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If you want to befriend someone of the opposite gender and don't want to seem "interested", how?

I'm socially awkward. I seriously really don't know how. I don't want to lead anyone on.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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interested, gender, awkward, socially, lead
Replies (15)
Fb img 1600821388622
(8 minutes after post)
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Act the same as you would with someone of the same ***sex.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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Shoutout0
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(25 minutes after post)
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Truthfully, you have absolute zero control of how someone will interpret the words you choose to relay.

Roccoflip
(26 minutes after post)
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Ask them to hang out in groups with other people (at least to start) and do group/hang out stuff- not date stuff.

Play games instead of watching movies, do sporty activities rather than going to a restaurant, etc.

Roccoflip
(28 minutes after post)
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And like @soco said- there comes a point where this is outside of your control and people will think and feel however they may. But you need to be straightforward and honest with them. If it ever starts to seem like more, itโ€™s best to nip it at the bud and clear the air. Be honest and let them know what you are interested in.

Billy mills
last online: 02/18, 4:01
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(1 hour after post)
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Refer to them as "buddy" or "sis". Tell them about other people you find attractive.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(7 hours after post)
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Very good suggestions. Thanks.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
(15 hours after post)
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Ha--risky business! ;-)

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
(1 day after post)
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I'm guessing you're a girl, I can't remember a guy ever saying "I want to be friends with this girl that I'm not interested in sexually". So yeah any guy you befriend will more than likely try to make the relationship more than you want it to be, that's what guys generally do. Of course I'm a dinosaur and men are changing a lot, maybe there are actually guys out there who can just be friends with a girl these days. It's possible, heck people don't even know what gender they are anymore.

Help me with:

I need help.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(1 day after post)
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Yes, I'm a girl.

I notice guys are saying it's not possible. What about online friendship? If a girl/woman sends a guy a message, does he automatically think she "wants" him?

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(1 day after post)
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Why would gender matter on the internet?

Roccoflip
(1 day after post)
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Gender only matters because it actually plays a significant role in our behavior.

And I think most of the advice given was actually not gender based?

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
(1 day after post)
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Anonymous wrote:
Yes, I'm a girl.

I notice guys are saying it's not possible. What about online friendship? If a girl/woman sends a guy a message, does he automatically think she "wants" him?

Most likely, yes. At least he considers that to be a possibility.

People are constantly seeking validation. And affection. And love.

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
(1 day after post)
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I'm sure you can have an online friendship with a guy without any sexual advances. If you're just kind of cold and matter of fact and not too overly friendly it shouldn't be a problem at all.

But really what is the motivation for the friendship? Are you seeking to gain knowledge or something? I think if you are just looking for companionship without any entanglements it would be easier if there wasn't the whole male/female thing involved.

Help me with:

I need help.

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(1 day after post)
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It's just that I seem to usually relate better to males than to females, that's all. If I see somebody interesting online, I might say hello. I don't want it to be taken as a come-on. I don't want to lead anyone on or deal with the awkwardness of an infatuation. I love my friends, heck I even love some acquaintances and strangers that I find interesting, but not in a sexual or romantic way.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
(2 days after post)
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Truth be told, about 60% of the guys wait for the female to make the first overture. Why? Because they don't want to be "cold calling" and get rejected. When I was in high school, some of the prettiest girls went dateless because guys figured that if they called, they'd be rejected.

One foreseeable problem: if you make a friendly overture, and the guy thinks you're interested, and then you tell him you are not--then you could be labeled as a "tease" and the guys will then avoid you like the plague.

I'd suggest developing some girl friends. Guys also see it as a red flag if a women doesn't have any girlfriends. They think there's a reason if a woman has no gal pals.

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