HelpQA Tags Search FAQ
Start a New Post Chat Login & Registration
This post left anonymously

Does anyone have any tips on forgiveness?

It’s been 8 years since my cousins stopped contact with my family.

I think the biggest issue is, I don’t even know why.

My dad has started talking to them again. He sees them at funerals. I haven’t seen them in 8 years.

But Im still angry with them. At the hurt they caused my dad.

Everyone says I should forgive and forget. But honestly I’m sick of people telling me how to feel about it.

I hate them. I’m angry with them. I want nothing to do with them. I can’t move on.

I want peace for myself. Just not sure how.

This open post was written |
Views: 48, Subscribers: 6 |
Leave a reply | Report Post

⇩ Zoom to bottom
Reciprocity (0)
Reciprocity
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
Post Tags (5)
years, move, dad, peace, angry
Replies (11)
05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
Verified User (6 years, 8 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 hour after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

I think you can forgive but that doesn't mean you wave a magic wand and it's all better.

There are people who hurt me in life who I'll never meet again and it doesn't really matter if I forgive them, and honestly, in my heart I don't think I ever have or will. But who cares? My forgiveness means little to them or myself.

As far as family...you forgive according to what is acceptable to you and what was done. My cousin has offended me in the past, never reaches out to me and acts like I am the jerk when I'm always friendly and welcoming when he's around at family functions.

But he was sick recently and I tried to reach out. I called him on the phone an he seemed to appreciate the gesture. I didn't take it that much further but I tried. It took a lot for me to do that, I'm not one for reaching out to people, big reason why I don't have many friends.

Anyway, that's the kind of material thing maybe you should think about when you are trying to forgive someone. You're right, you can't make yourself feel on way or another, but you can try and rebuild a burnt bridge or failing at that, get a support beam going before it crumbles before you can finish it.

Help me with:

Advice Post

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 hour after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

But, I,m still angry with them. At the hurt they caused my dad.

Based on this 👆 remark alone, it's clear that your dad means a lot to you.

My dad has started talking to them again. He sees them at funerals.

And if he does mean a lot to you, then you should try looking at your cousins through his perspective. Remember, they hurt him, not necessarily you. Because of that, if your dad can over look their faults and forgive them, it would be wise to do the same as him.

4be8c2d8 78e3 4f52 8977 21b6cc47a3ee
Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

I hate them. I’m angry with them. I want nothing to do with them. I can’t move on.

You're letting your anger control you. I would talk to your dad about it. Maybe you don't have the full story?

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1731554328" title="Nov 14, 2024 3:18">Nov 14, 2024 3:18</time>
Verified User (6 years, 8 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(20 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

https://youtu.be/13mUFEXnB54

Help me with:

Advice Post

Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Lano wrote:
https://youtu.be/13mUFEXnB54

****shit man i nearly gave that away! kudos to ur quickening

Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

she actually made a full song apart from that movie

https://youtu.be/Fw2QnANVmrU

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

If all you have is hate in your heart love can not enter.
Don't worry about what they say and do. It's out of your control. All of it. The single person you can control is you. Only you.

Make sense?

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

soco wrote:
If all you have is hate in your heart love can not enter.
Don't worry about what they say and do. It's out of your control. All of it. The single person you can control is you. Only you.

Make sense?

makes a lot of sense

Inbound1896536404
Gone
last online: 05/14, 23:04
Verified User (6 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Cousins mean nothing when you get older. They get married and put you at the lowest priority.
I would just be indifferent.
Are they paying your bills?
In my oppinion , cousins are family friends as a child.
Let them go..

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
Verified User (7 years, 1 month)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

This is obviously troublesome to the OP. If they don't take the necessary steps to correct this it will shorten their life. The worry and the pain will weigh heavy on their psyche and will manifest in physical ailments.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Original Poster
Anonymous
#
(2 weeks after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

aeolians.revenge wrote:
Cousins mean nothing when you get older. They get married and put you at the lowest priority.
I would just be indifferent.
Are they paying your bills?
In my oppinion , cousins are family friends as a child.
Let them go..

Actually we were never close as kids, I never saw much of them. We got really close after my aunt, their mum, died, when we was in out 20's/30's

soco wrote:
This is obviously troublesome to the OP. If they don't take the necessary steps to correct this it will shorten their life. The worry and the pain will weigh heavy on their psyche and will manifest in physical ailments.

To be honest, with their mentality, I really don't think they care at all.

A
⇧ Zoom to top

Help-QA supports basic Markdown, emoji 😁, and tagging friends with @username!

To use this site you must be 13 years or older and occasionally submit your email address. Your email address is only shared with your explicit permission.

Home Page - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service - Feedback