I dont know much about Italian music but that's funny 😂

🤣

I wouldn't do it. I dont think your gaining enough and it's harder and sort of far.
If its 30-45 away that's over an hour just driving each day for work
I feel gas would take alot ot that additional money
But it's an hour+ more of your free time spend just going there and home

My cats have been to the vet a lot
Even tested for worms that normal dewormers dont kill
Negative.

I have actually been suicidal and this way since I was 12.
I never attempted to kill myself till last year
And once I took that plunge it wasnt hard to try again
I know suicide means your gone forever
Also I'm not on medication right now
Im suppose to be but I've been to afraid to see not psychiatrist

I didn't do a risky behavior on purpose to cause the accident
I made a mistake
Didn't see something
Got anxious was sort of lost..

I'm okay today

We got some chickens
I don't really like chickens but maybe I can befriend these chicks

I come back periodically just to watch this @BA1 😄

For the drinking problem I'd look into maybe getting a water fountain. You can get a cheap one on amazon.
Cat's natural instincts tell them not to drink still water because in the wild still water can make them sick. When the water is moving they often drink more.
Also cats in the wild would get most there water from the diet they'd eat. Part of the reason wet food is a good option is cause it keeps them hydrated where as dry food dehydrates them.

Dunno if that helps.
I know you take great care of your cat. When I talk about this stuff in no way am I saying you have to do this. I just like to share what I've learned. Just cause a water fountain or wet food works for me doesn't mean it works for you. Ultimately it's your cat and I have never even met her.

People have misunderstood a bit. Totally understand why. I left out basically all the details.

The issue I was talking about is actually an event. A triggering, event which is a lot of bad news for me.

I shut down on my therapist overwhelmed by the problem, Unsure how to even explain what the problem is.
Because its a topic I'm afraid to talk about. I got my hands on a firearm that is in the house and the ammo. I planned to go across the field, into the woods, call 9-11 to let them know where to recover my body. And Bang. 95% chance death to the right side of my head. I tried to see if I had ANY other options because I felt if I was forced to go through the event id end up killing myself then too. But that situation it wouldn't be as easy, also I don't want to go through the event so i'd rather die now then after.

The truth is I could still do that, I was gonna do it Monday or Tuesday but I feel a little bit more relaxed after I got a voicemail from my therapist. He sounded different. Usually he talks with a lot of energy but this time he was down. And basically he said the situation isn't going to happen because he said he talked to someone about it and he works for the state, sooo he works with this kinda thing sometimes. And he said "I expect to see you Monday". He refused to cancel my appointment which confuses me. My contract is up yet they will never let me cancel. They say "Your in treatment, you have to come". I find this confusing cause everyone is in treatment yet different people are allowed to cancel.

Anyway. He told me Monday he will tell me what he found out and basically he said he fixed the issue so I feel more calm and relaxed. Still super depressed but more calm today.

@Sherlock You said overthinking leads to overreaction. Your absolutely right. One of my problems is someone will say something, or ill start thing about something. This one thing is like 1 star in the sky. But I start to analyze this star and everything that could relate to this star and before you know it, I'm creating my own constellations out of everything I suspect, know, or have heard.

Like today. I got a bill in the mail for $1000 dollars from the ambulance ride after I was in a really bad car crash.
http://i65.tinypic.com/bhycko.jpg
And I have health insurance so they will pay it. Overwhelmed though because I got this bill and worried maybe the insurance didn't pay it on purpose I felt like I am a bad person cause I don't have that money and my thoughts starting spinning about how I'm a bad person and I'll never get out of this hole. How my cats would be better off if I was dead. All over a bill that the insurance will probably cover.

Then I read a quote today that says "Its not who you are that holds you back I'ts who you think your not" And I kinda liked the quote, but instead of just liking the quote I started overthinking it AGAIN. I put this quote in the center of the constellation, connecting all these stars. Who I should be, who I am not, who I am, thinking about all this when the quote is basically the opposite.

I have a problem with that. But I was always yelled at "YOU NEVER THINK ABOUT ME. DO YOU THINK ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOUR SELF? YOUR TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PARENT? WHY CANT YOU JUST BE NORMAL?" So as a little kid I started ********hardcore thinking about everything. Wondering why i'm such a bad daughter and I don't seem to be able to do the girls a normal daughter does.

I know everyone says they aren't normal but I was not right.

I have a bit of an obsession with the cats. Trying to learn everything I can about them so I can be the best owner. When I'm into something I'm ALL the way in. And that same kinda obsession I have for the cats I have for people. With the cats, things are more easy. They love me. They like me today, they'll like me tomorrow. If you are good to them they will like you. With people its a lot more complicated. I think maybe it's because we speak. I say stuff and people may get upset with me. They think I don't care what they have to say, that I'm exhausting, I choose to never be happy which effects there mood.
They think that because of the things I say, but then when they say those things or I get a suspicion they think those things, It makes what I do that they don't like worse. But if I couldn't speak and neither could they. Probably a lot less problems. But not speaking is frustrating and you end up making this rambling post.

Once again I feel I have overthought everything I have said because it's a lot more explained then it needs to be. Maybe that makes it a lot harder to understand. Then I start questioning that.

I get really off topic. I think I have a problem staying on track because my thoughts send me running 1000 miles an hour all over the place. Jumping topic to topic. Yet connecting all them all like dots. The end result is always the same. Its always that I'm such a bad person I need to die.

Even when I'm working my thoughts drift completely off whatever I'm doing into all this.

As of right this second I feel okay. I don't feel okay too often so it's good. But I could feel not okay in minutes. It's not a choice though. Maybe some day i'll find a way to change before I do kill myself. I don't have much faith in that but I think Monday is more likely to be okay then and that's a lot of faith for me.

If you want to and the other wants to, nobody is cheating, and its safe and legal. Go for it.

Your sexual orientation is nobodies business. What purpose does coming out even do? My friend told me once "Why does your family need to know? Do you want to have ***sex with them?" He says its nobodies business except people you wanna have ***sex with or be in a relationship.

So, I wouldn't be concerned with having not come out. That's your business.

Hmm. Well. I know you already did this cause that's the first thing you probably checked but the food?
It may be full but sometimes if your putting out alot of food at a time the food goes stale like how cereal does if you leave the bag open. And they don't like that. So if that's the case is try giving her a smaller amount at a time.

Sometimes older cats are more vocal as they get older but she doesn't seem that old.

Also sometimes it could be a sickness
But i bet she's healthy or else you'd know it most likely.

Or. She could be really playful.
My cats meow when they are energetic so maybe get her some new toys

And if that's not the case 😅
Cats tend to meow to communicate with you.
Depending on what breed she is. Even if she's a domestic she could have a purebred grandpa or something. Some breeds are talkers.

That's as far as my knowledge goes with meowing
My cats are pretty quiet. Though al my tom does a babe call every evening.

Is she spayed? It's kitten season right now so she might be calling for a tom. Looking to have some babies.