I tried.
I did my best.
It is done.

when r u coming back?

Hello, sunshine!
I'm glad that you came by, if only to visit and reply to a Post.
It was good to see you again. Until another day perhaps.

Yeah it is. He is gone for now
He usually comes by in the evening or afternoon

I'm okay.
Yeah Yetis birthday. I'm so worried I'll forget. That I'll just be going through the motions without being there on auto pilot and ill forget
And I'll feel so badly

I keep having mini panics every few days when I realize I have thought of it for a few days. I'm just trying to hard to remember

Usually I remember
But lately I've just been. Off. Gone. I dont know. I've been wiped all day but I'm back

I feel a little badly
Like yeti is sad I didnt do it on his birthday
I will say it on his birthday
I just am afraid I wont.
I havent been a good friend lately.

Restless...
But I won't forget to smile.
Thank you for reminding me.
✨😃✨

aww thanks for thinking of me :D ur cool in my book

Well, I panicked but it diminished, thanks to family's support and ash's consolation reminding me I'm excessively pessimistic in predictions.
Salary isn't of that much concern to me, requiring little of material value beyond the modern subsistence costs, and I tend to make the best of menial jobs by devising tools to take care of repetition where possible.

All in good time.😊

Moreover, am nervous whether I'll receive an opportunity to prove myself, due to catch 22 type demands and networking based recruitment.

Not much outside of it. My social life is limited to correspondences with ash, who has been relatively okay or at least preoccupied with her kittens. The rest of the household has seen no major change.

I shouted myself! hah

Oh. His name is Walter

And I might as well show you everyone else cause why not.
Al
http://i64.tinypic.com/2ppzpeu.jpg
Agnes
http://i63.tinypic.com/2eqfd5v.jpg
Eleanor
http://i63.tinypic.com/21d03s5.jpg
Esmé
I know he face is dirty but I have been tryin to leave her alone cause of her babies.
http://i67.tinypic.com/2utqbyu.jpg

And some doggos

Blu
http://i65.tinypic.com/168e8m8.jpg
Vega
http://i65.tinypic.com/i2ps3o.jpg

I just put the down payment down on this male.
http://i66.tinypic.com/106xbv9.jpg
You probably think I'm nuts. Like a hoarder. But I'm not.

It was always my plan to have 7 cats.
2 males. 5 females.
Albert is not a good quality. Hes not a bad quality but not that good.
The reason I dont already have 7 cats is because almost all the cats within 4 hours of me all year have been bad quality or not what I'm looking for.
Dahlia has the best looking facial structure I've seen and her color is rare and takes alot or hard work to achieve. I worry if I sell her I'll never find another like her.
But the boy I needed. All my females show the black gene so the Male must be the red gene and he will do good in shows
http://i65.tinypic.com/2yukm76.jpg

Should I get him? No.
But if I'm going to live I want to continue working towards my goals.
But if I'm going to die I shouldnt.
If I have to live I want to continue on the path. But if I cant bear it I'm going to have made things alot worse

So I dont know what to do. I try to live as though I'll he here tomorrow because If I dont I do try to kill myself.
But if I suddenly snap I'm leaving a huge mess behind me when I die..
So I do t know what to do. But I'm doing it with purpose.

These are Esmé's babies.
http://i66.tinypic.com/ztyx04.jpg
http://i66.tinypic.com/wnw3s.jpg
http://i67.tinypic.com/2q1uykg.jpg

This is them when they were just born
The smallest who didn't make it is so tiny. He was less then half the weight he should have been.
http://i68.tinypic.com/1hoqd.jpg
http://i63.tinypic.com/fvz8fk.jpg

Today I vaccinated all my adult cats.
http://i66.tinypic.com/16lmxiv.jpg

Her family named her Autumn.
http://i63.tinypic.com/16942uc.jpg
http://i63.tinypic.com/vr32nt.jpg
His family named him Gus.
http://i65.tinypic.com/ofc2dx.jpg
http://i65.tinypic.com/10s9pxi.jpg

This one I havent sold cause I'm considering keeping her. I'm calling her Dahlia for now. But I shouldnt because I'm wanting to die. So it would be bad to keep a cat only to kill myself
But when I agreed to sell her I cried. So I've decided to wait. I want to see how I feel closer to her time to go to a new home before I sell her
http://i67.tinypic.com/15ho46e.jpg
http://i66.tinypic.com/2dvlphe.jpg

I'm okay. I'm kinda plunging though. Suicidial or whatever but trying to stay focus on the cats. Its hard though

Anyway the babies just turned 4 weeks old today
Esme had her kittens but they were premature. Lost the smallest
They turned a week old on Saturday but just reached newborn weight on Monday. I'll show you pictures
How are you

Hello.
Some progress along the way, but the hunt entered a more active phase today. There was a certain educational project I wished to complete first, and it took 2wks instead of one, along with the usual diversions.

You have mail - 😃

endaxi

it would be best if we spoke english though greek gives me a freakin headache

ακούω, είμαι βουδιστής και χριστιανός και δεν κάνω μόνο ναρκωτικά στη συνείδησή μου, είμαι ένα συντηρητικό φάρμακο. αλλά σοβαρά όλα του καλά, Ive ήταν παράφρων και Ive ήταν πολύ υγιής. ok, im ok.

Δεν είμαι εξαρτημένος από τα ναρκωτικά

Hello.

I don't pay attention to the news often, but I did notice greece was mentioned the other day; wished to inquire whether you're alright.

From what I can tell, devil's dictionary is to the dictionary of obscure sorrows as hitchhiker's guide is to star trek (or nasa). It's more akin to adams' meaning of liff, dressed in a monkey suit & monocle, crashing a party for the upper class dictionaries, hobnobbing with them through spreading gossip and obscure references.

What is it that you find most enticing about each of these favourite locations?
Personally I'm more a rivendell sort of fellow.

Fire is a problem when you don't have water or with imbeciles and arseholes. Humans fail in both these areas.
Besides, in the words of gandalf, "Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise cannot see all ends.".
Indeed, that's the spelling (or wookiee planet c), and an interesting detail to recall by one who attests to memory loss.
Which planets would you prefer to visit first, in that case?
Now that you mention it, I think antigone was probably one of the first works we had (other than poems), and the analysis I gave for that was the cause for her calling me out for every new work, prolly since it brought up some underlying points of logic or tools or summat which were later discussed, whereas the rest of the class didn't really connect with it. In any case, the details were forgotten by now as most of my studies, existing as dreams and notebooks.
Never put much stock in numerology meself. Were I to decipher anything, it'd be messages from people I care about. And it would be of atypical grammar or spelling varieties.
I don't feel much need for religion to tell me stuff when I have a second hand istar and great banana to do the same.

By the way, check out ambrose bierce's devil's dictionary (if you have any spare reading time) - it's the ultimate guide for grandiloquence and sarcasm.

My medicine is a controlled substance so I can't go sooner for refills

Here you go:
https://rewordify.com/

Click on words for definition.

Indeed; had evolution not constantly fallen asleep on the job (and who can blame it, given its meagre salary and vast quantity of unpaid overtime) we'd all be wookiees rather than glabrescent (ety: latin) trolls. You should hug one if ever granted passage through the fictional multiverse.

Oh, tragedy lessons - how marvellously specific. Ours were christened literature, and save for antigone, the only tragic things about them were my analyses and grades, betimes complemented with a greek chorus (perchance in my head, but isn't that how they work anyway?). For some reason my teacher wouldn't abandon her quest to sway me off my evil scientific approach.
Do you mean to say you seek knowledge of religions in general? A scholar of sorts? Or is that merely to deepen the verisimilitude / realism of your assumed identities?

Uhg. I guess I didn't do the whisper thing right

It's weird. I used to struggle just to get up
And now I can tackle everything i do in a week in a day.
It's not like I have energy
I dont even have thoughts. I just am able to do it. Today I cleaned my moms kitchen
cleaned my own space. Was outside for 2 hours. Bathed all 4 (not the new one) of my cats which is a huge for me. Cause typically I'd only do one
And I've been neglecting there baths lately. I groomed them all.
I've been brushing my teeth. Often i dont even brush my hair. But I'm brushing my hair. Showering more.
I still think i might just take that gun and kill myself though. I'm just waiting for the right time. Part of me worries if I use the gun my step dad will blame himself for keeping it where I can get it.
So i might have to use my straight blade which is harder and more painful but at least then it's just my fault.

As for my birthday.

I think what people dont realize cause they arnt used to me is when I do speak. I mean what I say and I'm in crisis

Seems they just brush it off as
Oh there she goes again. Mrs Drama. But it's not so.

Anyway. I'm on my medication.
It helps but also means I'm quiet
I cant think. I cant day dream. I cant fantasize. My brain is blank.
This makes me a better daughter.
I have been brushing my teeth
I have done the dishes and laundry everyday
I have vacummed everyday
I am going to bed around 9 or 10 and waking up at 6, 7 or 8 am
This morning I woke up at 5:30
I can go to work come home and still feel okay enough to go outside

I dont feel the need to talk
what is there to talk about when you have no thoughts?

Everyone loves the new quiet me. The hard worker me. Able to do things now

But I miss being creative and having thoughts
My thoughts were almost always dark. Dark fantasies about death and such but I miss it

It's so strange to literally not have these racing thoughts
I have none.
Mom saysit's better. That my brain is resting.

But I'm tempted to go off the meds and see my thoughts and creativity and passion for things comes back.

A few months ago when i joined my mental health was so bad I was seeing and hearing things. I was really deteriorated.
I wish people would take me serious.
But right now im okay.

I still plan to kill myself. But because I cant think I feel delayed.
I have a plan already but typically i plan and think everyday. Perfecting it

I'm unable think. So. That makes it harder. But when the time is right i will know and act on it.

But I'm doing fine I suppose.

I'm a bit busy.Now that i can function I've been working more. Something i typically cant handle. And I just got a new cat. Shes old. 11 years old. Persians live 12-17 years. With her history I dont imagine shell live on the higher end of that spectrum. I am also fostering a womens cat for 4 months.
So I've been focusing on my animals. Cats. Pup. Soon I'll be working with the horse.

My birthday is coming up. That may send me spiraling out of control

How are you

It's a little worse, actually. I can't quite form coherent sentences in speech. I'd often either have a translator (someone who knows my speech patterns and the topic to guesstimate my thoughts), or reduce to single words.

The air of mystery may have to live on, as I've avoided appearing in photographs for many years. Notwithstanding, you may think of this handsome creature as being modelled after me (with some serious cinematic adaptation):
http://paintingandframe.com/uploadpic/michael_g...
If your physics teachers look like that, they might be cousins of the abominable snowman that is I.
Ho, we've only had such numbers in eschewed optional courses (other than myself, sometimes they were easier to pass). Suppose either your universities have propagated quite wildly, or fewer students of physics?

Hmm, that's a fascinating way to put it. "Only remnant from childhood"? Have you lost these memories, or abandoned them?

It would be nice, but these aren't always the voices I care to recall. Alack, my cats' don't register at all.

Nevertheless, I think the cryptographic authentication process was a success - each party knows that the other party knows who they are. :)

Uh, I thought that was the last sentence. Would you please quote the unclear one, then?

Say, have you had any classes in greek mythology during school years? Or christian bible studies?

Indeed, he knows I'm pretty good at it, but I'm fairly mediocre in speech, all around, so it doesn't quite live up to expectations.

I notice greek roots - grandfather would say knowing them is one easy way of expanding vocabulary, or something to that effect, given their ubiquity in scientific circles (though the letters made math kind of nightmarish - an instrument of torture in the hands of sadists!).
Sorry if it seemed like I was suggesting you have prosopagnosia. Just a random remark, as I'm predisposed to broaching.
I think you'd probably remember both my long hair AND hobo beard! And it would scar your neurons forever.
"Mental imaging" works in that context.

How quaint that your professor knew you by name, and noticed whether you were paying attention. Must be master or doctorate level studies, or your schools differ quite a bit.
I'm uncertain of the nature of this phenomenon - do you mean to say, your vision is physically blurred in the center (like a blind spot acting as peripheral vision), that you were staring inattentively (ie zoning out), or are you referring to crossed eyes perchance?

About voices? I meant that I probably remember them better than faces in some cases - trying to recall a face usually results in a vague and static image at best, but when recalling voices they're more dynamic, able to imagine them saying random utterances.

Mailed it. Nevertheless, I don't really mind whether communication's through mail or here. I always assume online exchanges are public and permanent, mail's slightly more convenient since helpcom doesn't have its own image server.

yeah i eat a ton of raw veggies, also fruitarianism, once i ate only grapes for like 9 days, i think i ate like 40 pounds of grapes. the seeded ones are the best for you, tons of polyphenols, grapes are surprisingly good for you. im vegan but only about 45% raw

Well, "eccentric" or "quirky" would be my first choice, however I suppose "funny" is as good a synonym as any.
Now that you mention it, some bugs do have a collective female gender - ants (reasonable, on account of their hierarchy), bees, wasps, worms, dragonflies, beetles. No it. I tried to look up the etymology, but it's probably not available if documented at all. Mayhap it's a bit stereotypical, but I'd say greeks have more scholastic roots and a bit more historical consistency than heb, linguistically. My grandfather's probably turning in his grave, both for my ignorance and disinterest. He was a professor of the native language and fluid mathematics.

Huh, guess my estimate was slightly modest. You're more like the grecian sherlock holmes, although the surreptitious part of the job description remains to be seen.
Did you know there's a condition wherein one is unable to recall faces? Prosopagnosia, or face blindness - seen a documentary once. They use clothing styles to recognise their friends.
I avoid eye contact, but oddly I could recall the faces of people with whom I'd worked from glances, better than from images which I'd concentrated on memorising (erst gf), and unfortunately my cats. I think I recall these colleagues' voices even better - I'm roughly able to manipulate it to express a few of your sentences, maugre rarely hearing their english if at all.

Hum, that's quite accurate. I mean, technically I'm merely an ancient relic, but I do partake in exploring, chronicling and cataloguing bygone times more than recent trends. And a little time travel on the side, but don't tell the hooded blokes, they get all tensed up about it.
Nay, politics is based on deception to accumulate power. I prefer the truth or fantastic prevarication.
Here, door is female, chair male, mammals always have two forms (some adding a letter, some have two different names), other animals (fish / bugs) male, though the noun "animal" is female.
We moved here when the settlement had been established, I don't think there were many back then, and mother discouraged any interaction. Besides, I didn't really conduct a survey of such details amongst the youths, as they would shy away from attention then.
Being able to tell from physiognomy / countenance is an impressive skill, methinks.
It's reasonable that you wouldn't know of others - where and why would they advertise it, other than in personal exchange? Notwithstanding, their absence is notable for the seeker.

thanks for the trip down memory lane