My name is Ash, if you prefer you can call me Ashley or any of the usernames I go by (Akornz, Kyofu, Yorue, Nevermind, & KovusShame)
Meet my cats. Albert, Agnes, Eleanor, & Esme.
Where did you grow up?
Illinios & Wisconsin USA
Where do you live now?
What subjects did/do you enjoy most at school?
English, Art, Gym
What hobbies are you into?
Which religion (if any) do you follow?
Apostolic Pentecostal (Christian)
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I thought I was doing well.written () ago
But now I'm a wreck.
The Struggle.written () ago
Havent peed since like, 9pm last nignt. It's now 12:03pm in the afternoon. I refuse to go because if I leave my room I will likely run in to my moms house guests and I'd rather wait for them to leave.
Meds or Me?written () ago
I typically live without real socialization. I used to require a close online friend to talk to everyday or else I'd get lonely. I used to be rather codependent.
Thoughts are always and constant.written () ago
Just let me ramble.written () ago
I havent had anyone to talk to today. Usually it's okay but I guess today I want to say things. This will probably just be a series of random topics I get distracted with but I guess that's what I need to do.
Maybe what you wanna be talking about is what happened regarding religion to hurt/upset you rather then talking about how people shouldnt believe in religion and how it shouldnt exist or be tolerated on this site.
Getting help for your trauma regarding your experience= helpful, what site is for
Telling people they shouldn't have religion ot the ability to get help or discuss it when they are seeking personal guidance or help= not helpful, Not what the site is for
Mine is Ashley. But friends call me Ash- written - voted for by Jebus-Zeus
Then I'm going back to bed- written - voted for by Jebus-Zeus
I dunno if they are. I have never told any family or people about my issues other than my friend and this site and medical professionals.
I think my mom has told some people things but that's probably just cause they can see the scars and ask. They never ask me. I dunno if that's cause they already know or if they just think its not polite to ask.
I never choose to make a scene. I'm behaved. When I melt down it's like a triggered thing I have no control.
I'm too timid to ask such a thing. But it's okay. For now I'm okay. I dont know how I'll be the whole time but I will try my best to be okay. I just hope they respect my space with as little as I will have.
Growing up the way I did. I'm afraid to fall asleep and not be somewhere secure and safe. I need a lock and I sleep best knowing they cant get in I dont feel safe upstairs even though I probably am.
See I can recognize my behavior and thoughts as irrational but I still cant change them. That's how I truly feel and think.- written
Tell us more about the stupid guests and the hunting trip they all seem to want to attend. Do they not own their own printers?!
To make matters worse mom made me give them my room and uproot all my cats and myself upstairs where I cant get away and we are in a small bed room. Scared to leave the room and pariniod that they will open the door when in sleeping so that paranoia over powered my night meds. And now I gotta do it all again this whole week starting friday
And again for Christmas.
I'm worried I wont be ae to keep it together because this is alot of stress for me. But I'm trying- written
Yeah my body hurts from holding it so long but my stress overpowers me sometimes.
I'm pretty stable now as far as depression and crying and meltdowns but I'm still paralyzed by anxiety and paranoia. If I am paranoid to leave my room, I won't.
I hope It sticks around and grows as big as the only site was- written
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