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Recent discovery about myself.

I noticed recently and with the help of my therapist that I never use the word ‘I’, I always say ‘we’, even if I did I by myself. And it got me thinking.

Is it because I don’t want to put myself out there to be judge by saying something like ‘I went to the shop’?

Or is it because I don’t feel like an individual? I’m an adult but I still feel like my parents control a huge amount of my life. I don’t feel like a person. And I know my mum doesn’t see me as a person, as an adult. She treats me like a child, and feels that I am being sly or going behind her back if i do something as little as put the heating on without her knowledge (my dad and I decided we were cold).

I just don’t feel like an individual. And I don’t know how people can do things alone. Like celebrities etc put themselves out there to be judged. It scares me. Even tiny normal things like going outside alone. To the shop alone.

Im a freaking adult. But I don’t feel like I can be who I am.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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feel, put, adult, shop, individual
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soco
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You just used I 22 times...

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

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Anonymous
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(18 hours after post)
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With answers like this no wonder the place is dying!

Anonymous
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(21 hours after post)
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Im a freaking adult. Even tiny normal things like going outside alone. To the shop alone.

At seven, I would wake up to an empty apartment, dress for school, eat breakfast, brush my teeth and walk to school. After which I would come home to an empty apartment, eat a snack, take care of expected chores then go outside to "play" until my parents got home. The weekends entailed a bit more adventure. If I wasn't walking I was riding my bike everywhere....at seven, eight and nine years old.
I was never put on put on this earth to really care what was going on around me nor care what others thought of me.
You may appear as an adult but you exhibit all the signs of a self-conscience child needing affirmation just because you managed to put one foot in front of the other.
It's one thing when other people type you as a role, but you can't b!t(# when you accept the part.

But, I don’t feel like I can be who I am.

That's because you don't know who you are.

Billy mills
Lawn
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It sounds like your parents (or mother at least) were overprotective when you were young and it developed into this codependency. Google "codependency" and see if it makes sense as far as your relationship with your mother.

Ultimately you must accept responsibility for improving your life situation regardless of who you think is to blame. Accepting responsibility for your own destiny will help you move beyond self-pity or need for validation.

Anonymous wrote:
Is it because I don’t want to put myself out there to be judge by saying something like ‘I went to the shop’? Or is it because I don’t feel like an individual?

Probably both, but really this is a question you need to answer for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:
Like celebrities etc put themselves out there to be judged.

Don't compare yourself to celebrities. Just compare yourself to yourself from one day ago and try to improve from there. Take small risks. Be strong.

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How difficult is it to build a back-end rest API with Amazon Web Services?

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What you said about fear made a lot of sense to me, it looks like from what you said up there that you’re insecure about a lot of things. Maybe if you build your self esteem you’ll feel more whole and strong to let the world judge you however they want. Honestly, working on self esteem or self love through external things like exercising more and getting a new job can give you a big boost, but it comes from the inside, your own thoughts. So first thing to do is be nice to yourself: positive thoughts, even if they seem too good to be true, and holding yourself accountable: you got to know when you’re avoiding your life out of fear and acknowledge it whether you’re strong enough to face it yet or not. If you keep being nice to yourself you will be strong enough eventually.

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