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Am I asking a question?

My heart just broke for this poor girl :( I think you should keep doing what youโ€™re doing now. I live in a one bedroom condo and I would 100% take this girl in ๐Ÿ˜ญ

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Lately I've been dreaming stuff.

Spooky ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

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How do you help a depressed spouse?

@BA1 I printed the poem you posted and taped it to my desk at work. Iโ€™ve never read it before, I think it was a good reminder that I needed, especially since Iโ€™ve started having panic attacks again recently. Iโ€™m going to give a copy to hubby, he might like it too

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How do you help a depressed spouse?

@PepperJ I just read your post and some of it is familiar. When I got home today, he was just way more depressed than usual so we talked for a little bit and heโ€™s making an appointment with the doctor tomorrow morning. I offered to do it for him but he declined. He actually brought up going to a psychiatrist himself. Iโ€™m really proud of him, this is the first step.

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How do you help a depressed spouse?

smiley wrote:
If you do things like take a walk outside or go to the gym, can you bring him along?

I keep trying, he keeps saying no.

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Am I asking a question?

Your original post is up! It says NSFW so maybe it had to be approved?

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What happened to my post?

ยฏ_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ

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My oldest turned 18 recently.

Aww I think youโ€™re doing the right thing! Poor girl :( I remember when my parents kicked me out when my (now husband) and I were dating, I stayed with his parents for two weeks. I was older than your sonโ€™s gf. Best advice I can give is to emphasize using birth control and to treat her like a daughter, which I know you have been doing. Donโ€™t pry too much into her family situation but if she wants to talk about it, thatโ€™s great!

Youโ€™re awesome Pepper โค๏ธ

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How do you help a depressed spouse?

PepperJ wrote:
Also, there are a few simple things that tend to make people feel better:

Being outside with the sun shining on your face
Creating something
Learning something new
Playing an instrument
Art....

Maybe try some of those therapeutic sorts of simple things...though I'm sure you've thought of/suggested those things.

I hope he can pull out of this

I have. He is incredibly creative and loves to build things. He started going to the gym for a bit but stopped recently. I need to find something to pull him out of this funk. Once you get into it, itโ€™s hard to get out.

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How do you help a depressed spouse?

PepperJ wrote:
I'm so sorry to hear this. Will he get counseling? Go on meds for a little while (doesn't have to be long term; just long enough to get over the bump in the road)

It's hard for men to admit their feelings, so it seems like that makes it harder for them to heal/accept help.

As Slash said, remind him that you are his wife and that you are there for him. Remind him that not everyone is like those who back stabbed him.

Maybe you can figure out a reason his friend from childhood did that to "explain it away" (not excuse it) because then at least there is a "reason for the craziness that the friend pulled...." which would make your husband know that the friend isn't a jerk for the sake of being a jerk, but that he was between a rock and a hard place or something...

He wonโ€™t see a counselor. When we were having marital issues before all of this happened, convincing him to go to marriage counseling was hard. Unfortunately, we got a therapist who wasnโ€™t the greatest and in the end we went against her advice to get a divorce and worked everything out ourselves. So heโ€™s pretty against counseling for himself which I understand. (Honestly, to quote the counselor at our first session: โ€œyou can get divorced and remarried later if itโ€™s the right thing for you.โ€ What a load of #^%{*|%. So I get it.

He doesnโ€™t hate his former BFFs but he doesnโ€™t forgive them either (he has been approached by them which he has rejected.) I think heโ€™s hurt bc he is the type to always stick up for others, but when the time came, his friends didnโ€™t stand up for him because they didnโ€™t want to โ€œget involvedโ€. I mean, honestly, he has always been the protector of them so I wasnโ€™t surprised but he was :(

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