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Is commitment a truly good thing?

So, I'm not really talking about relationship-wise, although I guess my question would also apply there too. But I just mean in general, is committing yourself fully to anything really a good thing?

I just wonder because I so often change my mind, and it feels like it's unhealthy for me to force myself to do something that I no longer want to do. That being said, I realize that the best things in life take the most work, like being healthy and working out, and succeeding in your career and consistently doing your best. So it feels like committing yourself to the different elements in your life IS the best thing...(like eating healthy, regularly seeing friends, working out, having a positive attitude at work)...but it feels so impossible sometimes to want to always be the best version of me. I feel like I can't commit to that. And it makes me question commitment in general.

(Again, not relationship-wise, because I never have those kinds of serious doubts)

Does anyone else ever feel like this? It's like I will really really want to commit to something awesome, thinking I'm improving myself or getting on the right track, but then time goes by and I get completely derailed.

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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feel, feels, general, commit, relationship-wise
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Billy mills
Lawn
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It is a good idea to set goals for yourself. If you get derailed as time goes by then maybe they were not realistic or maybe you tried to do too many things at once. You can always make adjustments for next time.

For example, if you start with a goal to work out five days per week and you get burned out after a few weeks, it would be easy to get discouraged and give up. But better to figure out what caused you to get burned out and then set new goals. Maybe switch to just 3 days per week. Or maybe do fewer things each workout.

Also, instead of making commitment to do something for a year, commit yourself to do it for three weeks. That is not as overwhelming and three weeks is about how long it takes to develop a habit. After three weeks you can continue, tweak it, or decide that you'd rather focus on something else.

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Sherlock
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Let's say you wanted to be the world's best teacher. Let's be truthful: you would have to burn the midnight oil every night, be consumed with reading, research and writing every waking moment, and would have no real time for yourself. You could end up as the world's best teacher, and still be miserable inside.

Instead, set a high--but reasonably attainable--standard for yourself, e.g., to be a "really good teacher." You would still work hard, but you'd also make time for yourself and others.

Virtually every CEO I've run across has lost his marriage in pursuit of a career. And often his kids become estranged from him. Is material success worth losing your family over?

We should strive for a balance in all things. Workaholics are not happy people.

Nobody, on his or her deathbed, ever said, "Gosh, I really wish I had spent more time at work!"

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Jebus-Zeus
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maybe you should commit yourself...

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Anonymous
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(17 hours after post)
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Jebus-Zeus wrote:
maybe you should commit yourself...

In what way?

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Anonymous
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Lawn wrote:
It is a good idea to set goals for yourself. If you get derailed as time goes by then maybe they were not realistic or maybe you tried to do too many things at once. You can always make adjustments for next time.

For example, if you start with a goal to work out five days per week and you get burned out after a few weeks, it would be easy to get discouraged and give up. But better to figure out what caused you to get burned out and then set new goals. Maybe switch to just 3 days per week. Or maybe do fewer things each workout.

Also, instead of making commitment to do something for a year, commit yourself to do it for three weeks. That is not as overwhelming and three weeks is about how long it takes to develop a habit. After three weeks you can continue, tweak it, or decide that you'd rather focus on something else.

Thank you. That is very helpful, I'll try to do that and see how it goes. Although, I usually end up giving up only a few days in...

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Sherlock wrote:
Let's say you wanted to be the world's best teacher. Let's be truthful: you would have to burn the midnight oil every night, be consumed with reading, research and writing every waking moment, and would have no real time for yourself. You could end up as the world's best teacher, and still be miserable inside.

Instead, set a high--but reasonably attainable--standard for yourself, e.g., to be a "really good teacher." You would still work hard, but you'd also make time for yourself and others.

Virtually every CEO I've run across has lost his marriage in pursuit of a career. And often his kids become estranged from him. Is material success worth losing your family over?

We should strive for a balance in all things. Workaholics are not happy people.

Nobody, on his or her deathbed, ever said, "Gosh, I really wish I had spent more time at work!"

That is a very valid point and I hadn't considered it, actually. Thank you!

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verge
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I mostly agree with what the other posters said. Commitment is extremely important, but you have to commit to the right things. Usually if you find yourself failing over and over in a goal, it's too far ahead, there's a different thing you might need to hammer down first. Another thing to take a really close look at is motivation. You'll find that if your motives are really coming from the heart, it's easier to commit. It's easy to get shamed into certain goals in this day and age and kind of hold other people's standards or dreams as our own, it's apparent that we don't really want something the way we think we do if we keep sabotaging ourselves, but sometimes all it takes is examining inner motives to discover we were on the right track but for the wrong reasons and then use new confidence of will to achieve what we set out to do.

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soco
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I suppose it all depends on the object of this commitment. A new rock band you happen to catch at a neighborhood hangout, probably not long term.
On the flip side, a child you carry for 9 months and give birth to, absolutely!

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Billy mills
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Anonymous wrote:
Although, I usually end up giving up only a few days in...

Figure out what prevents you from starting a given activity. Try to eliminate barriers to starting because that is usually the critical part. For example, I made a goal to stretch for 10 minutes every night because working at a desk = tight hamstrings and hip flexors / bad posture / etc. It seemed a simple enough goal but after a few days I stopped doing it. It was boring and there was always something more interesting or more important to do.

So I decided to shorten it to 6 minutes. Even then I put it off until I was too tired and just didn't do it. Part of the problem was decision fatigue. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decision_fatigue

Even simple decisions, like picking out a stretch to do and how long to do it, can drain motivation. Especially if you are already tired. So one night I installed a little interval timer app on my phone and made a 6-minute sequence. I read somewhere that you only need 40 seconds of a given stretch to improve flexibility, so that's 9 stretches.

So now I just open the app and start the sequence. I don't even have to think. I just start it and space out. Make starting as easy as possible.

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How difficult is it to build a back-end rest API with Amazon Web Services?

Yorick
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no comment

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Wil
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I think there's a difference between commitment and investment. I'm committed to my job, and thats evident to people who see my work ethic and my engagement at work. But I'm not invested in it in the sense that I'm ready for leave for New opportunities.

Being committed to what's in front of me is more eof a habit I've formed I think. I like being focussed on something. But I'm invested in very little beyond my family. We have to be able to give things up if holding onto them are beyond our control.

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Anon wrote:
Is commitment a truly good thing?

Well, if you have to ask then it is best NOT to give anyone the impression of commitment.

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Anonymous
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BIG.AL.ONE wrote:

Anon wrote:
Is commitment a truly good thing?

Well, if you have to ask then it is best NOT to give anyone the impression of commitment.

What makes you say that?

A
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