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35 replies, Replies 21 to 30

You will be O.K.

Nice post. I needed to read this.๐Ÿ‘

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Im feeling quite upset today.

Hello :) I dont think we've talked before but Ive read through a few of your posts in the past and that led me to read up on your condition because I really knew nothing about it and was honestly blown away by some of the things you've written. I've been amazed though too at how positive and humorous and helpful you can be, even with what youre going through. I've also been appalled at what sounds like a serious lack of care and compassion at times from people around you. I can imagine its even harder now with what's going on in the world currently, but it seems like you've been dealing with these issues for awhile already. It sounds like all you need is just one trusted, patient, compassionate person to help you with some of the assistance youre seeking and it sounds like even that has been a challenge to find and keep.

I live in America and I don't know exactly what a carer's duties encompass in the U.K., but anyone providing personal care should realize it extends beyond the physical, to the emotional and mental well-being of the person also. They should be willing to advocate for you in getting the best care and living the best life you possibly can. I just want to say Im sorry you have to deal with that right now, but there are people who care, even on the other side of the world, so please remember that when you're having a really bad day. I believe the root of most people's problems can be traced back to a lack of care and compassion somewhere, so know that you're not alone in that struggle either. We just all need to be better for each other. I hope you're feeling better today and getting what you need. :)

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Depressionโ€ฆ

Although I have never actually followed this saying or piece of advice, I feel like there is a lot of value in it: "You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others". As a mom, this goes against every natural instinct I have and it's just really never been the type of person I am anyway. Taking care of others always seemed easier. But you do have to take care of yourself in order to be able to give anything of value to another and Im only now realizing how important this is. Don't wait too long and get to a point of exhaustion and resentment. It's ok to take a break and it's ok to focus on your own well being. It will benefit everyone in the long run.

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I always lose keys.

Ok, ok its called a hip pack now.

https://www.earthboundtrading.com/himalayan-tie...

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i would like every long time member of this site to go un-anonymous an re introduce themselves for the year 2020 should bring new beginnings.

Thank you soco! I know I wasn't super memorable but I remember many of you and it was a true time warp coming back here and seeing the same people and avatars from 10 years ago. I dont know if anyone remembers Kalen? We lived in the same area at the time but lost touch after awhile. I used to talk to Agape Lion quite a bit as well. I hate to randomly drop names but I haven't seen either of them here yet, don't know if I'd recognize them if I did. Thank you for the welcome back :)

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anyone ever order something from at first seems like a legit website..

This happened to me once, years ago. The website turned out to be legit, but had run out of what I ordered and chose to keep my money. I had to dispute it with them and my bank. Since then, If Im not sure about a site's reputation I always google it but then add the word "reviews" at the end. This will quickly tell you if anyone else has had a bad experience or if it's been reported or listed as a scam site. There are tons of watchdog sites you can report them to. The reviews of other people's experiences read like a horror story but at least they can save you from reliving that horror yourself :)

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How can I stop being obsessed?

Yeah, I wouldn't even entertain a conversation about marriage when you have the doubts you do already. Who wants to get married to save on income taxes? Just think that having that difficult conversation only requires a short period of being really uncomfortable, compared to years of being downright miserable. It will likely and hopefully prompt things to change for the better and if it doesn't, you know where you stand and can go from there.

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i would like every long time member of this site to go un-anonymous an re introduce themselves for the year 2020 should bring new beginnings.

This is the dude on my profile pic in case anyone wonders about it and this song seemed appropriate for the post :)

https://youtu.be/oq7rvFFIpxk

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i would like every long time member of this site to go un-anonymous an re introduce themselves for the year 2020 should bring new beginnings.

I know its been awhile since you made this post but Im just seeing it and I was on the old help years ago and here now, so..... :)

I found the old help in 2010 I think and at the time was looking for relationship help, typed some variation of that into google and old help was one of the first sites listed in the results. At the time I remember it being much different, very busy and full of all kinds of people from everywhere. I remember the front page would move constantly at times with people posting on just about anything. I did make a few friends but didn't come on enough I guess to become well known or remembered or get close to many people. I did meet someone on here in 2011 and we got very close. We even made plans to be together although we lived over 5000 miles apart! It didn't end up happening unfortunately, still a big regret of mine, but I have managed to keep in touch with them over the years at least and it was a great experience and I can thank this site for that.

Anyway, I am now 34 and have 3 kids. I've had a long-time on and off relationship with their dad and that has usually been the source of my personal problems, if I ever do post about them. When I posted before, I usually tried to keep it light and ask for advice on easier issues though. :) My main job and concern in life is being a good mom and a good person, standing up for others and helping them when I can. I hope to see this site pick up soon! No one's here!!

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How can I stop being obsessed?

You don't have to accept it. You can have a really honest conversation about the issue before you consider leaving as an option though. They need to understand fully what their lack of participation in everyday life is having on other people in the family. I've dealt with something similar and I knew I definitely wasn't dealing with an overachiever of any kind. He was just opting out of being a parent and a partner and there are lots of ways to do that. The conversation will definitely be uncomfortable but I would really verbalize the effect its having on myself and kids in the situation before I just left. You have that right, even if its just to express yourself in the end and nothing changes as a result. At least you tried.

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