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Bejbybird
Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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I need to forget about a guy..

..really trying hard not to call him, but miss him so much. :(

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Since writing this post Mya may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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guy, hard, call, forget
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Lano
last online: 11/14, 3:18
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I'm sorry. Guys are terrible, in my experience. Makes me glad I'm a lizard, and not a guy. I'm assuming there is a good reason why you want to forget him. Just remember that and keep going. Distract yourself, get a hobby, meet new people.

Help me with:

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Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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Lano wrote:
I'm sorry. Guys are terrible, in my experience. Makes me glad I'm a lizard, and not a guy. I'm assuming there is a good reason why you want to forget him. Just remember that and keep going. Distract yourself, get a hobby, meet new people.

Lol, haven't tried a lizard yet. :) Not saying he is terrible. He is all fine.. as long as I am not dragged into his world.

There are many reasons why I need to forget him, yes. Am just about to write them all in a list, and plaster it all over my room wall; hope that helps! Thanks, Lano.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
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(5 hours after post)
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#1 He's not going to change.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I understand completely. But you just need to give it time. It takes a long time to get over someone that was a big part of your life. Try and distract yourself by doing things. I find volunteering in my free time helps a lot

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Sully
last online: 07/05, 6:08
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Love is not an emotion. Like is. Lust certainly is.

Love is the measure of what you are willing to sacrifice to keep someone in your life. Or even to keep them in your moment right at that moment. There are times when we love our book/TV show/game/night out with friends/food more than our significant others... That's OK!

Love is also a one way street. It isn't what they are willing to sacrifice to stay with you... Only what you are willing to sacrifice to stay with them. There love for you IS INDEPENDENT and SEPARATE from your love for them! Don't get into the argument of what you give up for them and comparing that to what they give up for you! The values are all subjective and coffee may have a much greater/lesser significance to them than it does to you.

So, look at that guy and think about what you like about him and ask yourself, is it worth the sacrifice to keep him in my life? What do I really need to give up to have this work? List those things. If you are not willing to loose them... There is your answer.

Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
#1 He's not going to change.

Thank you, Big-al-one! :) Yes, he couldn't even if he wanted - he's 9 years younger, and for me it is a big problem :/

..But not saying i myself am perfect! I actually got so many issues that i decided 8 years ago it would be better and safer for everyone if i didn't date. And it indeed was.. So regret i let him talk me into going on a date with him. :/

Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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music=life wrote:
I understand completely. But you just need to give it time. It takes a long time to get over someone that was a big part of your life. Try and distract yourself by doing things. I find volunteering in my free time helps a lot

Thank you, music=life. You are right, it is going to take a long time.. :/ At the moment I still think about him all the time, and can't concentrate on anything else. But it has been just over three days since i told him i wanted to end this.

Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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Yes, Sully, thank you - you nailed it! It is exactly the sacrifices which I am not willing to make, which is the reason.

I love him like I never loved anyone, but we live on two different planets, and I wouldn't want him to sacrifice things he loves either, as we have no longterm future.

I know i need to forget for sure; i am just finding it very hard. :(

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Sully
last online: 07/05, 6:08
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Itemize the list of things to give up. Add a big slash OR slash and his name on the other side. Look at that every day.

Bejbybird
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Mya
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Sully wrote:
Itemize the list of things to give up. Add a big slash OR slash and his name on the other side. Look at that every day.

Yes, thank you. So far, not working :/ #foolisholdwoman

Electric
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Mya wrote:

BIG-AL-ONE wrote:
#1 He's not going to change.

Thank you, Big-al-one! :) Yes, he couldn't even if he wanted - he's 9 years younger, and for me it is a big problem :/

..But not saying i myself am perfect! I actually got so many issues that i decided 8 years ago it would be better and safer for everyone if i didn't date. And it indeed was.. So regret i let him talk me into going on a date with him. :/

....As I see it, the age difference really isn't the problem.

The problem is finding a person with a kindred spirit at any age.

No one is perfect - I'm certainly not - and as I grow older I find parts of myself becoming less perfect, yet, other parts of me grow into mastery.

Don't dispair over your failures - keep failing until you hit it right.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself.

Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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Thanks, BIG-AL-ONE.

I'm past childbearing ability, and he hasn't got any kids yet..

[Quote] I asked her if she believed in love. She smiled and said it was her most elaborate method of self-harm. ~ benedict smith [/Quote]

Glad you are content with yourself, BIG-AL. 8)

I had given it all to Papa up there years ago, and was happy, not wanting to date again.. Now, i don't want to date again, but am not happy. sigh

All the best to you. xx

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I totally get not wanting to date again. I think itโ€™s because going through getting hurt sucks. But remember the good things about dating, falling in love. Heartbreak is a risk you should take bc love is so beautiful. But I do think that for now you should take a break and focus on you. Show yourself some love before giving it away

Bejbybird
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Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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Thanks, music=life. My dream is to foster children and that's where i want to invest all my life into. My daughter is starting uni from September, so my dream of fostering can come true soon. xx

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