It sounds like the problem is that you need to get on your old medication as soon as possible. It could be that that is the root of all these problems. Not trying to be political here, but you might need yourself some Obamacare, it tied me over for two or three years when I was no longer covered by my parents insurance and before I was getting insurance through my job. I paid NOTHING for it. Check it out.

My girlfriend refused to get it because it was "too expensive" (she's getting insurance through her job now). Yet she dished out the penalty every year when she paid her income tax. Doesn't make sense to me.

You weren't. You're having anxiety. That's a good reason not to go to a party.

Depends on the friends. Some friends are easier to talk to and you can vent to them. Some friends are fun friends, you need to just destress by having fun with them, that can sometimes be better than venting.

I find that feeling attractive is a need that most women have. It's biological. Your husband has to help you with that by grabbing your butt and kissing you and telling you you're beautiful.

It's hard because a lot of people don't think about the mental health dynamic of wellness and they think you're making an excuse or something. Sometimes it helps the change the language to something they can relate too. someone asked me recently why I ddin't show up to a social meet up for a while, and the reason was my anxiety, but I said "I just needed a break for a little bit." People don't always understand mental health lingo but if you say stuff like "I'm just really tired." or something similar they can relate more.

In any case if you have regular anxiety bad enough that you are taking medication for it, I'm surprised your husband doesn't empathize more. It can be tough, my own girlfriend has issues where she gets really physically tired and she thinks it may be related to some of her mental health issues. But there have been a few times where I felt like she was using it as an excuse to avoid me or something, my own insecurity creeping up.

Blowing up isn't the end of the world, and we're all a little crazy so there's a degree to which the people who love you just need to adjust to your crazy and apologize on your behalf to the people who don't love you for the embarrassment.

Again, this happened to my girlfriend a few weeks ago, she put herself in an uncomfortable situation (sticking it out for a friend of hers) and reacted to it and I was like, sweetie, you need to calm down, and we ended up going for a ten minute walk so that she could cool off.

I told her, hey, you need to just tell your friend that you can't do something if you're not up for it, don't put yourself in that situation, and don't feel bad that you reacted badly under pressure, it happens.

You can just tell him that until you get back on your medication it might be tough for you to be as social as you used to be. Communication is key. It could be that he's not realizing how hard it is for you right now so when he wants to go out and have fun with you and you say no, it feels kinda fresh and confusing to him, even though it is same-****shit-different-day to you. Like if that day is a particularly anxious day, just let him know as soon as you feel it so he knows how to adjust, or so that you can talk to him about it.

I'm sorry for the way you've been feeling lately, Araz.

I think (though not for certian), that you may be better off without your meds. At first, you may not react well, but I think if you get enough mental excircise, your brain will reset and you will be able to deal with certain pressures no differently than when you were on the meds.
That's strictly my opinion.
As for your social structure - there's no sense in making excuses or outright lying, if you're not "sociable" there is NO need to apologize. Socialization as a recreation is not something I could understand or get used to - you can't just "be yourself" because being yourself becomes a lie under a social construct due to expectations.

Where abouts in the US are you? Are you getting enough sunlight? A couple of years ago I started with bad anxiety, went to the doctor and they did a few blood tests and my vitamin D was super super low. Could that be the problem?

I also feel down if im not eating veggies, so make sure your getting enough iron too.

You know you can always 'burden' us with your day to day problems.... or write it out in a diary and burn it if you dont want to keep it. Funnily enough, it does help.

Do you live in the USA? If so, go to your local health and human services. They will see you without insurance and if you cant afford your visit, they are usually willing to waive the cost.
They will have a counselor sit down with you and figure out about you. If they think you need help urgently theyll work there magic and get you help asap.

I have anxiety too. My anxiety usually leaves to pariniod thoughts and an agitation that makes me not fun.

There are natural ways people have chosen to get rid of anxiety but I've never found a very affective one other than animals.
Unfortunately though they are just a distraction for a while and if you got bad anxiety like me you can find a million new reasons to be anxious.
Sometimes just having someone validate your feelings can be enough to ease your anxiety. When you feel someone is truly listening and hears you out without judgement of how you feel or think. Then they can slowly help you lessen your anxiety.
I'm willing to be that friend whenever. If anyone knows what your going through its me.

Essential oils have worked for alot of people in the mental health world. I dont see how oils can help and I havent tried it.
But maybe you can buy the scent for anxiety and give it a go?

Otherwise I'd try to get in touch with some local services.

If you cant afford it, your local health and human services center has therapists that will see you for free.

Sometimes it can be something unacknowledged in a person's day to day living situation that's causing anxiety. I'll give an example. A good friend of mine was prescribed and taking antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication. At that time he was living in the back of a jeep. He also consumed up to 12 beers a day. Ostensibly, he was 'happy' with his life, having lived this way (and in similar small vehicles) for more than a decade and was collecting disability related to psychological problems.
Well, this rocked on for a while until his jeep started having problems. By coincidence he had to file about 4 years of tax returns around that time. Looking through Craigslist I saw a small, old, and very funky RV for sale in a town about 100 miles away. I convinced him to have a look and to try somethi ng different for once. So, I drove him all the way there, he loved the damned thing, and he drove back in it. I convinced him to install a solar system and found a 12v Waeco cooler/freezer for it also.
Now, I think he's been in that rig for about 4 years, no longer takes antidepressants, cut his Valiums down to 1/3, and drinks less then 1/2the beer he used to.. and has managed to save some money. He's a LOT happier with his lot in life too and better able to deal with setbacks. All it took was to change a few things in his life, some seemingly minor like the cooler (allowed him to buy and keep fresh food instead of eating beans n stews out of a can, saving money at the same time), to basically turn his life around. He ain't 'cured' of his problems, but is far less crippled by them and, therefor, considerably more 'functional'.
Anyway, that's about it.. typing finger getting tired.