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Evansent
last online: 08/18, 9:33
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I have a bit of a dilemma.

A friend of mine suffers quite badly with anxiety and she's also a bit bipolar.
While she was looking through my fb friends list (with my permission) she noticed her boyfriend had a picture of another woman. (This Women had sent her picture to him)
I don't think anything funny is going on in fact I'm 100% sure he's not like that.
Anyhow my friend has gone berserk. She is now accusing him of all sorts when the poor guy has done nothing but have a picture what the other woman sent.
In my heart I'm thinking its better he knows about what my friend has seen then he will understand why she is behaving the way she is doing.
Then on the other hand if my friend knows I have told him,there's a chance of us falling out.
I can not sit back and let this guy take the blame for something so innocent.

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Since writing this post Evansent may have helped people, but has not within the last four (4) days.
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Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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I definitely think you need to speak with him. A falling out may happen, or you might save their relationship and save the guy a whole lot of accusation and pain.

If possible, I would suggest reasoning with her as well. Talking her down and explaining the situation. (I know thatโ€™s not always as easy as it sounds- especially when dealing with somebody that has bi-polar.)

6ac6ec97 7651 45c5 b346 63c4b75d6c66
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Evansent
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I did try to reason with her yesterday and told her to leave the poor guy alone otherwise she could push him away. He loves her to pieces. When she saw that picture I've never seen anyone flip like that. Now she's waiting for him to say "btw I've got a picture of?on my fb"
This won't happen cause the poor guy doesn't even know what he's done. I know she will fall out with me if I tell him,but I'm willing to put them two first.

Roccoflip
Rockster160
last online: <time class="timeago" datetime="1730969927" title="Nov 7, 2024 8:58">Nov 7, 2024 8:58</time>
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Regardless, Iโ€™m sure she will forgive you. Even if it takes time.

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Evansent
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Yeah I also think it's the right thing to do, Rockster Like I say I can't see them breaking up over something so trivial. I just needed other perspectives. Thankyou.๐Ÿ˜

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PepperJ
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I think that he needs to know, just my 2 cents :)

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Evansent
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Thanks Pep. I've sent him a message explaining what's happened,but now it's more difficult than I thought. Looking at his fb profile it looks like it's not been used since Jan 2016.
Which means he won't get the message. Now I'll have to speak to him face to face.
Now it might kick off. ๐Ÿ™

Drawn log viking 19
Legion
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Honestly, honestly may sting a little. But letting something like this linger for too long will just give the currently mild situation a chance to blow up.

My 2 cents.

-Legion.

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Aria
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Perhaps you can have a quiet word to him first? Not that I am suggesting you lie to your friend, of course! But perhaps if he is aware of what is amiss, he might be able to be prepared for a situation that might have otherwise turned volatile.

If your friend is mad at you, hopefully, she could get over it once she understands that you had both of their interests in mind. However, I'm always one who plans for the worst, so I'm not exactly preaching what I practice there.

It also might benefit a bit for you to talk to her as calmly as you can (as anxiety with BP traits can be a bit sensitive) and try to get her to understand that though he loves her, that doesn't mean he can read her mind and know what she wants from him regarding this, and that all he will notice is her anger, but without her using her words, he's not going to figure out why or how to approach it with her.

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Jebus-Zeus
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sounds like she used your profile to spy on him, uncool

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Evansent
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Thank so guys for your feed back.๐Ÿ˜Š

Ok so I went round to speak to them both. I just acted casually telling him that I wanted to befriend him therefore my friend had seen who was on his profile and she wasn't very happy about it,she wanted to know why this woman was on it and what was the reason behind it.

Then it kicked off just like ai thought it would.
My friend started accusing him of this, that and the other.I had to be the mediator and tell her stop it!
Eventually things have calmed down but I have a feeling it won't be the end of it.

When her bf left I told her the reason I came round was because I was concerned. The guy did not deserve to be treated that way and it's been bothering me so I wanted them both to be in the same room so we can sort things out.
She said she was going to ask him bring his computer down so she can see who else he's cheating with. I told her don't talk so daft. He loves her so much the guy would never cheat on her.

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Evansent
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Aria wrote:
Perhaps you can have a quiet word to him first? Not that I am suggesting you lie to your friend, of course! But perhaps if he is aware of what is amiss, he might be able to be prepared for a situation that might have otherwise turned volatile.

If your friend is mad at you, hopefully, she could get over it once she understands that you had both of their interests in mind. However, I'm always one who plans for the worst, so I'm not exactly preaching what I practice there.

It also might benefit a bit for you to talk to her as calmly as you can (as anxiety with BP traits can be a bit sensitive) and try to get her to understand that though he loves her, that doesn't mean he can read her mind and know what she wants from him regarding this, and that all he will notice is her anger, but without her using her words, he's not going to figure out why or how to approach it with her.

I had already messaged him,Aria (as a warning) His fb account had not been used since Jan 2016 therefore he would not get the message. That's why I had to do it face to face.

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PepperJ
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Jebus-Zeus wrote:
sounds like she used your profile to spy on him, uncool

I wondered about this too

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Evansent
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She's just really insecure,she's been cheated on in the past so I guess that's partly to do with it.

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PepperJ
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Beautiful profile pic, Evansent

6ac6ec97 7651 45c5 b346 63c4b75d6c66
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Evansent
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Thanks pep, I thought had seen that pic before on fb.๐Ÿ˜Š

6ac6ec97 7651 45c5 b346 63c4b75d6c66
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Evansent
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You'll understand why I'm smiling when you read the comment underneath.

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ProffVampy
last online: 05/07, 19:08
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Evansent wrote:
She's just really insecure,she's been cheated on in the past so I guess that's partly to do with it.

i've been cheated on by all but 1 of my exes so i feel her pain there but its also no reason at all for her to make accusations - trust breeds trust etc. my boyfriend has similar issues to her and tried to accuse me of sleeping with his boss because he left his jumper here after he'd been round to see both of us and i had to say how dare he accuse me of something just because other people have done it, he knows ive had the same experiences. once he realised that accusing me for the sake of it actually wouldnt help anything he stopped and realised that his boss and infact just forgotten his jumper when he'd left.

its easy to irrationalise something espeically with previous bad experiences but if someones not given you a reason to mistrust them then there is usually a decent explanation if theyre willing to hear it and it seems she isnt ready for that yet.

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Evansent
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Thanks Vampy, I'll just have to keep an eye on her. I really do think the world of them both and she knows I'm there when she needs me.

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Your girlfriend may be over the top because of her condition but why would the other lady send your guy friend a picture to begin with?

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