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Fill my heart with mercy please!

I want to love better. How have you loved unconditionally?

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Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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love, heart, loved, mercy, unconditionally
Replies (17)
Original Poster
Anonymous
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(27 seconds after post)
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Wow I like my anon avatar!

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Anonymous
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(4 minutes after post)
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Or I mean you could just tell me about how someone or your god or life was helpfully merciful to you at some point.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I have but not in the relationship sense. I love my grandpa unconditionally and I honestly don’t know if I could survive without him.

I think that in order to love unconditionally in the relationship sense you have to love yourself unconditionally first. This is something I need to work on but I think once I realize what I deserve I could be in a functioning relationship with that kind of love.

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Anonymous
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(59 minutes after post)
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Thank you for replying! The catalyst of the post is my boyfriend blew me off and I feel unforgiving. I want to be kind and understanding though, that's what makes everything good. Maybe if I just say "I love myself unconditionally" a million times I will have more compassion! I love myself unconditionally I love myself unconditionally I love myself unconditionally. whatever

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Kalinihta
last online: 02/03, 11:07
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Love is not a grocery store to count what you gave, what I gave, what the other. you either give everything from your soul, or sit on your corner and count what you did not get.

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smiley
last online: 11/26, 18:47
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Love unconditionally is a meaningless phrase. You either love, or you don't. Obviously if you love, you love. That doesn't mean you like or agree with.

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Grim_Hardcastle
last online: 02/06, 7:16
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Observe what you do, find out why and work on how to better yourself. Its a journey, not a destination.

Loving unconditionally is difficult. We do things out of motivation. Love in itself is or it is not. There are no conditions left there. The conditions come in the practical applications.

Within love i find the greatest pleasure and the worst pain. But i´ll do it all again and again to grow.

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Anonymous
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(17 hours after post)
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Thanks guys, I think it's worth it to give all for good. I just really have trouble in a few areas.

Kalinihta wrote:
Love is not a grocery store to count what you gave, what I gave, what the other. you either give everything from your soul, or sit on your corner and count what you did not get.

Well I don't keep track, I count my blessings instead, that's for sure. I do have trouble dealing with certain situations that keep happening though. A book I've been reading on and off says that there's a way to take responsibility and cope with the experience but I need more practice.

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Anonymous
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(18 hours after post)
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smiley wrote:
Love unconditionally is a meaningless phrase. You either love, or you don't. Obviously if you love, you love. That doesn't mean you like or agree with.

Good point, I choose to love. Maybe it's okay that I'm not okay with something.

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Anonymous
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(18 hours after post)
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Grim_Hardcastle wrote:
Observe what you do, find out why and work on how to better yourself. Its a journey, not a destination.

Loving unconditionally is difficult. We do things out of motivation. Love in itself is or it is not. There are no conditions left there. The conditions come in the practical applications.

Within love i find the greatest pleasure and the worst pain. But i´ll do it all again and again to grow.

Thanks Grim, I find it super worthwhile to love. I am working on knowing myself and my reactions better so I can respond in alignment with my true values. No conditions is an empowering truth. What are the conditions? Nothing! Do your worst lover!!!

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Anonymous wrote:
Thank you for replying! The catalyst of the post is my boyfriend blew me off and I feel unforgiving. I want to be kind and understanding though, that's what makes everything good. Maybe if I just say "I love myself unconditionally" a million times I will have more compassion! I love myself unconditionally I love myself unconditionally I love myself unconditionally. whatever

Speaking as someone who is a people pleaser and avoids confrontation I do the same thing. Sometimes it’s easier to let things go than fight it. But think of what you deserve and don’t let anyone fall short of that. I recently made a list of basic things I deserve and I think that was good for my relationships

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Anonymous
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(19 hours after post)
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music=life wrote:
Speaking as someone who is a people pleaser and avoids confrontation I do the same thing. Sometimes it’s easier to let things go than fight it. But think of what you deserve and don’t let anyone fall short of that. I recently made a list of basic things I deserve and I think that was good for my relationships

That sounds like a really good idea! I deserve this amazing relationship I have, because I cocreated it, but I need to make it a little better. Honestly I just need to get through another day without fear of abandonment making me totally crazy. Thanks for helping.

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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I'm afraid I have the opposite problem, so I can't really give you much helpful advice. :( I tend to be someone who can't stop being nice/caring to even those who are actively and continuously abusing me.

I think the strongest people are those who have found a balance. I'm trying to find it, but I seem to fall back into old habits after trying to make "boundaries" tends to exhaust me or make me anxious and self-critical. It's kind of a self-proved philosophy of "if you don't say 'no' to what people want from you, they'll have no cause to hate you more than you hate yourself."

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music=life
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Aria wrote:
I'm afraid I have the opposite problem, so I can't really give you much helpful advice. :( I tend to be someone who can't stop being nice/caring to even those who are actively and continuously abusing me.

I think the strongest people are those who have found a balance. I'm trying to find it, but I seem to fall back into old habits after trying to make "boundaries" tends to exhaust me or make me anxious and self-critical. It's kind of a self-proved philosophy of "if you don't say 'no' to what people want from you, they'll have no cause to hate you more than you hate yourself."

SAME! I am a huge people pleaser. I am still having trouble doing things for myself vs everyone else

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Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
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Yup! But it's not even just that I'm a people-pleaser, though that's most of it, it's that I always tend to let them get away with horrible stuff, because the conflict or even the idea of the conflict puts me into a hysterical panic - which at some points in my life (many years ago now), resulted in self-harm. I still carry scars.

My mom was horrified to hear the other day when we were celebrating my 2-years-of sobriety date that I stay clean for her. She doesn't understand that the only reason I stopped was because she wanted me to, not because I did...I was content with dying from my addiction. (I didn't tell her that last part)

But that's how I go through life. For my mom, my dogs, the fact there's not yet enough money for the financial burden of my demise... I'm on auto-pilot.

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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Aria wrote:
Yup! But it's not even just that I'm a people-pleaser, though that's most of it, it's that I always tend to let them get away with horrible stuff, because the conflict or even the idea of the conflict puts me into a hysterical panic - which at some points in my life (many years ago now), resulted in self-harm. I still carry scars.

My mom was horrified to hear the other day when we were celebrating my 2-years-of sobriety date that I stay clean for her. She doesn't understand that the only reason I stopped was because she wanted me to, not because I did...I was content with dying from my addiction. (I didn't tell her that last part)

But that's how I go through life. For my mom, my dogs, the fact there's not yet enough money for the financial burden of my demise... I'm on auto-pilot.

I’ve never met anyone who understands that! The reason I won’t kill myself is bc I know it will hurt my family. Congratulations on your sobriety. But I completely understand how you think

Original Poster
Anonymous
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(5 days after post)
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Hello guys, I’m really grateful you are such kind people. I hope that you both come to know your worth and perfection. This life is all there is and you deserve all your love and to be able to say “No!” to people. It might take some time, but people will back off if you stand your ground! It’s important to let jerks know that you respect yourself. Loving yourself is healthy guys! And it’s a decision you make and get better at. There’s too much love in you not to save some for yourself!

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