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My friend told me today he might be bi, he also said he wants to experiment with me.

I am gay but haven’t come out yet. I’m willing to experiment but not sure if I should

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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friend, told, today, gay, experiment
Replies (13)
Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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What makes you hesitant?

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josephpattrick
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(4 minutes after post)
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It’s because I haven’t come out to anyone yet and I’m not ready to yet, but I also do want to have my first experience with a guy..

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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Well- to be frank, it's nobody's business but your own and those you choose to share with.
You don't have to "come out" to date, experiment, or even have an intimate relationship.

That said- most people these days are very open to this sort of thing. Unless you've got a very religious family who have openly stated that they don't agree with people living that sort of life, it's likely your loved ones will love and accept you no matter what. As far as general society, you'll get a couple oppressors, but for the most part nobody is going to be too harsh. After a slight adjustment period, I think things will calm down.
But no rush. Like I said- you don't have to come out before you're ready, no matter what you do or who you do it with.

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josephpattrick
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Thanks, I think I might go ahead with it. I want to so I might as well

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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Glad to hear. 😊

But one thing to keep in mind, especially when people are in the teenage years- "experimenting" really means they're just wanting to give things a test run. That means it's quite likely that they won't want to continue forever, they may not be interested in a relationship, and even if they are, they may get uncomfortable and call things off.
Try to resist getting too attached too quickly, as many teenagers do. You don't want to put your whole self into the relationship just to have him run away. So be careful.

And welcome to Help-QA. 😁 We're glad to have you and hope you stick around!

J
josephpattrick
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Ah thanks, yes I will be coming here for any future questions. And yeah I don’t think I want a relationship with him, if anything it would just be sorta friends with befenits aha. But yeah I think we will both just see how it goes and if one of us is uncomfortable we will stop.

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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Good call. 😄

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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Sounds like you're thinking this through well. :) I'm not sure how old you are, but it took me until I was 24 to figure out my own sexuality properly - and sometimes, I still have days where I'm confused - but that's mostly because society is weird and confusing to me.

I'd say that you've come to the right idea. If at any point one of you does decide to pursue a serious relationship, I'd advise you to communicate with each other thoroughly. Also, you do not need to come out if you don't wish to. Some don't at all, and some just let others work it out from what they observe.

So whether you're bi, gay, pan, ace, or otherwise as long as you are happy with you, and the person you're with is happy with you, no one else matters. It's your life, and your feelings that matter most.

J
josephpattrick
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Ah thanks very much, he’s 17 and I’m almost 17

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Evansent
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I’m glad you’ve told us about your age I was about to ask you the same question.
Don’t feel pressured in any way,shape or form.
“Being experimental”is all well and good if your at the consensual age.
Make sure YOU use some kind of protection.

Favidbowiepic
Aria
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Evansent wrote:
I’m glad you’ve told us about your age I was about to ask you the same question.
Don’t feel pressured in any way,shape or form.
“Being experimental”is all well and good if your at the consensual age.
Make sure YOU use some kind of protection.

Yes! #1 advice if there's going to be any sexual contact. Even if neither of you have been sexually active before, safe ***sex is a must and it's good to start practicing now.

I'm asexual, so my advice with anything beyond "stay safe" is probably not going to amount to much, as I'm in my 30's and still haven't had consensual ***sex. However, the heart can be a tricky thing, and so are sexual hormones (I hear, anyway). So it's best to be cautious with both.

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Nevermind
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If you want to and the other wants to, nobody is cheating, and its safe and legal. Go for it.

Your sexual orientation is nobodies business. What purpose does coming out even do? My friend told me once "Why does your family need to know? Do you want to have ***sex with them?" He says its nobodies business except people you wanna have ***sex with or be in a relationship.

So, I wouldn't be concerned with having not come out. That's your business.

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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You have received some great advice. Talking about it before hand is critical. Afterwards too. No matter how hard you try, the first time is the one you remember forever. So make it the best memory you can.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

A
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