There are pill boxes that have a space for morning and evening of each day off the week. As long as your friend is aware of the day, a box like this might help with keeping track of dosage.

Having her partner keep the medications and give the prescribed doses would be another option.

report her, her kids will thank her in the long run

How close are you two? Dani is right. A deceased mother is of no help to her children. At the very least call her doctor and make them aware of what is happening. And I would not do it behind her back. Do it right in front of her so she knows you mean to do whatever it takes. Even if that means breaking a promise.

If she dies, you will be apologizing to her children and yourself until the day you die.... and it still won't be enough.

You don't know until somebody does. In the meantime keep speaking out. She will die eventually. But when she does, can you look yourself in the mirror and say you did everything you could to help her. Cause I don't think sitting here today you can say that.

Social services is not the only game in town. If this were my friend I would contact every person willing to listen. Police, fire department/paramedic, doctor, mayor, governor, congressperson, president, Pope, Oprah and maybe Dr. Phil McGraw. Anyone willing to lend an ear. After she dies, you will find 15 resources that could have helped her if only they had been told.

@smiley @danihatesyou @Rockster160 @Sherlock @BA1 @Padre_J_Roulston

Thanks for the invite Soco. I've been too sparse around here of late.

To begin with I have only read the first handful of comments... and with what I have read everyone has good and valid points.

First of all IMO everyone, children included, should be made aware of what is happening. Openness and honesty is a good start to any situation.

Now I don't know that reporting to social services is necessary at this time... However, that would be dependant on you, the spouse, and most importantly your friend. The overdosing needs to stop. Period. If she does die, then no one is ahead.

To facilitate the control of the meds so that they are administered correctly, as @smiley has stated weekly pill containers can be used. Alternatively, (at least around here) pharmacies can make up blister packs, where all of the pills are in dosages per the time of day/time to be taken. This is a good way to track when pills have been taken, or not. Different from the store bought pill containers, they come pre filled and sealed so that there are no errors filling the containers. Around here, the pharmacies offer this service for free.

Whether the meds are monitored by the spouse, or someone else, the blister pack, or pill containers should be used. This alone could resolve the issue.
If this is tried, and there is vigilance on everyone's part, and the problem persists, then it is absolutely time to report to social services.

And try talking with the doctor as well... it would be best if the friend, spouse, and yourself went to the appointment, and explain the situation in full, and perhaps see if there is a change in meds available.

Most importantly of all. Don't give up, keep the faith, and love. As corny as it sounds, love with triumph!

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When you say overdosing do you mean they stop breathing and are rushed to the hospital, or that they take a few more pills than they are supposed to and act a little weird? If the doctor doesn't have a problem with it I'm not sure why you do.

It sounds like you have a plan to completely ruin her life. Bringing social services or the cops into her world is not going to help her at all. I have never met anyone who had their children taken away and it was a good thing for the children. Most of the time it is a horribly traumatic experience for everyone involved except the social workers who seem to enjoy tearing families apart. Must be some kind of power trip.

As far as the cops go unless you just absolutely hate this person don't get them involved in her life. Just recently in Nashville where I live a mother was worried about her son because he was depressed and had some anti-depressants and he sounded drunk when she talked to him. So she called the cops and asked them to look in on him and make sure he was fine. They kicked his door down, shot him and killed him. One of their body cams was "inoperable" and the other was charging in the car... right. The cops got a nice paid vacation out of it and said something about him grabbing a knife when they kicked the door in and rushed into his apartment. I guess so, if I heard someone kicking my door in I'd be holding more than a knife.

I don't believe in flashbacks either, and I would know trust me. I think you're sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. If you're really worried about her ask her partner if they have noticed her having problems. If the person she lives with and her doctor both think she's fine she more than likely is.

I'm sorry you feel shreaded. That is not my intention. But you did come here asking for help but then refuse to do anything for this person. I suppose you want that responsibility to fall on somebody else's shoulders or even the mom's shoulders herself. So I got to ask, what kind of help did you expect to get that you obviously did not?

Without the proper training and a medical degree I don't think you can. Does she want to be helped? If so ask if you can go with her to her medical appointments. If she is overdosing on meds she already has a prescription for she will run out before she is supposed to. If the pharmacy is giving her medication for 30 days but she needs more in 10, that should be a big red flag to the pharmacist. Support her by telling her how strongly you care. Other than that, not much you can do.

Then you are back to finding someone with the knowledge and gonads to actually give a damn. Can you meet her someplace safe?

She sounds worth a 7 hour trek. Maybe stay a couple days before heading back....?

Does she have other friends like you? I'm thinking she needs an intervention. I know that sounds drastic but if she does want Help you're halfway there.

Do you think her partner is clueless as to what is going on? Do they live under the same roof even? Can she work? What are the ages of their children?

What she really needs is help with her mental health, which is a lot harder to get than pills. I swear that's half the problem with the world, when you are in a bad way and need comfort and people to talk to they fill you up with dope.

If she's suicidal she shouldn't be taking Benzo's, people who take them are at a much higher risk of suicide. First of all they're already depressed and then their inhibitions are lessened and they do things they wouldn't do if they were straight. Like commit suicide. I know two people that have done so when they were taking benzodiazapines like Xanax, Valium or Lorazepam. One was a family member and the other was one of my best friends.

It doesn't take much of an overdose with benzos to knock you out either, but it's pretty hard to kill yourself with them accidentally. Around here even if they let you fill your prescription without seeing the doctor again you still have to wait 30 days, so you won't just have 100 of them laying around.

I still don't think the best thing for her is some government intervention. Maybe a family intervention where they move in and stay with her and help her out emotionally. It sounds like you're too far away for that unless you just take a months vacation and hang out with her, at least a week. She needs a friend, but yeah with the life she's had I'm amazed she's doing as well as she is.

Anon, if I contributed to you feeling attacked, that was not my intention, and I apologize for it.

I have been on lorazepan myself, and know the powers of it. If one were to take too much, you would be out before long. One pill helps to relax the body, and... muffle... the mind a bit, two or more will make you go to sleep. That said, unless you are specifically taking Multiple doses specifically for the purpose you won't overdose in a harmful way. This could be why the doctors are not as concerned as they might be with someone taking an opioid.

I would still recommend to her to try the blister packs, or pill containers. Lorazepan can be prescribed as a PRN (as needed) med, but care needs to be taken in this case. Her husband would likely be the best person to help with this.

All of that said, I think that DocteurRalph is right in one thing. She need help with her mental health. Which is more than just pills.

Pills are the means to the end, but they are not a cure/solution to the problem. My guess is that counseling is what is needed... or if she is already getting counseling then more or different counseling may be needed.

Given your distance, all you can really do, aside from taking a trip for an extended time, would be to support her as best you can. Call her daily, email, chat, whatever it takes. For her to be so in need of the meds, she is going to be going through a lot. All you can do is to try to be that shoulder to cry on, so to speak.

And at the same time, remember that you don't have to go through it alone either. I know how hard helping people can be. Make sure that at the same time that you are helping her, that you don't forget to help yourself.

Eight is an awful lot, even for a seasoned veteran who weighs over 200 pounds like myself. She definitely doesn't need to be around any cliffs if she's that doped up. But then again I doubt if she could walk more than a couple of steps on five.

If you do want to intervene I agree with the letting her partner hold the pills so he can give them out in small doses... but even then you'd have to go behind her back and lose her trust. You'd have to tell him what's going on and convince him it's a serious enough problem for him to take them away from her. That in itself would be a major deal for them both. It could be done if you really feel the situation warrants that kind of action. It's a lot better than calling in cops or social workers.

Chances are that she's going to deny everything to her man and call you a backstabbing, lying piece of crap. That's what I'd do if I were in her shoes, people usually don't change unless they want to.

But even if that happens and he believes her and not you at least it will raise his awareness and maybe he'll get more involved and watch her a little closer. It's not going to do your relationship with her any favors, but I guess you realize that. Maybe in the long run it will bring the two of you closer. I hope so, good luck.

The only person in a real position to help her is her partner--the father of her children.

I would NOT go to Child Protective Services, Social Services, or whatever, because those agencies too often take kids out of the frying pan and throw them into the fire. They could end up being *****raped in some foster home--and it's happened plenty of times.

Talk to the partner with the understanding it is a completely confidential conversation--he won't disclose it to the mother. He may, anyway, but at least you'll have some cover.

DocteurRalph is right--mental health care in the US sucks--it sucks like a black hole. Believe it or not, it's not covered under the "free health care" in Canada, either. The world is still treating mental health like it's still not part of someone's overall health.

Talk to her partner. Ask him to talk to the kids. Tell him you'll support in any way you can--but if he does not get some kind of help for her, he may come home one day to find her and/or the children dead.

Of course, he won't want to believe it at first--but tell him to talk to the kids, and he will know they will not lie. And ask him to come home "unexpectedly" a few times to see for himself.

Again, though, do not throw her into the meat grinder of the "system"!