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When a close friend suddenly returns phone calls a week after you left a message and says hes been busy what does that really mean?

Prior to this busy excuse we used to talk every day over the phone. Were in diffetent states. I am busy too but i usuaklt always return phone calls. Also this is just a friend nothing more. I dont know what to make of this.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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friend, phone, return, busy, calls
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Druid
Eddieee
last online: 02/21, 19:04
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(26 minutes after post)
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It means something else was their priority for that week.
Or maybe they were in jail for a week and didn't want you to know ;)
Either way, if it persists it means their focus is on something else right now.

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Evansent
last online: 08/18, 9:33
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(33 minutes after post)
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Multiple reasons.

He is generally busy
The message came through late
He has something to hide.

How well do you know him?

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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(58 minutes after post)
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Coming from experience from the "other side" of that worry? It probably means that he was just busy for a week and it preoccupied his mind. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're unimportant or that he is lying to you. In the bigger picture, there is a huge chance that it would probably just mean that he was genuinely busy. Especially if this was just the first time it happened.

I once had to explain myself to a person every single day (and sometimes just every second day) that I wasn't on at a specific "expected" time that wasn't even previously negotiated. They lived in another country and so where on a different timezone. To the point that they would even accuse me of abandoning them and being selfish just for trying to sleep. They once even self-harmed over it...but that's an entirely long story. Point is...they became obsessed with me being there when they required me.

Try not to hit that point. It's a week, not a month. Sometimes (especially long distance) things can happen. Timezones or time management can get difficult and things can come up. Yes, there may be something he is not willing to tell you, but jumping straight to the conclusion that it has to do with you right off the bat, will only make you further paranoid and suspicious, and not to mention extremely make him feel uncomfortable and/or guilty when his absence could have very well been nothing but innocent/unavoidable.

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Anonymous
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(3 hours after post)
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The busy excuse went on for 3 months

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Evansent
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3 months that's not good.

Did you ask him why so long?

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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Okay, yeah, three months is a bit excessive, in my opinion. If I don't talk to someone for 3 months...it's usually (not always, but usually) on purpose.

Either they have something they don't wish to talk to you about, or they view you as expendable. In either case, you don't deserve such treatment and deserve BETTER.

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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However, thinking back on that - did n argument take place? Perhaps the person might feel that avoiding you was justified?

Not that I am attempting to victim blame if not the case, but um...in some of my experiences, the person who is being avoided has made the other person upset/uncomfortable.

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Anonymous
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(5 hours after post)
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No argument. I just dont feel good this. The truth is i am also busy with a career. I also dont own a car and walk to work walk to grocery stores etc. The only people who can understand not having a car are those who dont have a car. So i feel im being put on a shelf. I dont like it. I cant force him to return calls. Mind you we talked every day for years. I dont think this is working any longer. Thanks for your feed back.

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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It means exactly that. Don't try to read any more into it than that.
If and when you can start to read minds and motives, you're going to be busy too touring the country.

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Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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(7 hours after post)
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If no argument, then as Soco said, I wouldn't read too much into it. At long distance, things can become twice as more busy and/or hectic as someone in the same city. I have local friends whom I haven't seen in a year or two just because we are at different paces in life (I also, do not drive) however, when crisis happens, or something important comes up, they are right by my side.

So try not to think too much of it. Even if it is three months (though personally I think that is a bit too much - that is, after all, just me) some people can just get side tracked with things around them - even if you used to talk every day.

If nothing sinister has happened, or nothing to giv off "awkward vibes" do not worry so much unless they behave differently toward you. From what it sounds like...this is the first time, and you haven't mentioned whether it's a constant pattern. If it was, THEN I would start to be really worried.

Until then, keep your wits about you, and try not to jump to too many conclusions. i know it's hard, but sometimes being the more level-headed person can benefit YOU more than anything.

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Anonymous
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(7 hours after post)
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Well like i said i am very very busy but always put my friends before my busy. My instincts tell me we out grew each other. Thanks for your feedback

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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i hope that some of what I said helped. :( If not, I am sorry and I hope that perhaps things settle down or shift in the future.

As maybe one more thing though, it might help to remember that some people sometimes don't think to put their friends before their responsibilities, and sometimes, it can be a bit of a mix and match. For instance, some people see their responsibilities/career first because it pays the bills.

I apologize if that sounds a little skewiff. I didn't know a better way to explain it. A week's worth of sleep deprecation doesn't do my brain good. Lol.

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Aria
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(8 hours after post)
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Deprivation ** Ugh. Sorry!

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Anonymous
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(11 hours after post)
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Thank you.. really apprrciate your response

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(11 hours after post)
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Are you thinking there is more to this relationship than just friendship? Ergo do you have strong feelings that border on love? She may be moving on to someone that is a closer distance and doesn't want to lose your friendship in the process.
That is pure speculation on my part. Since you are anonymous we don't know if you are male afraid to be heartbroken or not. Do not make assumptions about her that you do not know for certain. Jealousy will play many tricks on the mind. Jealousy does not become you.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Me
Silverset
last online: 01/24, 19:56
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(4 days after post)
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What do you want out of the friendship? If you're feeling rejected it's only natural. If he cuts you out more try to work on yourself and live your life :)

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soco
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Silverset wrote:
What do you want out of the friendship? If you're feeling rejected it's only natural. If he cuts you out more try to work on yourself and live your life :)

Rejection or disappointment? Rejection is more of a defensive reaction to a pending end of a relationship. Ergo; blame the other person because you did nothing wrong.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

A
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