Please come back legion. I know how it feels cos I've felt the same way. My friend killed herself last year. Please don't go.

i hope this is just a venting of emotions and not something you actually plan on going through with. i understand the pain, i truly do. and i know you've heard this a million times but it does get better i swear it does.

I don't know if this will be helpful to you or not.

But my private doctor says to focus on physiological elements before the psychological ones.

Let you show you what I mean..... you don't have to follow it. But I want the choice to be there for you

https://www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Depression_-_di...

https://www.drmyhill.co.uk/wiki/Anxiety_-_diagn...

I know have been feeling terrible for a very long time but have u recently changed meds at all?

@✿CherryBomb✿b✿

I'm so pleased you're back

You lost jobs over your height? That's not a flaw in u.
That's really stupid of the employers.

One time I got turned down for fora job in burger king because they asked me to describe myself in 3 words.

One word I said was bubbly.
I went back and asked why I didn't get the job to flip burgers and they said they just couldn't see me being a bubbly person.

People are just rediculous.

My friend was 26 stone and I love him so much. I doesn't matter what people look like.

It matters what your heart is inside.

Your body is a shell that contains who u REALLY are. That shell is not so important.

It matters more what to do with your life. Not how u look in life.

U don't need to change how u look. U need to embrace it and find self love for yourself for who you are.

There will ALWAYS be someone out there who will put u down or judge u. It's hurts and awful. But we have to learn and understand that it's OK to be ourselves.

It's hard work! I'm still trying myself too.

But why would we want to be like those hurtful people? We don't go round hurting people.

Legion. My ex fiance neglected me and I almost died (I'm severely disabled) I resented him for a very long time. But I don't anymore. I've come to understand that his mental health was so bad that I can't blame him anymore. It wasn't his fault. I forgive him.

Sometimes people just don't know how to cope with what they're going through.

Sometimes they just don't know what to do so they may turn a blind eye. Sometimes they care but don't have the ability to deal with it at the time.

Your mental health struggles are not your fault. It's not your fault that u couldn't be there for that person.

The same as it wasn't my fault that my physiological health almost killed me and my fiance was suicidal and I couldn't be there for him as much as I wanted to. I was incapable of caring for myself so couldn't care for others. I jad to put myself first in order to survive.

Sometimes these things happen but they don't make us bad people. We are just trying to survive in a difficult world.

I think that you would need to understand that it wasnt ur fault and to try to forgive yourself.

No one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect. We r the same as each other

Stay away from unsupportive people.

I don't know if it helps. If it hurts then I don't for it to.

But I'm 28 and I don't have a partner either. And I see others with their children,,giving birth, getting married and it makes me happy for them but also sad that I am missing out.

Disabled people are not useless. We are not disabled we are differently abled

You don't deserve what u have gone through.

Have you heard of Louise hay?

U r not weak! x

Sometimes even having hope in itself hurts so bad that we turn away from it, scares that we will end up disappointed and hurt again.

I think maybe u might feel numb
like derealisation or disassociation type thing. If u do then that is how the body protects itself.

Sometimes we shut off our feelings in order to cope. It's survival.

We are only responsible for our own actions when we have mental capacity.

I through a bowl of food across the room at my mams not long ago. I cried and cleaned it up best I could and next morning got got my carer to clean the rest.

But that's cos my mam struggles to care for me too. She wasn't very nice for a moment and it distressed me cos I'm going through a lot.

I don't blame me or my mam for what happened. I blame the government for leaving us to struggle.

Someone who doesn't fully understand what is going on can not make informed decisions on their life or how they behave.

It doesn't matter what the nation thinks.

Norms of society are often soo backwards. I don't even want to follow societies norms. Social norms can promote hurting others.

I'm much rather be an outcast then join in with them

When I say what I'm going through, I don't want it to come across like I'm comparing who has it harder. Cos that sort it thing is silly. Everyone's feelings and struggles are valid. Feelings are important and so are yours.

But when I share my experiences, I just want u to know that u r not alone

Have u tried joining mental health support groups?

There is a fb closed group I am in for mental health. It might be helpful to you as there are people around all the time

Social expectations of being being a man is really silly.

They think it's soft for a man to cry but it's not true. It's social more acceptable for a man to show anger than cry. And more acceptable for fora female to cry than get angry.

But I can tell u that i get both. All emotions are valid. When the anger is out the tears fall. And when they have finished sometimes we can feel numb and not cry for a very long time.

Eventually it can feel like there's no point in crying. It won't fix anything right?

But it's wrong. It's OK to cry. U cried when u were anything baby and it was OK then so it's OK now.

We are all small children inside of us. We all hurt anything tell nd get scared anything tell nd nd sometimes we don't know what to do and seek comfort from others. Even as adults we don't have all the answers. We r vulnerable like like a child.

I'm a sorry for what happened between you and your partner but I think you were both struggling both at the same time and I really don't think either of you could have been responsible for your behaviours back then.

And I'm sorry about your accident

I'm sorry for your pain inside

There is nothing wrong with seeking help. This post is your way of seeking help and I think u are sooo brave for doing it.

It takes real courage to do that especially with how you feel in order to do it.

U overcome a big obstacle when u ask for help. U could give yourself more credit and a pat on the back

See there are others who feel afraid to seek help too. And when they see you doing it like this, maybe one day it will give them the courage to do the same, and seek support.

When people see it is safe for that person to speak up, they get courage to do same

Have u ever posted asking for support on the mental health groups?
Or only ever helped others?

I'm trying to get some others to come too. Please hang in there

Legion......

I think he might still be there even though it says he's offline.

Is he still here?

He was offline when I was commenting earlier and when I commented he came back.

I hope saying that doesn't make him feel awkward.

Sometimes people are there listening but don't want to be seen

my end says he is online

Yeah he's still here. See we are here for you legion.look who came to be here for u? See people care about u

Well, we are for you man.

well obviousoly not here with several people concerned because you aren't replying, even pulling me out of the woodworks for you.... ANSWER!

good now remember me?

Hey Legion. Many of us have been where you are. Its not pretty. But you have inside what it takes to get through this.

Evansent says to get in touch with her.

Can she come here?

I don't think she is able to at the moment @soco

Well, I'm glad you're here.😊

Legion. Where are you?

What part of the country are you in?

Home?

Just a yes or no....

What time is it there?

Sorry to be keeping you up!

Netherlands. I used to live in Germany.

Are you alone?

That explains alot.... LOL

What do you mean?

Just kidding littlenick.

That's OK. We understand x

No worries. Its a global party now.

God I feel this in my bones. I started dealing with mental illness at a very young age and I wasn't diagnosed or medicated until well into my 20's. I'm very lucky in that the first meds they tried me on worked and I've loved the doctors I've worked with. I know you're tired and it's utterly exhausting but it is so worth it to keep fighting. I didn't even believe that myself for the longest time. I literally thought I would be dead before 25 and now I'm 32 and the world is opening up for me in a major way. I'm so glad I'm here to experience it. As I'm sure you know, meds aren't a cure all, so I definitely still have my bad days but now, even at my worst moments, I know it really is worth it to power through because I get to live on the other side of the darkness now.

But since you're home, you need to serve the drinks. Got any iced tea?

I'll take it.

I like a nice coffee! 2 sugars please. Not too milky

I brought scones!

https://web.archive.org/web/20100722012821/http...

❤

I'm sorry but i love way back machine....

took me a bit but i found ya and remember ya

I like eye. Two's better but better than none.

But if u need to look through support that u had in the past to remember just how much we care then it is there for u.

And when u struggle to tell us ur troubles those past posts might help us understand ur troubles.

So kind of dani to dig that out

Why?

Oh dear I only just understood this. I'm sorry

I don't think anybody here wants to judge you.

So what are you having to drink?

Good deal.

May I ask what happened today that brought us all here? Maybe at work...?

I'm going to go n have a sleep now. I'm just really tired cos im not very well. But dont worry. I am happy to be here for you. Helping people gives me a sense of purpose so don't feel bad.

I just want u to know that whilst I am away I am thinking of u. If I were not unwell I'd be here longer.

But u r not out of mind and I really do care.

hugs you Legion
group hug everyone
And that was was a damn good coffee!

jetmoo on facebook

yes

i dont know know i thought someone asked what brought us here and it was you for me

The question was for Legion.

so sorry i'll just go away for another month or two

That's not what I meant DHY

Did this happen today or awhile ago?

SOCO i know bu8t just ignore me, someone else needs more help than me

Girls are strange Legion. I should know.

What will be accomplished by you dying?

Well. I'm here to put pressure on your wound, but I will still need your help.

It will actually create a burden. Both financial and psychological.

You need more tonic. I'll be here when you get back.

Still. Many questions will be left unanswered.
Would it make a difference if I told you I will miss you severly?

Honesty. I like that.

Do you work?

Death threats?!? Some people have no class.

The absence of an enemy....
Sounds like a Stephen King book. Do you read much?

Understandable. How long ago was the car accident? Sorry it happened.

I believe you. I've never experienced one. And nothing severe enough to cause a coma or concussion.
Do you think that has caused your depression or just exacerbated it?

Oh, and feel free to ask me questions too. I'm an open book.

At what age were you diagnosed? By a physician with, I'm guessing, mediocre background in it.

Have you ever experienced happiness? If so, when and where?

And have you been on medication all this time since?

How about when you found love?

Have you ever tried CBD oil? Not sure what the laws are where you live.

(I NEED TO MOVE....!!!)

I'm out of tea. Have any more?

Promise not to die on me? I hate when that happens, in case you didn't know.

I more than care Legion. So do others here. Please trust me on that.
Good night. Or good morning. You're alright!

This may seem like the only option I've been there many times but please believe when I say you are important and you do matter although it may not seem like people do care what's even more amazing is that you reached out without realising it you have become part of a much larger family one that won't judge won't put you down one that will always be there one that cares cherish you most IMPORTANTLY one who will help please feel free to talk to me xx

Are you there?

Sometimes it helps to change surroundings, kinda like addicts trying to kick a habit. I've known a number of people who did that (not necessarily drug related) and it saved their lives. Hell, I'm 53 yrs old, disabled and living in a van with my dying dog (almost 20 yrs old) and I'm reasonably happy.
If you figure on pulling the plug, why not just take off and travel? Being dead leaves you with nothing, so traveling with little or nothing isn't any worse.. and meeting new people in different surroundings might change your outlook.

U have tried so many ways of getting help.
Can I share something that you may NOT have tried yet?

This is from my first link I shared at beginning of post:

"Causes of depression
There is a general assumption that depression is a psychological symptom, but this is not so. My experience is that the majority of depression has a physical cause, and once that is conquered, apparently insurmountable psychological problems are much more easily dealt with.

Physical Causes

Energy supply to the brain. The brain needs much more energy than the body and this it gets in the form of ATP. However ATP is not just the energy molecule; it is a neurotransmittor in its own right. To be precise, it is a co-transmittor which means other neurotranmittors like serotonin and acetylcholine will not work unless there is a molecule of ATP with them. Depression is thought to be due to low levels of such neurotransmittors in the brain; so, increasing ATP will make whatever is there function much better! See Brain fog - poor memory, difficulty thinking clearly etc.

Allergy and hypoglycaemia
Food and mood are closely linked. What we eat is so often driven by addiction, complicated by the fact that one gets allergic to one's addiction, and addicted to one's allergens. Blood-sugar levels have a profound effect on mood. This is because when blood-sugar levels run high, the brain can function efficiently and feels cool, calm and collected. Whilst the brain may like this, it's a metabolic disaster for the body: insulin is released and blood sugar levels come swinging down. The sufferer can relieve these symptoms by eating sugar or carbohydrates again and easily recognises his comfort foods. The long-term symptom of this is high insulin levels, weight gain, diabetes, heart disease and so on. Middle-age spread, therefore, is symptomatic of chronic stress driving carbohydrate addiction. Other addictive substances include caffeine, chocolate, nicotine, and alcohol, many of which are addictive because of their effects on blood-sugar levels. Most psychiatric in-patients are obvious addicts. It always amazes me that there is no control in such patient-units over carbohydrate intake (sugar and biscuits), caffeine and - often - cigarette smoking. Indeed, most psychotropic drugs have their action because they increase the blood-sugar levels, whilst also, unfortunately, increasing weight and accelerating the aging process. For many people just doing the Ketogenic diet - the practical details makes the world of difference. Please also see My book The PK Cookbook - Go Paleo-ketogenic and get the best of both worlds.
If one sees more than minimal consumption of sugar and refined carbohydrates as an addiction, then one can start to understand why they have such profound effects on mood. As with any other addiction, expect short-term withdrawal-symptoms on cutting down. See Hypoglycaemia - the full story

Allergies to foods can also manifest with depression and a good clue is excessive eating of that particular food. For many people just doing the Ketogenic diet - the practical details makes the world of difference. Please see also My book The PK Cookbook - Go Paleo-ketogenic and get the best of both worlds.
Micronutrient deficiency
The brain is the most biochemically complicated and metabolically active organ of the body; so almost any deficiency of almost any micronutrient could have effects on the brain. That is why I like everybody to take Nutritional Supplements. Alcohol, for example, will deplete B vitamins which are essential for maintaining blood-sugar levels and for normal brain biochemistry. High-dose B12 given by injection can be extremely useful for improving mood. Indeed, one has to be careful in a patient prone to mania because high-dose B12 by injection can provoke an attack. Vitamin B3 (niacinamide) is excellent at stabilising blood-sugar levels when used in doses of 500mgs three times a day or more. Just be mindful that it can - rarely - upset the liver, and this is usually accompanied by feeling slightly nauseated. Indeed, in clinical trials B3 given in these doses has been shown to be more effective than diazepam (Valium) at stabilising mood. Magnesium is also described as nature's tranquiliser; it has a generally calming effect. Its use in excitable horses has been described as magical!

Sleep - poor quality sleep will result in depression. See Sleep is vital for good health.

Light - Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a common cause of depression. It is probably a universal natural reaction to winter. To survive the winter, the body needs to slow down in order to conserve energy; so, we go into a sort of hibernation. Depression is a part of this. Full-spectrum light can be very helpful for some people. See HEALTHY HOUSE 0845 450 5950 or HEALTHY HOUSE

Lack of Exercise - Exercise is very good at decreasing depression. Exercise could be physical or mental - and preferably both. In fact, some people become hooked on exercise and look forward to their daily buzz to stay healthy. I know I do! The problem is getting started. You actually need someone to drag you out for a walk initially or take you swimming or whatever. Try to find an exercise that you actually enjoy, so that it becomes a pleasure instead of a grind.

Hormonal problems - especially hypothyroidism - can present with depression - see Hypothyroidism - diagnosis of and Hypothyroidism.

Hyperventilation can cause depression, but this is mainly a problem with chronic anxiety. See Hyperventilation.

Prescription medication, addictions and toxic chemicals
Drugs and chemicals acting as allergens and/or toxins can certainly cause depression. Organophosphate pesticides, for example, can induce an acute psychotic disorder; in lesser doses they certainly cause depression."

Ps. I'm not telling u to quit ur meds. That could be dangerous

That’s ok. Take as much time as you need to read or respond. I’m just going to respond now incase I forget or something-

It depends on what you change your diet too. Over in England our health services promoting healthy eating as having dairy (which is cancer causing and an allergen), the biggest portion on the “eat well plate” is also carbohydrates.

What they don’t tell you is that we shouldnt consume too many carbs. That promotes growth of many aerobic microbes in the gut. Aerobic microbes should be 10% and anaerobic microbes should be 90%. Aerobic microbes release toxins as they use oxygen to ferment sugars (carbs) into alcohol.

The damage in our gut caused by pills, allergens ect means that those toxins and the microbes can get pass through the gut and mixed in the blood and travel even into the brain. If you get microbes in your brain you can end up with almost any symptoms, so I was told. (I hear electrical sounds and other junk that isn’t there)

The diet that this Dr recommends is not a one I’d even heard of before until she mentioned it.

Paleo Ketogenic diet, is mostly made up of fats and fibre and using ketones and fat for energy.

Brains love fat. This is why our brains love omegas.
The myelin sheath of the neurones in the brain are mostly made of fat. The absence of the fat we need means we may end up with a lack of myelin sheath, so the messages won’t send properly.

I also read that a lack myelin can result in a disturbed sense of reality.

That could possibly relate to neurotransmitters that affect mood.

I tried PK diet but had to stop as I needed more assistance to continue (it is a complex diet and needs to be done carefully) which I didn’t have. But it DID help me with sleep. It was AMAZING. Because the body is working off ketones instead of blood glucose, it means the body does not wake up through the night. It actually worked! I would sleep ALL through the night!

When your body uses glucose for energy, when the brain runs low on it through the night, the body shunts lots of glucose into the brain to keep brain working. This is what wakes us up.

I do believe you have damage. But I also believe that sometimes damage can be fixed or at very least improved to some degree. Sometimes when one has a stroke, they can recover from it with the right support. Maybe some don’t, but did they get the right support?

They do not tell us about physiological support for our brains to repair. Generally they tell us stuff that will make the pharma companies money. I have neurological damage too in my own individual way.

I have found something that REALLY helped me with my cognition in comparison to how I was, ask when or if you want to know.

PK diet can have some complications so it’s best to be aware of them before anyone would try it. This was why I needed extra support.

When they tested your thyroid, what did they test? The health services over here, they miss important bits out sometimes.

And were your results the bottom end of “normal range”?

Very good to see you Legion.