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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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Im feeling quite upset today.

My friend with bipolar is having mania and is really unstable and said about killing himself because hes upest with me.

Already talking with his sis and theyre getting psychiatrist to talk with him tomorrow. He went missing today but hes back home now. Hes my best friend.

Dad has emphysema and both parents laoded with cold. Mam gets chest pain.

My rabbit is home. Carer manager had said they would help clean her out for about 2 years or so. But when got her back said they can. But one is secretly helping me anyway. Shhhhhhh!

Carers been upset with me and i had no idea. Always thought we had a great relatinship. One carrer has spoke with me today though since she feels comfortable with me.

Im sad that they didnt feel comfortable to talk with me themselves. They maybe dont trust me. Fel they are harrassing the GP surgery when its the surgery who are putting barriers up against me. They dont want to be involved incase it goes wrong and they get into bother.

Parents say that i might have to come home and i was fighting for my life last time i was there.

Parents are coming at weekends. But can get fined ยฃ1000 for laeaving the house with a cold or whatever it is.

I am geetting more poorly and ithink soon i will become unstable. But there will be no one to catch me

Im still trying to get rght support for communication

I tink carers feel undcomfortable but i was unable and shared too much .

Carer is gonna talk with them. They feel i am nit pickig and constantly rigning buzzeer but not understanding its to do with my cogntion and miscommunication.

Worried about family with this virus. If heart failure took me it would be easier. Its quite calming to have heart failure anyway.

And on to i dont need pepe telling what i can or cant share or what i can or cant say.

I think i am going to end up with losing alot of friends soon and possibly some family swell.

I need to tell my sister and her family about what is going on but i doubt she will listen to me and could even disown me. I want to keep my family safe but pople do not value what i have to say. They only listen to the authorities.

And then al i can hold on to is faith in god.. which is alot more than others have . Must tstay strong.

There is no way the surgery wil help me right now and i doubt the social services will help me right no.

They offered an advocate service but i dont know how they can help.

On a brighter note since my carers partner is off work she is gonna try come to mine more ot help out more. Other carers no longer want to do phone calls or letters to people anymore cos dont want to be involved or feel theyre harrrassing people. So it seems they think i am in the wrong perhaps.

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Since writing this post Jetmoo may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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feel, talk, family, surgery, carers
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Original Poster
Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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I feeling quite alone. Cant hug people and had to keep myself together with my carer so didnt cry. Because i need her to feel comfortable with me

I feel i shouldnt cry in front of carers now. Theyre confusing saying certain things are ok but they mot truely feeling that way

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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(16 minutes after post)
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The more i go on fb the more alone i feel.

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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(19 minutes after post)
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I cant even talk with my best friend

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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Ive stopped crying. But this is my life at present @Gone @BA1

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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If you are not at home where are you? Is this temporary or permanent? You want to hug people but are frightened of people even touching you; hence the lack of a hygiene regimen. Please correct if I'm mistaken.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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(7 hours after post)
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Im at home. Im not sure if im frightened of touching people. But i know they don't want to hug me becos the virus going around.

Lack of hygiene isnt related. Thats to do with lack of health and social care support.

I never know what is permanent or temporary these days. Its a take each day as it comes type thing i think

Van morrison
lirou
last online: 10/18, 1:24
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Hello :) I dont think we've talked before but Ive read through a few of your posts in the past and that led me to read up on your condition because I really knew nothing about it and was honestly blown away by some of the things you've written. I've been amazed though too at how positive and humorous and helpful you can be, even with what youre going through. I've also been appalled at what sounds like a serious lack of care and compassion at times from people around you. I can imagine its even harder now with what's going on in the world currently, but it seems like you've been dealing with these issues for awhile already. It sounds like all you need is just one trusted, patient, compassionate person to help you with some of the assistance youre seeking and it sounds like even that has been a challenge to find and keep.

I live in America and I don't know exactly what a carer's duties encompass in the U.K., but anyone providing personal care should realize it extends beyond the physical, to the emotional and mental well-being of the person also. They should be willing to advocate for you in getting the best care and living the best life you possibly can. I just want to say Im sorry you have to deal with that right now, but there are people who care, even on the other side of the world, so please remember that when you're having a really bad day. I believe the root of most people's problems can be traced back to a lack of care and compassion somewhere, so know that you're not alone in that struggle either. We just all need to be better for each other. I hope you're feeling better today and getting what you need. :)

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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(1 month after post)
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lirou wrote:
Hello :) I dont think we've talked before but Ive read through a few of your posts in the past and that led me to read up on your condition because I really knew nothing about it and was honestly blown away by some of the things you've written. I've been amazed though too at how positive and humorous and helpful you can be, even with what youre going through. I've also been appalled at what sounds like a serious lack of care and compassion at times from people around you. I can imagine its even harder now with what's going on in the world currently, but it seems like you've been dealing with these issues for awhile already. It sounds like all you need is just one trusted, patient, compassionate person to help you with some of the assistance youre seeking and it sounds like even that has been a challenge to find and keep.

I live in America and I don't know exactly what a carer's duties encompass in the U.K., but anyone providing personal care should realize it extends beyond the physical, to the emotional and mental well-being of the person also. They should be willing to advocate for you in getting the best care and living the best life you possibly can. I just want to say Im sorry you have to deal with that right now, but there are people who care, even on the other side of the world, so please remember that when you're having a really bad day. I believe the root of most people's problems can be traced back to a lack of care and compassion somewhere, so know that you're not alone in that struggle either. We just all need to be better for each other. I hope you're feeling better today and getting what you need. :)

That is beautiful. Thank you so much! โค such kind words. The only thing that has kept me going truly is my faith. When i have fslt like breaking down i leanes on my god and he has been there for me.
It has been hard but with god by my side, what can man do to me ๐Ÿ˜Š

I have been learning so much in the bible and i find peace with it.

I had to find peace because i had become resentful and was becoming bitter and i didnt like it. So i searched online of how to overcome it and it led me to the bible.

And it is so true that we must love our neighbour and turn the other cheek as hard as it may be.

Two wrongs dont make a right. I had to change. Sometimes i still feel angry at certain people but not auite so much but i still feel very confused with my dr.

So much has happened since this post. And my god has led me to know what steps to take when i ask him for guidence

Its bee a hard journey but i want to follow my father and christ and whatever happens in this lifetime will not so much matter so long as i live according to christs teachings.

Love always wins. I have been trying to win with love but i am still trying to figure it out and still learning

Van morrison
lirou
last online: 10/18, 1:24
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Its so good to hear youre doing ok and feeling better! Love does always win! When I get frustrated with people I try to remember that we were all innocent once. We all started out good. The world is a hard place to live in and it hardens people. Everyone has something or many things they're dealing with, much of it unseen by others. The world needs more love and compassion. Keep that light around you!

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Jetmoo
last online: 11/13, 0:06
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(1 month after post)
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lirou wrote:
Its so good to hear youre doing ok and feeling better! Love does always win! When I get frustrated with people I try to remember that we were all innocent once. We all started out good. The world is a hard place to live in and it hardens people. Everyone has something or many things they're dealing with, much of it unseen by others. The world needs more love and compassion. Keep that light around you!

Beautiful. Thank you

A
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