B-100. One a day and you can handle almost any level of stress. Vitamin B2 is a water soluble dye that makes urine bright yellow. When the color fades, it's time for another pill.

- written - voted for by mo84

Uh, ... chocolate?

- written - voted for by soco
Last 5 Replies - All 69 Replies ยป
Any Batman fans out there?

Batman sues Batman over Batman

The mayor of Batman, Turkey, is suing Warner Bros. and The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan for using the Cape Crusader's name without the city's permission.

No suit has actually been filed, probably because the city changed its name toBatman almost twenty years after the first issue of the comic book hit the stands. It seems obvious that the mayor only wanted to attract tourists to his city.

- written
Why do we love roman and greek mythology?

Because there is so much of it, and it is so graphic. A search for a single word, the name of any mythical god, finds many pages of images and stories.

You don't have to read many pages in history to realize that the sky above the Earth looked very different just a few thousand years ago. You might wonder why the ancients named their god after a planet that most people now can't even point to. Well, they were quite explicit about that: they didn't worship gods named for planets, they worshiped the planets. In ancient days, Jupiter and Saturn dominated the sky, and Venus and Mars put on quite a show for a long time.

Here is a careful investigation of ancient myths and legends, considering stories in hundreds of languages from all over the world and going back to 10,500 BC. It is very long, and it is still in progress.

- written
You don't buy beer, you only rent it.

soco wrote:
The same could be said for anything we ingest.
Except for air.

Not so. Beer goes through you so fast because it doesn't have to stop and change color.

- written
Don't treat others as you would like to be treated.

I understand your point. I even agree with it, except for one thing. Just because everybody else is a jerk, that doesn't mean you have to be a jerk too. Some people are jerks just because they have never seen a non-jerk.

- written
Am I missing something?

Sometimes you just have to face the fact that you are surrounded by idiots.

I get interrupted a lot. Some people will ask me a question and then interrupt the answer. I get so tired of being interrupted that I stop talking, turn my back, and walk away. And people think I am rude when I do that! Surrounded by idiots!

- written
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