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ProffVampy
last online: 05/07, 19:08
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When the aftermath of everything crashed down on you...

if anyone is unaware of the recent telenovella of my life please read my previous posts or see below for a brief update:
Was with a guy who was edging towards abusive, have managed to shed myself of him during a rather messy night out which may have ended in a drunk me doing some harsh things.

Well since then i have sucessfully gone on now 2 dates! i feel proud of myslef however i only actually like one of the guys but im in no rush after all of the other drama that has occured.

I should probably tell you whats wrong, well i sent off to see the uni counsellors as generally this year has been rediculously stressful and its really affecting my uni work and general drive to do anything. i get living alone you spend more time on your own but its not something im ued to and its really draining as im often so socialable.
as for the stress i ended things with a long term 4year partner earlier this year as we drifeted into very different lifestyles that wouldnt merge even after a year of trying to sort it. then brought a flat and had to move back in with my parents which was just an awful summer "break". i was then horribly ill for the end of my summer break once i had finally moved in. and then it was back to uni with my awful rebound choice which as per previous posts did not end well. an now im here on my own and its clikcing that im not really coping anymore but no ones replied to my self-refferal and i have now chased them so hopefully i'll hear something soon. the last thing i need to do is throw away the past 2 years of uni and end up back at square 1.

as for the trigger for this in the past couple of days i think it might be sheer exhaustion as the cat hasnt been letting me sleep properly with his constant want to cuddles and feeding..i love him dearly but some nights at 5am i could just strangle him >.<
sorry that was a long one....

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ProffVampy edited this post .

When the aftermath of everything crashed down on you...¬ ¬ if anyone is unaware of the recent telenovella of my life please read my previous posts or see below for a brief update:¬ Was with a guy who was edging towards abusive, have managed to shed myself of him during a rather messy night out which may have ended in a drunk me doing some harsh things.¬ ¬ Well since then i have sucessfully gone on now 2 dates! i feel proud of myslef however i only actually like one of the guys but im in no rush after all of the other drama that has occured. ¬ ¬ I should probably tell you whats wrong, well i sent off to see the uni counsellors as generally this year has been rediculously stressful and its really affecting my uni work and general drive to do anything. i get living alone you spend more time on your own but its not something im ued to and its really draining as im often so socialable. ¬ as for the stress i ended things with a long term 4year partner earlier this year as we drifeted into very different lifestyles that wouldnt merge even after a year of trying to sort it. then brought a flat and had to move back in with my parents which was just an awful summer "break". i was then horribly ill for the end of my summer break once i had finally moved in. and then it was back to uni with my awful rebound choice which as per previous posts did not end well. an now im here on my own and its clikcing that im not really coping anymore but no ones replied to my self-refferal and i have now chased them so hopefully i'll hear something soon. the last thing i need to do is throw away the past 2 years of uni and end up back at square 1. ¬ ¬ as for the trigger for this in the past couple of days i think it might be sheer exhaustion as the cat hasnt been letting me sleep properly with his constant want to cuddles and feeding..i love him dearly but some nights at 5am i could just strangle him >.<¬ sorry that was a long one....

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BuckingFastard(JN)
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Keep chasing your referral up.
They're less than useless with mental health here

If the cats still young it should settle down soon.
Keep ignoring it when you get woken up at 5am

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ProffVampy
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ive chased them this morning, the univeristty one is meant to get back to you within 2/3 working days and its been over a week now.
and hes 4, he doesnt always do this but it goes in waves and i do ignore him but im a light sleeper so he knows he can wake me up >.<

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You are not alone, in this experience. Emotions seem to be dispersing in darkness & silence, but sometimes you can perceive the hints.
Are there any long term effects to this illness?
The past you describe is rough, I understand. But for now, you've broken free from it, at least in concrete obligations if not emotionally. You have big plans for the future. As far as I'm aware, credit for the courses taken doesn't dissipate so you could perchance resume at a later time.

As for the cat, I've had similar issues in the past - heck, she's attacking me as I type! ☺
I've read that cats are naturally crepuscular (active at twilight, early dawn and dusk), but they'll adjust to their feeder's schedule. When she'd wake early, it was sometimes actually due to litter, which she's picky about. When fed & played with a bit ere going to sleep, she seems sufficiently satisfied to sleep in till noon. Admittedly, even when it happens I'm capable of getting the food or litter whilst maintaining a half dazed state, if I don't think myself awake. She's stereotypically capricious and usually return to staring out or resting within no more than 5m.

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[quote]Test.[/quote]

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ProffVampy
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i had therapy about 4years ago when i was at another low point and it really helped, as did this site before that! now hopefully i will have both at the same time and ill excell to new levels!
i know i am free from it but suppose as i am the type to keep my circle small it just feels like everything haunts me and its still there.

and my cat is apty names dorian grey after the character. he looks like an angel but hes the devil. i love him all the world but sometimes he just doesnt want to let me sleep which at the moment is just not helping anything!

Helpcomanimatedyetiwithdot256
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Well, that's part of what the circle is there for - reassurance when forced to expulse someone. To trust in their presence.

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I honestly can't add anything that hasn't been said... Well, written already. I just hope and wish that the coming times are more in your favor.

-Legion.

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PepperJ
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I hope things all work out for the best, Vampy, and that you can get the counseling you need.

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I'm a person of solitude. Anything with regard to the interaction with others on a social scale is determined by my first premise...hence, I have better control of my life (and to many extents, my health).

I have noted that people's addiction to the social construct brings many adverse effects. They put themselves in a situation as to be carried away on the tide of the masses. It never fails to happen. Ever.

People can't stand being alone. People can't stand the sound of silence.

This is why people can't think. Why people can't focus. Why people fall ill.

When people chose the tide of the social construct, they forego the decision-making process and the power to determine things for themselves.

It's not good to be socially starved but when you become homonigized with the construct, attaining personal goals becomes more problematic.

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ProffVampy
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heard back from the uni counsellors and theres a 4-12 week waiting list which isnt great, ive also got in contact with the local professional service so maybe theres will be shorter. its just so nice to have a safe space to talk to people again! hopefully everything smooths out and over christmas i can really focus on all of my uni work :)

Big-al...as someone who went drinking last night that was difficult to read, but i think i get the gist of it thank you.

Helpcomanimatedyetiwithdot256
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Hope you haven't been going overboard with the liquor, vampy... I know how obtuse the system can be when you're not carried away on a stretcher, but you have to bear it for just a bit longer and things will turn around for the better.

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[quote]Test.[/quote]

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ProffVampy
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haha no im not going over board, just my last year at uni so enjoying myself and going out while i can before i re-eter the real world. i dont need to drink that much to party all night long!

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BuckingFastard(JN)
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With regards to the cat issue, when mine first moved in she used to do that all the time.


She is better now as I used to ignore her, or shut her out of the room, or entice her to bed where she would fall asleep

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ProffVampy
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if i close the door he scratches through it. almost like he gets a cat period once a month and decides to be a pain in the arse! hes been better the past couple of nights

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BuckingFastard(JN)
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How about shutting a downstairs door so he can't get up to your bedroom?

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ProffVampy
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i only have a flat with 4 rooms! plus the bedrooms nice and warm for me and him at night and he enjoys being the little spoon for bedtime cuddles. hes largely adorable but he can also the most evil little bugger xD Dorian Grey is a suitable name for him...

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BuckingFastard(JN)
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That's cats for you.

Cats are arse holes!!

I named mine Annie Wilkes after the character from misery and it's very appropriate for her when she wants to be evil.

She also ttakes the little spoon position, and she's fine most of the time, but a massive pain when the mood takes her

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