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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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My sister is crazy.

Me and my sister are both in our 20s and moved in together. Yesterday she came home telling me her best friend refuses to come over because I make her uncomfortable. (When we first decided to move in together my sister was giving her keys and putting her best friends name on our mail box. Which made me feel like they were moving in together not us. So we got into a fight then). Now she brought up all of that which happened months ago which started a new fight. She moved in before me, got the master bedroom and took the majority of the communal storage space claiming it was fair. When I said something yesterday she started taking everything out of the closets. Removed the Tv in the living room from the wall and put everything in her room. Then left me a note telling me to enjoy my space. I just want to move back with my parents because I canโ€™t take her moodiness. But thatโ€™s not fair that I am the one that has to leave.

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move, telling, space, fair, sister
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BuckingFastard(JN)
last online: 12/25, 20:25
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Can you afford to move out and live alone?

I wouldn't imagine it would be easy living with a sibling.

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Evansent
last online: 08/18, 9:33
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(9 hours after post)
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Itโ€™s no wonder your falling out. I think anyone who decides to move in with their sibling is asking for trouble unless you have a bond (which doesnโ€™t usually exist)
What she has done is totally take over and disregard anything you want to say or do.
As for putting her friends name on the mail box. Cheeky ๐Ÿคฌ thatโ€™s just not on..
No offence but you sound like a pushover, she knows this and therefore knows what buttons to press.
You need to start fighting back or you will always be put on the back burner.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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(9 hours after post)
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I know and then push over and thatโ€™s why sheโ€™s getting away with everything. Thatโ€™s what I thought back yesterday. Today she sent me a text message telling me that she contacted the leasing office to attempt to Sublet at my current room. So essentially sheโ€™s kicking me out

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Evansent
last online: 08/18, 9:33
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(9 hours after post)
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Do you have any rights? If so fight her back. Let her know you ainโ€™t standing for her ๐Ÿคฌ no more.

Bejbybird
Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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Whoa, what a situation! I can't stand my brother even when we are at our best for longer than couple of hours..

I am so sorry your sister is treating you like this :( If you can't move out on your own, hope you will find some solution.

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
DocteurRalph
last online: 10/23, 23:49
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(16 hours after post)
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Is your sister the only one on the lease? GOOD! Hell move out tomorrow. Or better yet stay there and invite strangers over to party all day every day 24/7 and stop paying rent and bills.. You need to learn how to fight fire with fire. Bury the crazy *****bitch.

Help me with:

I need help.

Anonymous
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(18 hours after post)
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Can you move back in with your parents? If you can, Iโ€™d do that - and if sheโ€™s the only one on the lease agreement, let her deal with the payments on her own. Sheโ€™s not very mature.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
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(19 hours after post)
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We are both on the lease. I packed enough work clothes this morning and essentials and am staying with my parents. But thatโ€™s not fair that I am the one that has to move out because we had a disagreement. I want to get more of my stuff but part of me is hoping she is bluffing and will apologize. But I know she wonโ€™t because sheโ€™s stubborn. I am too scared to go back there and face her.

Anonymous
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(19 hours after post)
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I wouldnโ€™t count on an apology, either way - you should go back to confront her about it. Keeping silent wonโ€™t work out well, you can always refuse to give your room up since youโ€™re on the lease if you donโ€™t want to move out.
If you can make peace with one another, that would be best, but her friend can go stuff herself. If you do stay, perhaps just keep your distance and close yourself off from her activities - you donโ€™t have to be friends, just roommates.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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I just donโ€™t want to be in a living situation where I feel uncomfortable and have to hide in my room all the time. I donโ€™t have a confrontational personality

Anonymous
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If it feels unfair, work up the courage to confront, if you feel itโ€™s not worth the confrontation, I guess thereโ€™s nothing you can do except get out the way and let your sister do as she feels?
But she isnโ€™t going to learn any lessons that way, and neither are you.

You donโ€™t have to hide, you can carry on and if sheโ€™s sour about anything (you staying there and not getting her way), thatโ€™s her own issue. We only make hell for ourselves.

Anonymous
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I think in this situation, you guys clash and need to move separate ways.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(4 days after post)
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The issue is not the space that each of you take up, it's much bigger than that. You two need to have a heart to heart discussion of what the underlining issues are. Perhaps with a neutral 3rd party in the room. Kind of like a marriage counselor.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Dr. ralph club zps9ornptsl
DocteurRalph
last online: 10/23, 23:49
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(4 days after post)
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I wouldn't move out without doing something about the lease. You need off of it before you move out or there will be some kind of trouble. I can already smell it from here. If any of the utilities are in your name get that changed too. Call the leasing office yourself and see if your sister was telling the truth.

It seems to me like you are just laying down and letting your sister walk all over you, she's going to be around you all your life you really need to stand up to her. I wouldn't move out, I wouldn't hide in my room, I'd tell her I contacted the leasing agent about sub-letting her room too..

Help me with:

I need help.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
Sherlock
last online: 07/08, 10:43
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My recommendation is to tell your sister that you are sorry that the two of you haven't gotten along, but if she wants you out, then you will temporarily move back in with your parents.

If she got the master bedroom, then she should pay 60% of the rent and the utilities.

From what I am reading, it appears that she wanted you to help her pay for the place, but that she really wanted to move in with her female friend. Putting the friend's name on the mailbox has a lot of undertones.

Personally, I would rather get a Coleman tent and live under a bridge than to be in the situation you describe.

For what it's worth, most roommate situations do not work out. Why? One person buys most of the groceries, while others eat them without paying or buying their fair share. One's clean and the others are messy. One respects the others, but that respect isn't returned. Sooner or later a roommate starts bringing in those of the opposite ***sex to stay, and then it seems like you are living in a barracks, with no vetting of the people who are living with you and resulting in a complete loss of control of your environment.

But as DocteurRalph says, if your sister doesn't start treating you right, tell her you want your name off the lease and that you are moving out. Then do it!

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
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By the way, there is a legal term known as "constructive eviction." It means that while you were not thrown out of your living quarters, they were made so unbearable that you had to leave them--thus "constructive eviction."

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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The situation hasnโ€™t gotten better. Yesterday she texted me that she is not ready to talk but I could come get clothes between 8:30-9pm. It makes me feel as though she is giving me permission to enter a place I help pay for. I was moving past our argument but this just pissed me off. I am not looking forward to this conversation

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
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last online: 07/08, 10:43
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Just because she is your sister does not mean she is your friend, or even that she is a decent human being. She's neither.

I recommend that you get your things and go back home. There are undercurrents here of which you are not aware. She wants you out so she can do things she doesn't want the family to know about.

Can you think of anything you said or did that would make her "best friend" feel uncomfortable?

I feel sorry for anyone who marries your sister. She believes that the way to solve problems is to exhibit extreme degrees of anger and resentment. Those behaviors do not solve problems, but only exacerbate them.

In your situation, I would simply move out and let her worry about paying the rent. She probably has plans for her girl friend to do that, anyway. I pity the girl friend. It will be only a matter of time before your sister hates her and starts giving her the "anger and resentment" treatment!

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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Out of curiosity, how did this living arrangement get started? I don't think it should be you to leave; it should be your sister. She started all this nonsense. Living together is not as easy as it sounds but if I were you I would not allow myself to be walked all over. She can either change HER attitude or be kind enough to hold the door open.

Help me with:

We have another hurricane coming this way.

Anonymous
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(6 days after post)
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Ugh, this just sounds awful, why canโ€™t we choose our family?
I really recommend confronting her about this situation and putting your foot down (regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you feel) - or youโ€™ll let her walk all over you as she already has. Youโ€™ve already given her permission to do that it seems, so retract it.
I feel like throwing stones at her. She sounds like a terrible person.

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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Sheโ€™s coming over tonight for dinner at my parents. Wish me good luck

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Best wishes to you this evening.
Xx

43ca60d0 2fa2 42fe b234 d2ff6891f6dc
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music=life
last online: 03/02, 13:45
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So her options for me are to
A. I move out
B. She move out ( but I am an intern and just graduated and she knows I canโ€™t afford it)
C. Go to therapy so they can tell her she is right and I need to change. And if they say anything different see options A and B

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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(1 week after post)
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Option C.
Diplomacy is and will always remain the answer. Always.

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Anonymous
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(1 week after post)
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If you move out, make sure the contract has your name taken off and all other utilities being paid moved over to her.
Family therapy isnโ€™t covered by insurance (as far as I know) unless they determine that the problem is linked to mental illness, which the therapist will decide.
If she moves out, do you know of anyone who could move in with you to help cover the costs? (Then you risk the same thing happening but with someone else).

My opinion, if you canโ€™t afford to live there on your own, you should move out and wait until you can afford your own place alone.

1581744157174 1581744149313 miss bot
soco
last online: 03/19, 3:49
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It may be unpleasant to live with her but you can make it just as uncomfortable for her. Call it tough love. This would force her to either come to the negotiation table or run. She is playing a game hoping you will quit first. Don't!

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We have another hurricane coming this way.

Sherlock by olga tereshenko d9qdidc
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last online: 07/08, 10:43
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(1 week after post)
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Untenable situation. Get out and let her do as she wishes. She has an agenda you do not know about.

Bejbybird
Mya
last online: 08/21, 7:48
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I am so sorry you are in this situation! :( Wishing you all the best resolving it. xx

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