HelpQA Tags Search FAQ
Start a New Post Chat Login & Registration
This post left anonymously

My little bro is getting married.

I’m super happy for him. And I love his fiancée.

But now I’m the only one in the family with no partner and not married. I’m 30 now and it kinda makes me sad. I don’t want anyone. I’m quite happy alone. But I feel very self concious now. Idk how to feel

This open post was written |
Views: 39, Subscribers: 5 |
Leave a reply | Report Post

⇩ Zoom to bottom
Reciprocity (0)
Reciprocity
Since writing this post Anonymous may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
Post Tags (5)
feel, happy, idk, married, concious
Replies (11)
Helpbot
HelpBot
last online: 11/12, 21:32
Verified User (8 years, 3 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(0 minutes after post)
Suicide Prevention Lifeline

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

Call this hotline (1-800-273-8255) operated by our friends at the Suicide Prevention Lifeline, anytime, for free, professional, and confidential assistance. While other Helpers are likely to reply to your post, please make sure you understand that your use of Help-QA.com falls under our TOS.

Note: I'm a robot that the Help-QA creators programmed. If this response is in error, I apologize, please ignore it.

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: 11/07, 8:58
Help-QA Admin
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 hour after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Just be happy for him. Some people don't need companionship- or they find it in other ways. Humans are a social species, so make sure you do get out once in a while and interact with other humans, but outside of that, I see nothing wrong with that lifestyle.

2vbsok9
Grim_Hardcastle
last online: 02/06, 7:16
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

What others do should not be taken into account of what you need to do for your own happiness.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

There will come a point as you age where you may find yourself wanting/needing someone for every reason.
Time generally weeds out the ability to mate up - it doesn't get easier as you get older.
At 30, you're young enough to have the vigors you did when you were in your 20's but....you aren't in your 20's.
Looking ahead (foresight) can save you from a many lonely day.

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
DocteurRalph
last online: 10/23, 23:49
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(3 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

So do you live all alone by yourself? That's the part I could never handle, I have to have people around. I didn't get married until I was almost 30 but I only lived alone once for about a year. After that I started renting houses with two or even three other people just to have people around. Eventually I started wanting to have my own kids, you know be surrounded by people that were all family but not mom and dad... maybe eventually you'll want that. If you don't then there's really not any reason to get married... certainly not because your little brother got married.

Help me with:

I need help.

Img 2679
verge
last online: 03/08, 18:09
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(22 hours after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Be happy that you both are living the life you want to!

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(1 day after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

32, no relationship in a long time and still a virgin - my brother is engaged after already been divorced and his fiancee is a psycho who gives me panic attacks and I suspect is living her life through psychosis.

I'm still rather content with being alone. I'm going through a Single Mothers By Choice when the time comes that I'm ready. I don't need a relationship to feel fulfilled.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Aria wrote:
I'm going through a Single Mothers By Choice when the time comes that I'm ready. I don't need a relationship to feel fulfilled.

You may not "need" a relationship to "feel" fulfilled, however, I would debate the needs of the child will invariably require the need of the other parent.

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(2 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

BIG.AL.ONE wrote:

Aria wrote:
I'm going through a Single Mothers By Choice when the time comes that I'm ready. I don't need a relationship to feel fulfilled.

You may not "need" a relationship to "feel" fulfilled, however, I would debate the needs of the child will invariably require the need of the other parent.

There are thousands of single parents that do pretty well and can still raise well-adjusted children. I'm not saying that it's the only avenue I'm looking at - but it would be rather ridiculous to choose a guy within my limited biological clock (which is barely functioning in the first place due to infertility issues) just because of the concept that a child cannot be raised in a single=parent home.

I'm asexual for a start. There's not exactly a lot of choice to begin with, with just that alone.

But yes, it is a controversial thing for a lot of people who encounter SMBCs because there's still a lot of belief that children will only function in a two-parent home, but it's not impossible. I think my children would probably rather know that I adore them regardless, and if I was to force myself into a relationship in order to fit the standard, I'd be miserable. That would probably cause more damage to my children than the alternative.

Electric
BA1
last online: 01/25, 20:20
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(3 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Aria wrote:
There are thousands of single parents that do pretty well and can still raise well-adjusted children.

I became more aware of single parent kids immediately after the divorce of my own parents at 11. The most I've heard in my life, to date is, "I did the best I could," from any one of them, just as my own mom did the best she could.
I turned out fairly well adjusted, (as other kids of single parents have), but the lack of balance still exists.
Also, there is a distinction between the effort(s) of a single parent and the result that takes place within the child.

I'm not saying that it's the only avenue I'm looking at - but it would be rather ridiculous to choose a guy within my limited biological clock (which is barely functioning in the first place due to infertility issues) just because of the concept that a child cannot be raised in a single=parent home.

No argument from me - being raised in a single parent home is actually not a concept, but something that has happened down through the ages - the only question with our era is the overwhelming number of single parent kids do not reflect the historic percent ratios based on population (it far more), and so are the reasons.

I'm asexual for a start. There's not exactly a lot of choice to begin with, with just that alone.

Yet your prodigy may not have a choice regarding their own emotional directives - they may likely be Atypical and require "binary responses."

But yes, it is a controversial thing for a lot of people who encounter SMBCs because there's still a lot of belief that children will only function in a two-parent home, but it's not impossible.

IMHO the present can be contrasted to history and belief systems can be founded empirically or perceptively...are we really doing that much better today than we were yesterday, regarding the household?

I think my children would probably rather know that I adore them regardless, and if I was to force myself into a relationship in order to fit the standard, I'd be miserable. That would probably cause more damage to my children than the alternative.

I know my mom adored me and certainly she knew I loved her, yet, I do feel that I could have been more fortified knowing my father better than I did in the long run - which has no bearing on other relationships my own mom could have chose, (after all, she and dad divorced for a reason and, as you said, it would do no kid well to endure parents who are constantly at each other).
It's a difficult proposition at best - of course, I have no chitlins but I was once a tyke....once, haha!😊

Favidbowiepic
Aria
last online: 03/16, 22:34
Verified User (7 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
#
(4 days after post)
Quote this reply Report this reply to moderators

Oh, I definitely get where you're coming from. My parents divorced when I was 12, but in my personal experience, it was the best decision they ever made. I haven't spoken to my father in more than 3 days since (20 years ago now).

All I was saying is that I've been contemplating this for a long time, in 2015 I went through a donor program, it's my last resort, not my first, or even second. My concern is that people are saying (not you, just in general) that I'd need to be together with the father and that poses a hell of a lot of problems.

- I'm not that keen on even being in a relationship. Seriously. I'm underwhelmed by the idea.
- I'd not only have to search for someone I like and can see knowing and working with for the rest of my life, but they'd ALSO want to have children.
- I'm 32, almost 33, my reproductive organs aren't very co-operative already, and unlike men, I don't constantly produce eggs until I die...there's a cut-off point, and I'm approaching it without mention of the fertility problems, or the health risks of a later pregnancy.
-I have at best, about 7 years to both find a father, get pregnant OR 2 years to find a father, and hoping that 5 years of IVF treatments will work before I'm no longer eligible or approved for treatment.

I've been looking into and research for close to a decade, so it's not something I've just suddenly thought of. Lol. There are actual programs of women who are choosing to become pregnant without having a father involved, and research has been extremely positive on the outcomes.

I'm not saying that the traditional way doesn't work, but there are times when traditional isn't possible for everyone.

A
⇧ Zoom to top

Help-QA supports basic Markdown, emoji 😁, and tagging friends with @username!

To use this site you must be 13 years or older and occasionally submit your email address. Your email address is only shared with your explicit permission.

Home Page - Privacy Policy - Terms of Service - Feedback