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Nevermind
last online: 02/20, 6:06
Verified User (6 years, 2 months)
Long Term User
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My horse died.


She was the picture of health. Strong champion blood lines, built of power.

It feels like it's raining and it will never let up. I'm in a constant state of drowning.
I'm not dead because I am managing to get a few breaths inbetween the waves. Just enough air to continue drowning.

I felt this way before my horse went down.
The past few days I've been crippled with depression and anxiety. Fear. Afraid of my phone, afraid of people, afraid any message will be bad news I can't handle.
Horribly depressed I just want to open my arms, crawl back into bed and come what may but I'm trying so hard to not do that but for some reason I can't make a clean break from mental illness and I guess nobody can. But everyone acts like I can. Like I choose to be this way.

I am terrified to make a move so I just remain frozen under the blankets.
Time still moving.

I am so paranoid I can't get help.

I'm terrified and stuck.

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Since writing this post Nevermind may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
Post Tags (5)
afraid, horse, stuck, drowning, terrified
Replies (6)
Helpbot
(0 minutes after post)

If you are contemplating suicide, hurting yourself, or you are seriously depressed: please, seek professional help!

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Happy earth
(3 hours after post)
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I'm so sorry.

Roccoflip
(8 hours after post)
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Oh @Nevermind. ๐Ÿ™ I'm so sorry to hear that. Losing a pet is akin to losing a member of the family- especially to somebody who cares so deeply for their animals as you do.

I wish there was a magic spell that could just make everything better, but unfortunately, there's not.
All we can do is extend our deepest condolences to you, and assure you that we are here if you want to talk/rant. Sometimes life takes us by surprise and gets a good hit in. Best thing to do is let the wound heal and get back up.

Hang in there.

A
(13 hours after post)
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I'm so sorry for your lost. It is so difficult losing someone close to you. It will take time to heal. Just keep on remembering the good times which helps. Let out all your emotions which helps.

This account has been deactivated.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 03/19, 3:49
Verified User (6 years, 6 months)
Long Term User
Shoutout0
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(1 day after post)
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I'm so sorry Nevermind. I had forgotten you had a horse. I am praying for you.

Img 2679
(1 day after post)
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I am really sorry about your loss. Sometimes when you get like that you have to count down from three, throw the blankets off, and go for a walk or run in whatever state you're in, even if you need a shower and can't find the right shoes and feel like death. Walking for couple hours can heal a mind like nothing.

A
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