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Should I write my professor?

You have learned a very valuable lesson in marketing. The two or three people who were always talking undoubtedly got very high marks. In ANY professional situation, you want to stand out in a positive way. You don't have to be the biggest standout, but you need to be visible. There's a name for people who work hard but never "blow their own horn." That word is "chumps."

You might ask the professor the best way to participate in a lecture format, which is admittedly a difficult thing to do. Lecture is the least desirable format for a class, but it is what 95 percent of university classes are about.

But always make sure the professor knows who you are. Ask some intelligent questions from time to time. Try not to sit in the back row--the profs believe that the least serious students sit there--really. Try to sit in one of the first two rows.

And, as Docteur Ralph says, you have to "talk up" your artwork. It's as much about blather as it is about brush strokes or stone chiseling.

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Buying land

Look at zoning. Make sure someone can't put in a pig farm or cement factory next door.

Make sure you can get clear title.

Make sure there are no underground streams or other geological anomalies, e.g., shifting clay.

Try to see if there's a hoard of Roman coins buried on it! ;-)

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I don't know a lot of the people here.

And you remember me, of course!

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Is being too nice a bad thing?

P.S. Anon, you have zero obligation to "make up" anything to any boy you think has been "oppressed" in any way.

I have seen girls who wouldn't date a boy if he wasn't an "underdog" in some respect. They wouldn't touch nice, successful guys: they went for the guys no other girl would have.

You can't fix the past evils of colonialism, racial or ethnic or religious prejudice, or any other form of discrimination the boy or his parents may have suffered.

You don't choose a lifemate to "fix" things--you choose a lifemate you can depend upon and trust.

By the way, studies have shown "nerdy" guys to be the most loyal, loving and trustworthy.

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Is being too nice a bad thing?

Ah, yes, Anon! You recognize the phenomenon!

Ask yourself what the qualities are in the bad boys that attract you, and the qualities that repel you.

Then find a nice guy who has the qualities that most likely attract you, e.g., self-confidence short of hubris, and doesn't have qualities that repel you, e.g., selfishness, coarseness, inconsideration.

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Iโ€™m wondering if thereโ€™s a term for this:

Yes, I went to Africa four times. And the States. I was quite a busy fellow!

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This is gonna be an unusual one, but appropriate for this site.

Yes.

When you look at what happened on the last day of his life, it does not reflect rational thinking on his part. For one reason or another, he was at the end of his tether--and it could have been drugs, or alcohol, or a combination of the two.

Or he could have just said to himself, "The hell with it."

I had a brother-in-law to commit suicide. His wife had been having an affair with their pastor. The wife, a real shrew, was divorced him and took the kids--and was getting the house he built with his own hands. Then he wrecked a second vehicle. He opened the glove box, took out a .44 magnum revolver, walked into the woods and shot himself. He figured he had lost it all.

So just before pulling the trigger, he must have thought, "The hell with it."

His ex-wife is now living in the house he built, and if what happened affected her at all, she has not shown it. I cannot imagine how she could live there after all she had done to him. She is very likely a sociopath, and cannot empathize with others.

I advised him to go after the pastor with a lawsuit, which he did. The pastor, sensing the noose tightening around his neck, went into his garage, started his car and sat in it until the carbon monoxide took his life.

It was all like a Greek tragedy--you know, those plays where everyone dies.

I was going through my own trials and tribulations at the time, so wasn't any real help to my brother-in-law. It is something I will always regret.

But we cannot bring people back or change the past. All we can do is change the future . . .

. . . and believe that somewhere, somehow, sometime,God is going to right all wrongs and wipe away all tears, and bring us all to a better place.

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I've been having character asasinations for trying to help the mentally ill on Facebook.

My old organizational psychology professor used to say, "When someone comes and says he or she wants to help you, there are always two questions that you will ask yourself: what is this person's competence for helping me, and what is his/her motivation for wanting to help me?"

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The revival of this site is amazing.

Yes, that previous format was for the birds. It just did not "grab" you like the former and present format does!

Great job, Rockster!

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Guess who's here??

And he outlasted the original mod who banned him!

Never understood why he would have been banned in the first place.

Ah, Littlenick, you have prevailed!

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