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210 replies, Replies 201 to 210

Cake mix cookies - why do my cookies turned out either burnt or are too liquid?

Maybe it's the pan your using or the temperature is off

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I guess not..

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But I wasn't very caring.

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I'm not a friend.
I dont want to talk about it. I dont want him to find out and be more bothered by me. I need to keep a low profile. Be unnoticed. If im gonna stay
Not bother people anymore

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Well. I was gonna kill myself Wednesday. I haven't fully settled on the means.vi have a couple options but didn't want to repeat failures. The reason I picked Wednesday is Sunday I work. People are home on weekends
Mondays and Tuesdays I have appointments with dbt and therapy and if i dont show up then they semd a cop out to collect me for inpaitent.
And I try to pick A time I won't be discoved so there's mroe chance I'll be dead or to far gone by the time I'm discovered to be saved.
Wenesday and Thursdays are like that.
And I was thinking about it. And I remembered Padre. And i hadn't remembered him for a while so I figured before I die id like to talk to someone
And padre is connected to the help website. So that's how i ended up back
And I forgot how many people I knew here. So its pleasant but also frightening.

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I am responsible for my own actions.
What's happened to me is not am excuse for who I am.
Besides. Everyone goes through stuff.

My brother didn't turn put like me
He's a great. I'm happy for him.

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Abuse I guess. He was my only real family member asside from my brother.
I still love my dad but he doesnt love me.
My mom went to prison when I was a baby and lost all parental rights but when he got in trouble they gave me to her.

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I used to be on here. Back when I was really young. You all reported my dad to the police and I dont live with him Now.
I know Jonathan. The pastor guy. I think he is one of the top people here.
I left cause I felt like I was annoying. I remember Big Al One too. I think he even made me a profile picture. He annamated a yellow flower for me.
I didn't really like the new help. So i stopped coming.

I think tomorrow I'm gonna be sent back to inpaitent. I have a suspicion police are gonna show up. But maybe not.

I'm not saying my life is bad. Eveeyone has a bad life. Everyone goes through things. I know.
I'm not "special" my situation isn't unique.

I'm just lazy. I'm not willing to work for a good life. I know there are alot if reasons to live and those work for some people. But everything I wanted I dont want anymore. Expecailly now. My therapist is great actually.

It's the phyciatrist I'm afraid of. And im afraid to get a new one cause I feel that is going behind her back and i need to face my conciquences if im gonna be in the world.
I know I could study hard. Work hard. Try harder. And maybe get a good life but its not enough to do it for myself. And anything I could want to make my life something to fight for I've determine wouldn't be in the best interest of someone else.

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Or even that I could have a good moment some day because I just dont desire to live anymore.
It's not worth it to me and I know I dont deserve my life

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I suppose it's true but I guess I'm just lazy and selfish I dont care about the future or being nothing or even

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