Gaslighting:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

😊 Happy to help! I hope that situation isn't happening to you. It's a messy one. 😞

It depends on the severity...if it is less severe, I would call it pig-headedness on Persons A's behalf. If it is very severe, I would call it possible mental abuse. Hopefully it is just pig-headedness.

Would it be possible for you to give us more context? I understand if you want to leave it as ambiguous, though. :)

If I may share some thoughts...

It's likely quite difficult to impossible for B to discern whether A truly believes their demeanour innocent, or is versed in manipulation promoting such an appearance, unless B is skilled in detection or has specific knowledge of A's tells. Either way, it might not make much of a difference. A was informed their behaviour was impacting B negatively, and elected to alter B's perspective rather than their own conduct to respect B's boundaries (in accord with the accusation). This could be fine for small things, evolving as a person, yet B questioning their sanity indicates a profound concussion from matching their inner beliefs (for what is proper) with the proffered truth. The insane don't question their sanity.
Nevertheless, in time it may be possible to come to terms with this. Painful, most likely. Needs good reasoning to fight for it. In other situations, I'd describe it as a "deadlock": either of 'concrete' nature, such as marriage, mutual children, family, reliance (professional, monetary); or emotional, essentially accepting some negativity for greater benefit, which oft involves no small amount of fear of change.
It isn't trivial, clear cut. Difficult to decide. Suffering the same effects repeatedly during indecision tends to brand itself in the mind, from what I've seen. Still, might be more important for B to know how they feel for sure, averting later remorse, whilst receiving moral support (rather than advice) from the people in whom they trust.

Sorry if it's kinda off.

By this you mean he's your boss, or a coworker? Either way, that's a counterproductive attitude, have seen it in stress prone individuals. In my case preferred to keep a distance and follow his instructions to the letter so as to be perceived as reliable. Getting shouted at outweighs favour in my book.

Is there any reason, then, not to get another job?

that reminds me of the nurse from "one flew over the cuckoos nest"

From a previous post, Araz and her husband are the owners of a construction company. That makes A not only a relative but an employee of the company.

I'd wonder if this display is happening in front of other coworkers? Is he trying to gain favor in the eyes of those coworkers by showing off and putting you at a lower class?

Oh....
Nevermind. Sincere apologies Araz.

Are you in line to perhaps take over the company upon his retirement? Anotherwords, are you the CFO and he's the CEO?

You are not stuck. You made a decision based on what you needed for personal peace of mind. Hold your head high and keep walking.

You got this!

Kind of sounds like one of those situations where some days your a means and other days your an end. I have a "friend" of mine (loose, loose term) who is nice to me on days where it gets them something in return but otherwise shows no interest in me.

Alternatively, the person could suffer from bi-polarism.

Lol. I wonder if that's a good thing...hmmm. I probably have just been on the receiving end of this treatment too many times. :P For the first 23 years of my life I was basically a doormat.

I'm sorry you have to go through it. It's not always easy to deal with. I just tell
myself that some people can't help the way they act - even if I can.

Or I just tell myself to not care about them.

He's just using you and being a jerk about it. Your husband knows but he can't pick sides and alienate his dad. Find a better job first and then quit. Offer to stay with him for a hefty raise. Treat him the way he treats you, that's what I'd do. Heck that's pretty much what I do anyway. At first I thought this post was about me.. lol.

I suggest you formulate a plan to "force or encourage" him into a written contract. Use the term; define job description. Example; I was invited to apply for a government contract to supplement my income. Before I could apply they required a written letter from my employer as to my current employment responsibilities.
Tricksters can be roped in:)
Sounds like he is bi-polar and it'll help you protect him should he go sideways.

Yeah he's going sideways no matter what. If he does offer you a hefty raise just tell the new job you have to give him a two week notice and then wait for him to hang himself. He'll do it in two weeks once he thinks you're under his thumb again.

Ah, so you do have a tell - he does the same thing to other people. Would be handy to know if any family member had left and how that went. In any case, since he's able to extract extra effort for little expense, would classify him as a shrewd businessman (aow, X25-26 comes to mind), and whether or not vindictive as well, it's strenuous when mixed with family.
This sort of guilt tripping is standard issue round here, and it's brutally effective against those who haven't developed proper immunity. "Fortunately", you've no shortage of reasonable excuses to leave - you've already had one breakdown, you might have enough workload as is, with more on the way possibly, bookkeeping was offered more as an alternative rather than suitable for your professional skillset, you could pursue another job offer (and exaggerate regarding its merit when recounted), or education. Important points: Focus on one main reason, in order to not be perceived as captious; Make the notice formal (required a month ahead here); Present your case by focusing on what you want, without calling faults to the current situation, if you've not intention to stay (I'm assuming this is so). Even if you can see a way which could work out, bear in mind that despite promises having no limits, real change takes vast effort in a rigid framework.
My own escapades included employers who were... highly motivated to keep me around, arranging meetings up the chain of commands, and a rather flimsy reasoning objectively. So I'd basically go there, listen to what they offered, and say "Thank you, but I'd like to take a different direction now."; my parents claimed it's disrespectful to reject any offers outright, so later added that I'd consider it for the extra time spent till the deadline. By maintaining the mien of an immovable resolve they'd have to do serious detective work to learn its vulnerabilities. I don't think it burned more bridges than expected, since I was willing to assist the surrogates on an occasional call, and only then did they learn the true value of that which was lost, yet it lacked that personal layer you have.

And it's not like he's going anywhere, he's family and always will be. Maybe if you leave for a while he will see your true worth and take a different approach. Probably not.

So far, since we have been back, this is my favorite post! Love the issue expressed and all the collective responses.

Very educational to a student of the human psyche.

🎉 Congrats!
Good job facing it. 😊

not that any of these words get thrown around but i found this pretty useful for terms you want to identify with.

https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/2016/0...

What are a majority of people who are entrepeneural or are in positions of high rank -

Extroverted, psychosematic, passive-agressivse, narcissists.

Simply called a "Type A" personality.

My two cents worth.

You can only favorite one per post- did you already favorite a reply?

It works, you already favorited Yeti's comment Araz.

I'm curious as to why...?

I vaguely remember that functionality on the previous site. 🤷‍♂️
Plus it’s a “favorite”. Makes sense for there to only be one. 😄

If there is only 1 favorite per post is there a way to rank them? Say, on a 1-3 point scale: great, greater, greatest. Or good, better, best...

I’ve actually been thinking of allowing “reactions” to replies! But was going to give it it’s own post for new features to be added.

Absolute yes vote from me!

1 point for good
2 points for better
3 points for best

And the Daft Punk certification to anyone earning 7 points or more.

Can a reply that has been favorited be un-favorited by that same user?

Yes. You can unfavorite by clicking the (now-red) medal again.

Right you are. Changed my favorite from Help-Bot to you!

lol..post run away!
That's good news.
Some cultures struggle with family helping and working together. Well maybe all of them..lol. It's always about the money and ego.
Trust lawyers struggle with this but have more experience in dealing with conflict.
I'm old fashion and reward for service and favor written contracts.
Best of luck:)

That's okay Araz, the thought is greater than the button.😌

It used to be that not very many replies got favorited. I think we have been conditioned by FaceBook to react to everything. It started out as a like, and now you can laugh or cry about every single comment. I'm not sure we really need to go there... of course it does seem to be working for them. lol

Yeah how can you have more than one favorite??? Whew...

Well, Araz, you did the right thing. Working for family can be very, very difficult!

I didn't use Facebook at all when the old Help was up. Now I'm definitely using it too much.

Yes, I went to Africa four times. And the States. I was quite a busy fellow!