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savanna.017
last online: 04/18, 15:18
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Which would you choose?

I live with my boyfriend renting a house from his parents. I left my job so there have been stress.. I left my job to sell art. He said we were partners in a literal business that we started.. but he consistently *****fucks me over. It is never on purpose. He has a job and college too. But he *****fucks up my art production by breaking promises. I've realized that without his help I can't run my business with the proficiency I needed. I've given up on it. My college classes have had a lot of social weirdness and I feel uncomfortable attending. I'm even failing at my painting class. I lost my befriend because she is my boyfriends sister. Their family is intertwined with everything they do. I personally don't believe in doing things with their family so I am out of events most of the time. On the plus side I do have a relationship with a kind person. I live literally next to my best friend, even if I havent seen her in a month.. and I have my own house, filled with animals.


Should I give this up or try to fix it?


I have been thinking about moving back in with my family. My grandparents own a big house in Virginia and my little cousin that I love dearly lives there. The seasons would change.. I would have to share the house and only have a room.. but thats okay. But I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty. I don't want to destroy my current life and regret that. Every year i go to visit and this year I haven't. I have been doing holidays with my boyfriends family and it makes me increasingly depressed. If I move there I won't be able to finish college, but I'm only halfways there and it would take about another year in my current living situation.

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savanna.017 edited this post .

Which would you choose?¬ ¬ I live with my boyfriend renting a house from his parents. I left my job so there have been stress.. I left my job to sell art. He said we were partners in a literal business that we started.. but he consistently fucks me over. It is never on purpose. He has a job and college too. But he fucks up my art production by breaking promises. I've realized that without his help I can't run my business with the proficiency I needed. I've given up on it. My college classes have had a lot of social weirdness and I feel uncomfortable attending. I'm even failing at my painting class. I lost my befriend because she is my boyfriends sister. Their family is intertwined with everything they do. I personally don't believe in family so I am out of events most of the time. On the plus side I do have a relationship with a kind person. I live literally next to my best friend, even if I havent seen her in a month.. and I have my own house. ¬ ¬ Should I give this up or try to fix it?

savanna.017 edited this post .

Which would you choose?¬ ¬ I live with my boyfriend renting a house from his parents. I left my job so there have been stress.. I left my job to sell art. He said we were partners in a literal business that we started.. but he consistently fucks me over. It is never on purpose. He has a job and college too. But he fucks up my art production by breaking promises. I've realized that without his help I can't run my business with the proficiency I needed. I've given up on it. My college classes have had a lot of social weirdness and I feel uncomfortable attending. I'm even failing at my painting class. I lost my befriend because she is my boyfriends sister. Their family is intertwined with everything they do. I personally don't believe in family so I am out of events most of the time. On the plus side I do have a relationship with a kind person. I live literally next to my best friend, even if I havent seen her in a month.. and I have my own house, filled with animals. ¬ ¬ I have been thinking about moving back in with my family. My grandparents own a big house in Virginia and my little cousin that I love dearly lives there. The seasons would change.. I would have to share the house and only have a room.. but thats okay. But I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty. I don't want to destroy my current life and regret that. Every year i go to visit and this year I haven't. I have been doing holidays with my boyfriends family and it makes me increasingly depressed. If I move there I won't be able to finish college, but I'm only halfways there and it would take about another year in my current living situation. ¬ ¬ Should I give this up or try to fix it?

savanna.017 edited this post .

Which would you choose?¬ ¬ I live with my boyfriend renting a house from his parents. I left my job so there have been stress.. I left my job to sell art. He said we were partners in a literal business that we started.. but he consistently fucks me over. It is never on purpose. He has a job and college too. But he fucks up my art production by breaking promises. I've realized that without his help I can't run my business with the proficiency I needed. I've given up on it. My college classes have had a lot of social weirdness and I feel uncomfortable attending. I'm even failing at my painting class. I lost my befriend because she is my boyfriends sister. Their family is intertwined with everything they do. I personally don't believe in family so I am out of events most of the time. On the plus side I do have a relationship with a kind person. I live literally next to my best friend, even if I havent seen her in a month.. and I have my own house, filled with animals. ¬ ¬ I have been thinking about moving back in with my family. My grandparents own a big house in Virginia and my little cousin that I love dearly lives there. The seasons would change.. I would have to share the house and only have a room.. but thats okay. But I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty. I don't want to destroy my current life and regret that. Every year i go to visit and this year I haven't. I have been doing holidays with my boyfriends family and it makes me increasingly depressed. If I move there I won't be able to finish college, but I'm only halfways there and it would take about another year in my current living situation. ¬ ¬ . ¬ ¬ ¬ Should I give this up or try to fix it??¬ ¬ ¬ I have been thinking about moving back in with my family. My grandparents own a big house in Virginia and my little cousin that I love dearly lives there. The seasons would change.. I would have to share the house and only have a room.. but thats okay. But I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty. I don't want to destroy my current life and regret that. Every year i go to visit and this year I haven't. I have been doing holidays with my boyfriends family and it makes me increasingly depressed. If I move there I won't be able to finish college, but I'm only halfways there and it would take about another year in my current living situation.

savanna.017 edited this post .

Which would you choose?¬ ¬ I live with my boyfriend renting a house from his parents. I left my job so there have been stress.. I left my job to sell art. He said we were partners in a literal business that we started.. but he consistently fucks me over. It is never on purpose. He has a job and college too. But he fucks up my art production by breaking promises. I've realized that without his help I can't run my business with the proficiency I needed. I've given up on it. My college classes have had a lot of social weirdness and I feel uncomfortable attending. I'm even failing at my painting class. I lost my befriend because she is my boyfriends sister. Their family is intertwined with everything they do. I personally don't believe in doing things with their family so I am out of events most of the time. On the plus side I do have a relationship with a kind person. I live literally next to my best friend, even if I havent seen her in a month.. and I have my own house, filled with animals. ¬ ¬ ¬ Should I give this up or try to fix it?¬ ¬ ¬ I have been thinking about moving back in with my family. My grandparents own a big house in Virginia and my little cousin that I love dearly lives there. The seasons would change.. I would have to share the house and only have a room.. but thats okay. But I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty. I don't want to destroy my current life and regret that. Every year i go to visit and this year I haven't. I have been doing holidays with my boyfriends family and it makes me increasingly depressed. If I move there I won't be able to finish college, but I'm only halfways there and it would take about another year in my current living situation.

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verge
last online: 03/08, 18:09
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No relationships are perfect because nobody is perfect. We are all messed up somehow. You might need to step back to see things more clearly. I don't know your life, but maybe you bailed on your boyfriend and friend, people who care about you, at a bad time. All relationships take work to maintain, it could be that your particular methods are unsustainable. Social interaction and love are so important. I'm just a random person on the internet who will unfortunately never really know you, but I have a feeling you'd go crazy living back with your family.

314sftf
Nix
last online: 11/28, 9:31
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Family business' are tough. My advice would be to learn the skills that he brings to the table, so that you are not so reliant on him.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
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Are there two businesses?
In one breath you say:

- WE were partners in a literal business that WE started.

Great, but then

- he *****fucks up MY art production (and) without his help I can't run MY business with the proficiency I need.

-----------------------

I have been thinking about moving back in with my family.

But, I don't want to go there, be stuck in the middle of nowhere, and feel empty

The trouble is, your current circumstances are making you feel empty right now.

The way your boyfriend interacts with his family will likely never change. It will always be about them. Where does that leave you?

Basically, you need to make some decisions based on your own autonomy. Most everything that has been made in the relationship has been abandoned or failed - you'll get no support if you try to "fix it."

You might want to consider an early carreer move.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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We live in a society where women are oppressed by men. When they break promises we don’t say anything and a quick to forgive. But he need to be held accountable. Next time he does something you don’t like- be direct and tell him 1. What he did wrong 2. What he can do differently next time. In my experience if you don’t express how you feel they will continue with the pattern. Now if you have tried all this tell him that if he doesn’t start acting like a partner you don’t want to stick around.

I know all this is harsh and is scary to tell someone but it needs to be said.

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Araz
last online: 12/14, 0:56
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I think you can do this on your own. (I read your other post too.) My advice is to go to your grandparents and enroll in school there. There are tons of colleges all over VA.

Art is the hard part - business is the easy part (says the business major 😂.) But no, really, you should consider throwing in one or two business classes as an elective. You can do this!

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Wil
last online: 06/03, 2:59
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It sounds like what you have is important to you.
Only give up if you're comfortable you've made whatever effort to this is worth to fix it.
You may regret giving up if you look back one day and think "why didn't I just do X or say Y. We might've figured it out"
Communication is the key. Tell your bf how you feel and work out a solution together"

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savanna.017
last online: 04/18, 15:18
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I don't have the capacity for trust. Maybe my particular methods are unsustainable because in the end I would choose to destroy it all if it was too broken and I would walk away. If I am willing to abandon my relationships why should they care for me.

As for the business it was an attempt. I went in completely blind and hoped to learn from experience.. and I did. I took business classes too. But he didn't see it the same way, I suppose. He didn't care to the same extent nor have the same priority and it fell through the cracks. It was my project I just didn't have the support I thought would be there. Now my apathy just feels so consuming that I just don;t have the will to care. That also means I have no job. Maybe I do need a career change but I don't see anything where I live currently.

What I built here is important to me.. in the way that stepping stones matter. But I just don't see the next step. I talked with him and he's made an effort to change, even showing this with gestures and actions. But I still just feel lost.

I have felt this way before. I've been in such toxic situations that I literally torched all of my bridges and walked away. This time I'm not around toxic people or a toxic situation. I just hit a wall.. and I don't see a way past it. And I am tired of fighting and feeling so empty. I just don't see the next step forward. Ultimately we are alone. I can plan with him all I like, in the end he lives his life and I live mine. I could stay like this for years.. I have been here years and stayed for one reason or another.. but when do you know when it is time to go?

It all seems so difficult and tiring, so I have just been sleeping and avoiding caring or trying to force anything else. But indecision is like limbo.. it's not really living if you can't commit to it.

Anyway, thanks for your replies. It gave me a lot to think about

Electric
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last online: 01/25, 20:20
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What I built here is important to me.. in the way that stepping stones matter. But I just don't see the next step. I talked with him and he's made an effort to change, even showing this with gestures and actions. But I still just feel lost.

Look hon, there's something going on that isn't spoken about -

Business is business and relationships are relationships....

You are not involved in a relationship that is conducive to business....you are not going to be able to combine the two and get positive results.

It hurts. It hurts to see other couples that do well enough that they can run a successful business - but, sadly, this is not for you.

As for the success of your business, you may have to bring a professional on board. There are serious people who are interested in the same field as you are - start your proposal(s).
Find someone who is interested in fortifying "the business."

A
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