Same way you can be great at football but horrible at tennis.
Work and personal lives are different. You are comfortable and happy with who and where you at in your work life. But your personal life is lacking. So you need to work on improving it!

I’d recommend going to meet ups and other events. Join groups in your area with like minded people.

^^^ this

When things are good, people are happy. When things are bad, people are unhappy.

You're happy on one side of the clock, you're unhappy on the other.

Not to be mean, but you could use a little more depth because you're allowing your job to be your only form of validation. When you "clock out" that validation is gone like turning out a light.

The job is still new. Given a few years, you're colleagues will lose that "Atta-boy" steam. The light browns out and your job becomes a pile of chores and the only thing you can think of doing is getting back to the pillow at home.

The work-place "you" cannot be the same person at home because that's not how it works. The "one-size-fits-all-hat" doesn't answer other areas of your life that need tending. You can't expect the "high" of the day to carry you through the door and later into bed. Your alarm clock doesn't sound like little tweeting birds, that's not a rainbow outside your window, and it's not a Jim Carry smile on the Truman Show in the morning when you have to jump start your car in the rain because you were so happy when you got home last night, you forgot to shut the lights off.

You're not supposed to "feel good" every second of the day. The fact that you don't feel bad is good enough - and for most people, getting to that point is a journey.

Home is a place to decompress from the day - good or bad. It's that plank on your ship where you bid the day farewell and focus on other priorities. Cook some dinner and do some chores - feed your neglected dog and $#!t like that. Think where you want to be 5, 10, and 15 years down the road and start connecting the dots and building that bridge. And when that's all done, watch a movie, play a game, get ready for bed and get to sleep.

If I met you on the weekend (speaking for myself, here), I could careless what you do for a living. I could careless how amazing your job is and how great it makes you feel. What I want to know is, what are we doing right now? We're on the 5th frame in lane 7 at the bowling alley, what are you going to do to strike that $#!t out?
Meanwhile, i'm looking at a hot babe who must be someones sister and you should be concerned if the chick I'm looking at has a sister too.
I'm just not concerned with your upcoming pay raise on top of great medical and retirement plans....*her* sister is....and she needs to learn that you would run into burning vet clinics to save puppys and kittens.
We need to be more worried about getting those Double Mint Twins over here in our lane. And regardless if they can't hit the broadside of a barn, every frame they roll is a ten pin strike.
You need to work on making comming home something that's more important than going to your amazing job.

Well the good news is that you're working and able to provide a home.
Work is control and a war that you win at and are respected.
Home is a retreat which you claim you suck at.
Home or place to rest and recharge where you are safe and comfortable.
If you are not safe, loved or comfortable, make a work decision. Change it.
Kind in mind that some people function well with a small studio apartment which give them only the basics.

I have a friend that's only home about 50 days a year, sucks but we make do.

I completely understand where you are coming from. at uni and work i largely excel and i am the bubbliest, most out going person. also true when i actually do go out and socialise (this usually involved going drinking with people). but at home i feel the opposite and its very frustrating.

Learing to feel comfortable and worthy in your own company is diffucult and something i am still learning to do. i have a very small social circle of people who i will 'hang out' with. lately its litterally consisted of one person (tonight we built a pillow fort and watched movies because the snows so bad).

as others have suggested trying to meet like minded people can help - im part of a society at uni. however it wast as sucessful as i hoped but the couple of people i do get on with are great.

there is nothing wrong with having a small circle, you might find some of your colleagues want to be friends outside of work too. you miht find that you get pleasure from online friendships through gaming for example.

if you have a hobby you want to try or something that makes you curious. even a cooking class! you never know who you'll meet. dont reject friendships before you give them a chance...something i am guilty of doing myself but again something i am also working on changing. some people will dissappoint you, not be long term, or it jsut wont work. but how will you knwo unless you try?

I hear this from single people, celebrities and single executives.
You need a mate, mate:)

Hey Max....look over there... It's the Double Mint Twins....and they brought their girlfriends with them. We're gonna need more balls in this lane Chaos! Now reset the pins...I'll be right back.
------
(Ladies, I seem to have misplaced my congressional medal of honor, would you like to help me find it right over there with my two friends?)

lol..yep. As the pop song say's "guys love misery", but guys are not that complicated. Feed them, compliment them and don't touch them until they're done mowing the lawn:)

First of all with the creme try stirring constantly with a whisk, and using a lower heat while everythings combineing. it takes longer but should make it smoother.

Clearly there are some faulty cognitions going round in your mind. i have questioned before whether my assumption of being ditched as a friend has infact been the reason that i have ended up being ditched. the subconscious part of the mind working against what you think youre trying to get towards and making some known realised mistake keep reoccuring.

My most recent abandonment of friends comes from a lifestyle choice change i had to make to be able to get a job when i finish uni. all of the friends that i had who also endulge in that lifestyle have since not messaged me, come over or anything. i thought for many of them after so many years our friendships would go deeper than that but apparently i was wrong. in the past its felt as though i had specific uses for people - im a pleaser and want to make people happy and help. suddenly they dont need it anymore and bye bye.

the older ive got (im an old uni student) the pickier ive become with potential friends and as such they seem to stick better though its definitely not fool proof. i have found that while i now have more stable friendships they will ebb ad flow in the closeness we keep. a couple live in london but come home for a month at a time and when theyre home we're really close but when they go we dont keep in contact so much. almost makes the time when they're home more special as we have lots of catching up to do. though it does mean when they go back to london i am mostly on my own apart from that one friend at uni.

i understand the 'is it the hobby or the friends i want' mentality. simple truth is you dont know til you try. an if you really do enjoy the hobby chances are youre more likely to get on with the people there i suppose as itll be a mutual interest and arguably certain people enjoy certain things.

i would say though, to get some pazzazz back in your personal life you need to feel some form of accomplishment in it. i assume you do well at your work, just as i do and same with uni. it gives me the motivation to go for it and the confidence to let that side of me out. comparitively when lifes beating you down, and god its a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it sometimes, that also gets beaten away. the sence of importance and confidence is deminished and as such the vitality that would come along with it. its caused me to seek therapy on more than one occasion which has helped with fault through processes and self worth issues but ultimately life does end up putting me back in my place. though i am getting much better at managing its effects and dealing with it. having a place like this to vent about everything is very helpful!

as for evidence, chances are youre minimising the positive bits and exaggerating the bad bits. you might not think you are or even notice youre doing it but its usually the case. my drunk self is often one to point this out as she is such a happy person and tells myself how it is. drunk me is very inspirational. and its never too late to change a mindset, maybe a therapist would do you good. might even help you figure out patterns youve yet to notice yourself as to why you go round in circles. as im in training to be one im starting to learn the sneaky techniques they use to do this!