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Padre_J_Roulston
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1674766116" title="Jan 26, 2023 20:48">Jan 26, 2023 20:48</time>
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Troubling times for us here at Help-QA

It has been brought to my attention that there are people, members of our community, that don’t feel safe here.

They feel attacked, belittled, bullied.

This is unacceptable.

The whole point of this site is for it to be a safe place for people to go. For people to be able to share their troubles, whatever they may be, and get help with those troubles.

If people are unable to do that, then this site has lost its purpose.

I sincerely hope that we, as a community, can rectify this problem.

I ask that everyone remember that this forum is a place of community, and a safe place. If someone shares something, an opinion, fear, desire, anything… don’t attack that person, opinion, or view.

If you have a differing opinion, that is fair, that is fine. I expect that everyone’s opinion will differ to some extent.
Don’t let that difference divide the community.

Be respectful of everyone’s beliefs, and opinions.

I have often said that good relationships are built on the trinity of: Trust, Communication, and Mutual Respect. This is true for all relationships whether romantic, professional, familial, fraternal, etc. And if one pillar is missing then the relationship is going to be miserable. If more than one is missing the relationship is almost guaranteed to fail.
This holds true for the community at large as well.

We all need to respect one another. No mater what differences there are.

We all need to ‘speak’ clearly and concisely. When we use text as our medium of communication, it can be hard to convey emotion, and context properly. Which means that we need to communicate all the better for it.

We all need to trust one another. We need to trust that the advice that we are given, and giving is true to the best of our abilities. We need to be able to trust that the others will respect the rules that govern this forum.

I hope and pray that we can make this a safe place for all again.

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Since writing this post Padre_J_Roulston may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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people, place, opinion, safe, community
Replies (12)
Helpbot
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05ad6afe 1f85 4c4a 8680 4f73a3c1f45c
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1675048002" title="Jan 30, 2023 3:06">Jan 30, 2023 3:06</time>
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(1 hour after post)
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I appreciate this message and I know you are concern is honest and meant with the best possible intentions.

I have a couple of things to get off my chest.

I am sorry some people have felt bullied. I hope that I am not one of the perpetrators. If I am, I believe this is an unfair assessment. This isn't a question, I am just saying, and don't want a response one way or the other on this.

I do regret some of my interactions here of late. Not because I think I was being intentionally cruel to anyone, or excessively abrasive. But because instead of engaging with certain posts, the better route would have been to report them to a moderator. Not because I disagreed with them, but because I think they contained misinformation that could cause people to inadvertently hurt themselves or others. I will do that in the future, in order to have whatever differences I have with the poster (well, really the post-contents) mediated that way.

I don't mean that it should be a one-way thing, and I don't expect something to be taken down just because I reported it. I'm just saying that it isn't up to me, alone, to challenge content if I literally think it is dangerous. A moderator should be involved to verify if my concern is justified.


Does that sound fair, padre?

------------------------------------------------------------

If I understand correctly, you are not saying that people should not disagree, only that they need to really be careful about what they say and how they disagree.

I can appreciate this. No one is perfect when it comes to this. And I will try harder than I normally do to be as clear as I can and make sure people are aware that, when I disagree with them...it's not personal for me. At all.

But in all fairness, I think some people on here seem inordinately shocked and even offended when they get pushback on opinions that are EXTREMELY controversial. I find this difficult to understand.

Another factor here is that alot has been happening of late, everywhere. We're all, every single one of us on here, under a lot more stress than we're usually under. I think this has contributed to a lot with tensions rising. Things are literally life or death out there right now. COVID. The Protests. Impeachment. The upcoming election. Things are very tense and coming to a head. All I mean is...it's no surprise that we're all feeling a little on edge.

Help me with:

So i like beans.

16935743 1750032141977429 1455532587 o
(3 hours after post)
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Lano wrote:

If I understand correctly, you are not saying that people should not disagree, only that they need to really be careful about what they say and how they disagree.

Exactly. Just be respectful to everyone. :)

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 12/31, 17:25
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(12 hours after post)
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Love, love, love that HelpBot made it here. He needs schooled just like us all.

Thank you @Padre_J_Roulston

Roccoflip
(15 hours after post)
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Very well put, Padre!

I think the only thing I would add- is there is always a way to say something in a nicer way. Also no matter how much you disagree with something or somebody, that is no reason to belittle them or their ideas.

I've seen a lot of political debates here lately. The reason they are not allowed is because they always end with somebody offended and they are never educational. They use berates to tear people down for having a different opinion. If you disagree with somebody and you cannot hold your tongue, please, just move on. You are not helping.

12
(18 hours after post)
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Probably just Mera reappearing, I heard she reappears every 3 years the way bad omens sometimes do.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
last online: 12/31, 17:25
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(23 hours after post)
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Can we please just drop it @Jebus-Zeus ? Move on to bigger and better topics please.

Hacksaw tounge
(23 hours after post)
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i hope i wast not the problem, over here i just take so much from all that noise.. virtual noise to be exact.. its hard to trust whats genuine or whats satire.

definitely here to help any way i can.

12
(1 day after post)
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Stop attacking me

soco wrote:
Can we please just drop it @Jebus-Zeus ? Move on to bigger and better topics please.

Fb img 1591105178602
(2 days after post)
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Agreed! When they start coming on my posts with that negative crap, I just close the post, but that really isn't fair to those who just want to talk.

Keep up the good work!

Electric
BA1
last online: 11/17, 17:21
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(4 days after post)
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All is well that ends well.

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(4 days after post)
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Rockster160 wrote:

I've seen a lot of political debates here lately. The reason they are not allowed is because they always end with somebody offended and they are never educational. They use berates to tear people down for having a different opinion. If you disagree with somebody and you cannot hold your tongue, please, just move on. You are not helping.

My generation was always told two topics to avoid are politics and religion, but that didn't turn out so well. I think it's best to teach younger folks how to discuss sensitive topics with respect, honesty and compassion, so they don't repeat history when they're older.

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