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Husband is filthy.

I am embarrassed by this, but my husband of seven years doesn't bathe regularly or brush his teeth, or even wipe his ***ass after using the toilet. He leaves used tissues lying around and poops on the toilet seat.

He's also really lazy and doesn't do anything around the house, and acts like he's doing me a favor when he cares for our six year old child.

He's a great guy other than that.

Is there any way I can sensitively let him know this is not acceptable behavior in an adult? I am disgusted by it, but also don't want to hurt his feelings.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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adult, hurt, feelings, toilet, disgusted
Replies (12)
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Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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Honestly there isn't a nice way to tell someone they have bad hygiene. And yeah his feelings will probably be hurt and he'll be offended.

Surely you can try to soften the blow as best you can, but it will still be a gut punch most likely. He may not realize that he's stinky...if he did he probably would shower. So he may be inclined to deny it.

Getting passed that initial step and hoping he doesn't blow up on you, i would take baby steps. Ask if he can shower at least once a week and brush at least once a day, (or at least brush and shower when he plans on being intimate).

As far as wanting a medal for watching the kid it really depends on the context...i would be concerned that the situation is fair and approach the discussion from that angle.

Maybe take these issues on one at a time so as not to overwhelm him.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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My brain didn't quite register the wiping part at first.

I'm not sure how to approach the wiping issue. He really does need to wipe everytime. Im not sure if that is something i could take.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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One thing that could help with the toilet a d tissues is asking him to clean it once in a while. Having to do that may make it register for him that he needs to be more considerate.

05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
Lano
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1713410299" title="Apr 18, 2024 3:18">Apr 18, 2024 3:18</time>
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Thats all much easier said than done and you've probably tried it. Sorry you're dealing with that, sounds really gross.

Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
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sounds like man became the sasquatch. tough ****shit. prayers for and to you.

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Cregyn
last online: 01/07, 18:55
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If you have a six year old, how about trying to ask the child what are good hygiene habits in front of your husband.

If the child says correctly, praise them well, and stress how important those are.

If the child does not state them correctly, just explain what is the right thing..

Hopefully, your husband will get the hint. If not, it's gonna have to be more direct way. It is a tough one to deal with, hope it goes well.

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Anonymous
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Cregyn wrote:
If you have a six year old, how about trying to ask the child what are good hygiene habits in front of your husband.

If the child says correctly, praise them well, and stress how important those are.

If the child does not state them correctly, just explain what is the right thing..

Hopefully, your husband will get the hint. If not, it's gonna have to be more direct way. It is a tough one to deal with, hope it goes well.

This is a useful idea.

If it doesn't work, I might have to try it the less pleasant way.

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BigWilly!
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1712698270" title="Apr 9, 2024 21:31">Apr 9, 2024 21:31</time>
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Has your husband always been this way?

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Anonymous
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BigWilly! wrote:
Has your husband always been this way?

He was never a neat freak, but he was not this bad when we first were together. I suspect possibly depression. Or maybe he has decided there's no need to impress me anymore. He has made comments about only cleaning the house if someone is coming over, only bathing if going out, and similar.

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soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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This sounds more like depression to me. Before speaking to him, talk to his doctor first. I wish your whole family well.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Anonymous
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(6 days after post)
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every time i try to answer it seems insensitive because i'm not far behind him.

..i tried tho

hearing about him makes me feel better about me though!
At least some good came of it?

Yorick
Yorick
last online: 02/28, 23:53
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tis the question.. what is the outcome of a female sasquatch? .. begs to wonder hmm

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